Aibu?? Sorry this post is not for everyone but I need to say it anyway.

[Dreamsofanidiotmaybenot]

Honestly, I’m at the point where I just want a man who brings solutions, money, and a slightly easier life.

Before anyone judges, hear me out – I’m being completely honest here, and I reckon plenty of women (not all obviously!) think this even if they’d never admit it. How wonderful would it be to have a partner who actually adds to your life rather than subtracts from it?

Nothing more than that. I just needed to vent, write it down, and shout that I’m utterly fed up with doing it all on my own. And just so we’re clear, I have my own job, my own money, and I live with effort and sacrifice, saving whatever’s left after the taxman takes his share.

But suddenly, I caught myself wishing for a proper gentleman, a prince, someone to make life feel a bit lighter.

Can anyone else relate, or is it just me being completely ridiculous?

The things that some posters seem to like here would make me feel suffocated, I think.

It’s like the men who take out their work stress on their wife and kids yet manage to behave impeccably around their colleagues. Shitty behaviour is a choice, always.

Sounds like OP can bring plenty to the table, she’d like someone who can do the same just in their own, non-toxic, positive way.

Why do you think that would be weird to say?

I think it would be weirder to say you want a man who subtracts from your life instead of adding to it.

It must be my really low self-esteem…
After years of putting up with such low standards in what I was getting back in a relationship – while always giving everything myself – I ended up thinking that was normal.
It’s not, and that’s why I’m on my own now.
Reading my own thread made me realise that expecting reciprocity is actually the normal thing.
It’s sad how battered my self-esteem
is.😞

You absolutely deserve all that and more OP. The trick is to ruthlessly (and swiftly) dump any man that doesn't meet your standards and only stay with one that does. Good luck!!

Gosh! I could have written your post myself.
It’s quite spooky that only yesterday I was saying to my Mum how lovely it would be for someone to come into my life and take care of me fof a change.

Looking back in my marriage and subsequent relationship I’ve always been the giver, the support mechanism, the planner and do-er. The over-investor and emotional care taker. Nurse, house mover, hospital visitor, you name it I’ve been to hand sorting everything out but I know that’s not unusual and par for the course.

My prince is unlikely to come along now but at least I’m not bogged down anymore by a sense of obligation and responsibility for the welfare and happiness of someone else who doesn’t reciprocate. It’s lonesome but peaceful.

I would so love to be taken care of, but I've realised I'm on my own. I think I'm just defective in this respect (relationships).

Making you feel loved doesn't need a prince charming with money. Having someone who appreciates you makes you feel a millionaire.

We all have to work hard, unless, as you say, a rich man can sweep us off our feet and most likely being in control of everything wouldnt be the ideal.

Xxx

Making you feel loved doesn't need a prince charming with money. Having someone who appreciates you makes you feel a millionaire.

We all have to work hard, unless, as you say, a rich man can sweep us off our feet and most likely being in control of everything wouldnt be the ideal.

Xxx

Making you feel loved doesn't need a prince charming with money. Having someone who appreciates you makes you feel a millionaire.

We all have to work hard, unless, as you say, a rich man can sweep us off our feet and most likely being in control of everything wouldnt be the ideal.

Xxx

Making you feel loved doesn't need a prince charming with money. Having someone who appreciates you makes you feel a millionaire.

We all have to work hard, unless, as you say, a rich man can sweep us off our feet and most likely being in control of everything wouldnt be the ideal.

Xxx

Making you feel loved doesn't need a prince charming with money. Having someone who appreciates you makes you feel a millionaire.

We all have to work hard, unless, as you say, a rich man can sweep us off our feet and most likely being in control of everything wouldnt be the ideal.

Xxx

Making you feel loved doesn't need a prince charming with money. Having someone who appreciates you makes you feel a millionaire.

We all have to work hard, unless, as you say, a rich man can sweep us off our feet and most likely being in control of everything wouldnt be the ideal.

Xxx

I have never had a relationship that has given me more than it has cost me ( I don't mean financially). I have never been supported in any way by a man.
That is not a complaint at all.
I am pleased that so many on here are loved and supported by their husband/partner because so often it isn't the case

YANBU. Really worried lately about how much stress my partner adds to my life, and how little he makes it better.

I’ve been fairly lucky to have men capable of looking after themselves and the home.

Current DP is far from perfect, but he is trustworthy, good at cleaning/tidying (don’t get me wrong, we do make a mess, but he’s very good at getting rid of it again at some point later 😂), and since we started getting meal boxes has cooked every single meal. I hate cooking and he quite likes it so at the moment is doing all of the dinners. And the washing up. Puts the bins out because I would forget every single week otherwise. And is a tradie so is doing work on my house too. So that does take a burden from me.

Enjoy your peace and freedom and don't rely on a man to validate u or make u feel attractive

YANBU to want at least an equal effort. DH doesn’t bring riches but he does put me and DS above all else. He was due to go out for drinks this afternoon but DS didn’t nap and I’m on the second day of what are now awful periods (since I had DS) so he simply didn’t go. He took DS to see the Christmas lights so I could rest and then came back and did dinner and bedtime.

The good ones are out there OP. Don’t give up.

Im so sorry you dont have this. My husband is all you wish for.
Keep your standards high, but compromise. Pick your battles.
Hes out there

Not unreasonable at all

im sick of doing it all too

i just can't find anyone to share my life with

I've had 4 significant relationships in my life.
1 was a starter one. Probably 50/50 and outgrew him.
1 took more than he gave.
2 have been equal.

My advice to anyone is that anyone who comes into your life should add to it. I'd they don't, what's the point? I don't mean money.

Dh does my fucking head in at times (20+ years) but on balance, my life is better with him in it.

Yes