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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this a police job? Threatened by Vinted seller

746 replies

Reasonswhy · 28/11/2025 14:36

I know I’m not, but posting for traffic as no idea what to do.
Item for Christmas arrived today and was clearly fake so applied for a refund via Vinted. I’ve had a series of threatening messages from the seller saying he needs the money, and he has my address so will come and find me. He included a photo of himself holding an air rifle. I’m not easily spooked but feel really scared now as he does have my address and seems very angry. I’ve filed a “help” through Vinted but they may not even read it for 48 hours. Do I call 111? On my own with 2 kids so feel really on edge.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
aster10 · 28/11/2025 20:03

In reality, they are quite likely to be abroad (because of the £70.12 price) and, to think of it, one won’t expend your “criminal brotherhood”
capital for that amount. Meaning - ok, you need to hire some friends to kill you from abroad, this means you will owe them a favour and you will have to do something for them in return at some point. It’s not an amount to kill for really, especially if one has to coordinate it from abroad. It’s highly unlikely to be an international assasination scenario. Then these friends can ask the seller to do something similar for them in China or wherever the seller is sitting.

OvertimeSchmovertime · 28/11/2025 20:06

MoodyMargaret11 · 28/11/2025 19:54

Me as well -
They'll visit next week?
What about doing background checks etc on this so called "seller" and pay him a visit to either charge him with something (malicious comms?) Or at least have some hard words with him?

It’ll have been a burner account. Maybe tied to a false ID. It’ll be gone already

AnotherNameChange1234567 · 28/11/2025 20:07

BeserkingTuesday · 28/11/2025 18:53

And they can tell from a picture? My thought is a lazy …
I would not be happy with what appears to be a glib response. There’s a former police officer has already posted on this thread. I’d be interested in her view

I’m a current police officer. It’s a Friday night, payday weekend. Officers will be scarce and calls for service high. It will have been assessed by the Force Incident Manager, if it needed an immediate and armed response then this would be in action. The fact that it doesn’t should be reassuring for the OP.

Of course, the seller (not sure if OP had his name and address from the Vinter system or not?) will need dealing with, but given that he hasn’t attended her address at this stage, it has correctly been categorised as not an emergency. If he does turn up, and I’m sure OP has been given suitable advice about keeping doors locked, phone charged etc., then it would be categorised differently.

Not everything needs, nor indeed can have, an immediate response. As in a hospital, incidents are triaged. Somewhere there will be someone being stabbed, a woman being raped, a DV victim locked in the bathroom as the suspect tried to break in. These will be the priorities tonight, as they should be.

CuriousQuestioningGal · 28/11/2025 20:07

Absolutely call. I hope you’re ok. That’s truly horrible.

AnotherNameChange1234567 · 28/11/2025 20:08

OvertimeSchmovertime · 28/11/2025 20:06

It’ll have been a burner account. Maybe tied to a false ID. It’ll be gone already

The money will have been paid into a bank account. I would be surprised if he cannot be traced.

Merseymum1980 · 28/11/2025 20:12

Im sorry this has happened,what a scumbag

Theunamedcat · 28/11/2025 20:20

Paul2023 · 28/11/2025 19:39

I’m surprised the police don’t seem all that interested

Im not

notallwhowanderare · 28/11/2025 20:24

Of course go to the police. They arrest people for hurty words, so an actual threat with a gun should be a no brainer. I don't expect them to do anything (at all) but when you escalate you will have the proof.

BeserkingTuesday · 28/11/2025 20:25

Thank you for your reply @AnotherNameChange1234567
I am only too aware of people jumping to conclusions, such as myself, and am glad for your clarification. I was comparing it to my experience and I felt the response fell short.
However I would presume that the Force Incident Manager will have resources that will make a realistic assessment to be made far easier, and less immediate, than the incident I referred to.
Police are in a hard place-it is far too easy to be wise after an event - and they generally have my support and sympathy

Mildorado · 28/11/2025 20:27

AnotherNameChange1234567 · 28/11/2025 20:07

I’m a current police officer. It’s a Friday night, payday weekend. Officers will be scarce and calls for service high. It will have been assessed by the Force Incident Manager, if it needed an immediate and armed response then this would be in action. The fact that it doesn’t should be reassuring for the OP.

Of course, the seller (not sure if OP had his name and address from the Vinter system or not?) will need dealing with, but given that he hasn’t attended her address at this stage, it has correctly been categorised as not an emergency. If he does turn up, and I’m sure OP has been given suitable advice about keeping doors locked, phone charged etc., then it would be categorised differently.

Not everything needs, nor indeed can have, an immediate response. As in a hospital, incidents are triaged. Somewhere there will be someone being stabbed, a woman being raped, a DV victim locked in the bathroom as the suspect tried to break in. These will be the priorities tonight, as they should be.

What do you think the police will do next week, when they talk to her?

babyproblems · 28/11/2025 20:48

Definitely speak to the police.
Dont bother buying things like this on vinted - they’ll mostly be fake!! X

Spiderx · 28/11/2025 20:53

...and if he isn't reported and he goes on to carry out his threat with someone else how would that feel ?

Thelittleweasel · 28/11/2025 20:54

@Reasonswhy

I would certainly say to use 999 if only to get it taken seriously

AnotherNameChange1234567 · 28/11/2025 20:55

Mildorado · 28/11/2025 20:27

What do you think the police will do next week, when they talk to her?

Take a statement and exhibit screenshots, contact Vinted to request details of seller (not an immediate response I wouldn’t think), send a DPA request to the bank to ask for details of the seller’s account (also not an immediate response).

Decide which department will investigate and allocate to that team.

Chase up enquiries, potentially submit a Charter phone application to OCDA to attribute the phone number used by seller.

Depending on what results come back and where it transpires the suspect lives, the crime may subsequently be transferred to another force area for suspect interview and decision (as location of the suspect determines which force investigates when an online offence).

Florally · 28/11/2025 20:56

Can’t believe 2% of people think you’re being unreasonable.

I would have called 999. Hope you’re feeling a bit more calm now OP

TheNestedIf · 28/11/2025 21:03

Funny, isn't it, that the police can't find a soul to protect a specific woman who has received a direct threat, but they can rustle up 5 armed police to arrest a comedian for tweeting at women to defend ourselves against non-specific predatory men.

I would put money on the police not turning up next week.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 28/11/2025 21:07

Spiderx · 28/11/2025 20:53

...and if he isn't reported and he goes on to carry out his threat with someone else how would that feel ?

It'd be terrible but nothing to do with the OP because she has reported him.

OneTealSheep · 28/11/2025 21:17

TheNestedIf · 28/11/2025 21:03

Funny, isn't it, that the police can't find a soul to protect a specific woman who has received a direct threat, but they can rustle up 5 armed police to arrest a comedian for tweeting at women to defend ourselves against non-specific predatory men.

I would put money on the police not turning up next week.

Now, now, come on. The police are extremely busy at the moment arresting 80 year olds sitting quietly and holding up placards. As it seems to take bout five of them to carry every elderly person they arrest (and they're arresting a lot), they cannot actually deal with serious threats. Just elderly people posing zero threat. It's hard work!

Reasonswhy · 28/11/2025 21:20

Another update

Another officer just called me to say he’s spoken to his superintendent (I think that what he said, kids were so noisy) and they’re not happy leaving it until next week because he has my address so they’re coming tomorrow. He asked me if I know anything about him from his Vinted profile so i had to say no, and that his profile has i think been blocked. No idea how much effort they would go to in terms of trying to fine them, especially if they’re not even in the UK. I don’t have anywhere I can stay other than here tonight so I am a bit uneasy. He just seemed so so angry, and to bother going into my miniscule profile to look at some of my kids’ old clothes I’ve getting to sell to fund Christmas makes me feel uneasy I guess because it shows he’s a bit determined at least to find out more about me.
really nasty end to a hard week 😢
thank you for all your support everyone

OP posts:
Reasonswhy · 28/11/2025 21:22

AnotherNameChange1234567 · 28/11/2025 20:55

Take a statement and exhibit screenshots, contact Vinted to request details of seller (not an immediate response I wouldn’t think), send a DPA request to the bank to ask for details of the seller’s account (also not an immediate response).

Decide which department will investigate and allocate to that team.

Chase up enquiries, potentially submit a Charter phone application to OCDA to attribute the phone number used by seller.

Depending on what results come back and where it transpires the suspect lives, the crime may subsequently be transferred to another force area for suspect interview and decision (as location of the suspect determines which force investigates when an online offence).

I wish I was you! Sounds silly I know, but it’s true. Articulate, knowledgeable, the opposite of how I feel 😢

OP posts:
Mildorado · 28/11/2025 21:24

At least there's been some progression. Tomorrow is better than next week - I thought that was a bit laissez-faire. He's been checking you out, knows you have kids and where you live.

Mildorado · 28/11/2025 21:25

Reasonswhy · 28/11/2025 21:22

I wish I was you! Sounds silly I know, but it’s true. Articulate, knowledgeable, the opposite of how I feel 😢

It's because this awful person has got into your headspace and threatened you. Don't minimise it! Have you got someone who can stay in the house with you?

Reasonswhy · 28/11/2025 21:28

Mildorado · 28/11/2025 21:25

It's because this awful person has got into your headspace and threatened you. Don't minimise it! Have you got someone who can stay in the house with you?

Sadly not, very isolated and normally very ok with that but tonight, not so much.

OP posts:
Defrostedmariahcarey · 28/11/2025 21:30

I really feel for you OP. The likelihood is it will come to nothing - but the fear is the worst isn’t it. Sorry this happened to you

OneTealSheep · 28/11/2025 21:33

CAn you stay with anyone tonight @Reasonswhy ? Or have anyone stay with you?

EDIT: sorry, just seen that you don't. Do you have security at your home? An alarm or that?

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