AIBU to say my Dyson is a Cunt?

[RanchRat]

in a year I have only been able to use it a handful of times. It stops working after a couple of minutes and I have to pull a piece of fluff out of its arse before it will go again. I have never been able to do more than half a rug before it needs emptying and the fucking clips that are supposed to be so easy to open are actually very stiff and I have to lie the dirty bastard on my clean sofa to get them open. I have spent more time watching You Tube videos on how to coax the little fucker to work than I have vacuuming. You have to wash the filter, no, you have to replace the filter, no, you have to tweeze a couple of hairs out of its backside. I bought it because it was light and I am old and struggled with my heavy hoover. The worst £500 I have ever spent and could ill afford.

Nothing to add that helps but well done on a classic Mumsnet thread title 😁👌🏻

Oooh you might need new filters.

I got a pack from Amazon and now it's like new again!

Only £10.97 for the lot and I popped my old ones in the washing machine, so I can rotate.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07RGPLQ8G?ref_=ppx_hzsearch_conn_dt_b_fed_asin_title_2&th=1

Every time I use my Dyson I get visions of exactly how I will die - tripped up by its wires or felled by one of the 15 gazillion things I knock over while trying to wrangle it.

I can't fault its cleaning ability, sadly.

Definitely agree about that Fallon but Jeff was too clean cut for me. But Dex Dexter definitely shivered me timbers back in the day (although he did look like he needed a good wash!)….which brings us nicely back to cleaning.

Sorry for the derail.

Ain't that the truth
I've only ever used other people's on home exchanges, but honestly can't fathom what people see in something that looks like a jukebox and doesn't work - unless having spent £££££ they feel they've got to insist how good the thing is??

I have a Miele which I adore. It would suck the rug up completely on its highest setting. Brilliant thing. Can't be doing with bagless as I have a dust allergy, and shaking it all out into the bin sets me off!

A friend gave me a cordless Vax (her Mum didn't like it). That was a pile of crap, it would suck something up, then spit it out again on a different bit of carpet. I gave it back to her!

“That was a pile of crap, it would suck something up, then spit it out again on a different bit of carpet. I gave it back to her!”

My Dyson did this, would suck up a piece of gravel in the hallway and decide the house would be cleaner if it put the gravel in the dining room for you.

My cordless Vax has never behaved in such a fashion. It is admittedly small and relatively light and I try not to give it heavy work or long hours.

(In a previous house, spread over many floors, with beams and stone walls and log piles and dogs that all conspired to deposit dust on the carpets we, and our cleaner, delighted in a huge and heavy workhorse of a Vax. My only regret is that we didn’t keep one on each floor.)

I have a Shark and a Henry. Have to use the Henry to clean the Shark. I have a love hate relationship with Henry, I admire his sooking power but hate him with a passion as I'm dragging him around the house and he's tipping over and catching on doorways. Does my head in.

Definitely not unreasonable. I gad one once. Worst vac I ever had. I’ve not got a corded vax and it’s the best I’ve ever owned

Bought a cordless one a couple of years ago and it was a complete pain in the arse (battery lasting minutes, constantly clogged) until it died entirely days after the warranty expired (only 2 years on the cordless ones which is fucking pathetic given how much they cost).

DP took great pleasure in taking it outside and smashing it to bits. He hated that thing with a passion.

Dyson can sod off - they used to be good products but are now just overpriced, underperforming tat.

Bought a robot vac instead - I love it - and a handheld builders DustBuster type vac for the stairs. Much easier.

Go for Henry, he's always smiling and reliable.

You need to treat him with more respect, my Henry's a little lamb willingly following me everywhere.

My FIL broke my old, beloved dyson because he thought it was broken (it wasn’t), so he snapped it and smashed it in frustration (dementia).

New one just can’t handle life itself. Always losing suction.

I was looking forward to Brexit because potential bonfire of elf and safety rules. I thought ‘finally, my life dream of a hoover with a 50cc engine will come true’. Nope. The festival of flimsiness continues.

Yabu. Shark is a cunt. Cant take it to bits to clean it. Miss the dyson.

The rolls Royce of all Dysons DC1 just about to celebrate its 26th birthday! Complete with all attachments.

That’s what we had first time round. It was like Triggers brush with the amount of replaced parts. Should never have got rid of it.

Hated my Dyson. I now have a Bosch unlimited 7. Brilliant!

No way! I am a cleaner, use a Henry at work, and I hate the little bastard with a passion. Always gets stuck on even the smallest of obstacles, will only pick up on certain carpets, and smells of dog after about half an hour's use, even if you have a clean bag. And does it all with a self-satisfied smirk, because he knows what he's doing.

I had Dysons for most of my adult life, and their customer service is great. They once sent out an engineer even though I was out of warranty, and he replaced the broken part for free, and gave me some new attachments too! So definitely phone up Dyson customer care, OP.

I currently have a Miele 'dog and cat', because it was on offer, and I love it. Even better than a Dyson. Miele all the way for me now.

My Dyson is hiding in the pantry. I know you're there you little fucker.

Really shit vacuum cleaners. I will never buy Dyson.

Dyson and shark are both a pile of absolute shit! Henry is far cheaper and far better.

This.

Ah, Dyson vacuums. Ridiculously heavy, which made heaving it up and down the stairs such fun. Of course, hoovering all the stairs from either the top or bottom was out of the question because the cord was too fucking short. It regularly clogged up with hair (I mean, I know it's on the floor but maybe try sucking it up rather than winding it around your rollers?), shut itself off mid-hoover for no discernible reason, and the latch for releasing the canister was far too close to the latch for opening the canister. Those are not things you want to mix up, especially as you'll struggle to re-vacuum up the canister contents up because the fucking thing has overheated and turned itself off AGAIN.

I took great delight in hurling into a skip at the tip. Mind you, I replaced it with a Henry which is almost as much of a little bastard as he gets stuck on every door-frame, slightly-raised floorboard and infinitesimally-sized carpet lump going.

I'm just going to give up vacuuming.

I’ve just remembered the pure joy of owning a Sebo. But it was an upright & heavy and due to my mobility issues I needed something easier. Sad days when I handed it over to my mum.