AIBU to say my Dyson is a Cunt?

[RanchRat]

in a year I have only been able to use it a handful of times. It stops working after a couple of minutes and I have to pull a piece of fluff out of its arse before it will go again. I have never been able to do more than half a rug before it needs emptying and the fucking clips that are supposed to be so easy to open are actually very stiff and I have to lie the dirty bastard on my clean sofa to get them open. I have spent more time watching You Tube videos on how to coax the little fucker to work than I have vacuuming. You have to wash the filter, no, you have to replace the filter, no, you have to tweeze a couple of hairs out of its backside. I bought it because it was light and I am old and struggled with my heavy hoover. The worst £500 I have ever spent and could ill afford.

Dysons are shite, always have been, the stupid mechanism clogs and theyre disgusting to empty. The cordless ones are simply pathetic. Cant believe the price of them and the hype.

Henry all the way - avoid smells by hoovering up some washing powder first when you change the bag. I have a cheapy handheld for the stairs because henry's too heavy; it cost about £30 and knocks the shit out of a dyson

I gave up on Dyson and now use the GTech Air Ram.
I’m not very strong and this is much lighter to manoeuvre.

Dyson and sharks are useless . A Henry is the only way to go.

Henry is too heavy for me. I have Miele’s cat and dog as well too heavy, as well as Dyson cordless which seems to need replacing every 2 years or so. Next time I’m trying shark as I need a cordless. Mobility issues. One day I’ll find the holy grail of cordless cleaners.

Commiserations OP, I hear they're not that great.

I have an old one, I think it's probably about 15 years old and it's brilliant. Very heavy and clunky but it's like having an elderly workhorse. It's never broken down and it has a good go at any hoovering tasks thrown at it. I don't think the newer ones are as good.

This would explain his Brexit stance, as well.

I had had a Dyson, shark a dirt devil and a Henry and I can say with absolute certainty that the ONLY hoover which works reliably and consistently and lasts is a Miele. I won’t have anything else now.

I fucking hate the henry. I don’t understand the love at all. The suction is shit, the attachments are shit and there’s nowhere to store them, it doesn’t manoeuvre and tips over and I’ve knackered my back leaning over the bloody thing to wind the cable back up.

I feel very much the same about the very expensive cordless shark we have. It’s fucking useless in every way. We also have a Henry which is good at picking things up but is cumbersome to use-always tipping over and getting caught on furniture and such (which was why we got the damn shark in the first place). On balance the Henry actually does the job so he is staying. DH adds insult to injury with the Shark, because he won’t let me throw the bastard out, so it sits there taking up space and falling out of the cupboard every time I open it. It makes me quite angry just to look at it.

See also his over priced hair dryer. It’s a hair dryer. Nothing more nothing less. It did not reduce drying time or frizz and it did not make me look like I’d just stepped out of a salon. So it isn’t worth hundreds of quid. I was given it as a gift- but anyone considering investing save your monies for salon treatments and hair get a £30 Babyliss one.

Dyson the Brexit king produces third rate tat. Someone gifted me one and it lasted until just after the period to return it.
Henry all the way.

I got a cordless shark and couldn’t believe how heavy it was. Don’t fall for the Shark propaganda either if you get really fed up of the Dyson.

I’ve got a Henry Pet (which I can only ever hear in a geordie accent) which is fine.

I regularly call mine a cunt. It used to be amazing now it rarely does anything. It doesnt seem to pick anything up. Ive checked and checked and no blocks.

Dont grt a shark we have a "liftaway" still really heavy.

Thanks
Wonder what the holy grail is…

A photograph of “that cunt”.

Your days are numbered you arsehole.

So is its inventor.

Hope Mr Dyson is enjoying spending his profits on his cunty toy vaccums that just DON'T FUCKING WORK.

So many issues with Dyson and I felt a fool for falling for the hype and spending silly money on mine . Then tried to justify it to everyone . But the cleaner just gave me pitying looks.
So on from that what do people recommend? It needs to be cordless lightweight and good suction for dog hair .

My Dyson hairdryer is a cunt too but harmless. But I didn't buy it so no angst involved.

I've just started a thread on Housekeeping for reviews of the Miele duoflex. I had a Dyson in the past which was crap - I threw it down the stairs in a fit of rage. I then got a Vax cordless - really not impressed, it just scatters anything bigger than a microscopic grain of dust around the room rather than pick it up.

My Dyson was a cunt. Cried about everything. Battery lasted five minutes and couldn’t cope with a single strand of hair.

Was repaired four times in four months. Was so happy when my “no it’s expensive I’ll fix it” engineer husband finally got the arse too and I could throw it out.

Went for a retro Henry and never looked back.

I'm on my second Dyson in over 20 years. Can't remember when I got the current one,but it was definitely pre-Brexit. It works well for me.

Oh same here OP, I have never owned such a temperamental device and I’d spend far longer trying to make the stupid thing work than on vacuuming.

Gave up in the end and bought a Shark instead. It’s put me right off Dyson products.

I have had 3. 2 paid for, 1 replacement.

The upright one lasted but no need for the gym as it’s like weightlifting.

The cordless ones are great - when they work. Had to get replacement batteries sent twice and then they wouldn’t do it again as out of warranty.

Never again and now have a Shark.