How do I shake myself out of functioning depression?

[TiredOfLife16]

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I can get myself out of bed, I come to work and put a smile on my face and all the rest, but I genuinely feel so empty inside. I haven’t showered this week, which I know is disgusting but I just don’t have any energy. I get home and want to just rot in bed all night. I don’t want to eat, I don’t meal prep or cook good food for myself. I just have no motivation for life at the moment. I don’t know where to turn or what to do

My depression is almost always numbness.

I sometimes have a deep sadness or don’t want to live anymore but I don’t sit around crying all the time.
Most of the time I am just numb.

Not being able to find joy or have energy is absolutely a sign of depression.

I’m going to try for a walk this evening an to do a proper shower. Wash my hair, shave, moisturise.

Please don’t feel stupid. You are not bothering the GP. Thats what they are there for. I got PnD - I had a home, a loving husband, no work pressure and a beautiful happy baby. But I was so depressed.
Anti depressants allowed me to function and to start to find small moments of happiness and then to get better.
Are you in perimenopause possibly? If so HRT can also be helpful.
Depression can come at anytime. It’s ok to get some support.
Maybe do one small thing that is nice eg sit with you face in the sun. Go for a small walk - even if only 5 minutes.
Life will get better

Showering and eating will fuel your body and give you the strength to do other things.

Force yourself to move. A decent walk outside will lift your spirits. Could you listen to music or a podcast or something while out to get yourself there? When I had terrible depression exercise and fresh air were the only things that didn't make it worse.

This is no help but you just keep going and one day something small and lovely will make you feel something. Like I said no help but I went through a year of feeling nothing at all and then found myself smiling and just started moving on, with ups and low lows, but then suddenly I was back. Best of luck

I went to the GP and he wouldn’t give me ADs. Told me to read the NHS articles on anxiety and depression and O could self refer to talking therapies if I felt I needed more support. This was 6 months ago and I feel worse after talking therapies but too afraid of being dismissed again to go back to gp.

It's worth going to the doctor. Get them to rule out physical reasons such as thyroid or low iron. I use a sad lamp every morning which helps a lot at this time of year. Do you have someone to go with you to the doctor? It can help to have someone who can push for an investigation.

Sounds like Anhedonia.

Start slow, have a bath or a shower.

@NotSureFeelingLost

Go back and request a different GP. State you have tried talking therapy. The research indicates talking therapy AND medication most effective.

ADs are not on ration nor subjectively prescribed. 💙

Double dosing vitamin D and B12. I have a lot of gut issues and don't seem to absorb vitamins normally, so regular dose doesn't work.

Getting outdoors, gardening, walking with the dog whatever. It was only after old DDog died that I discovered how much I needed to go for a walk everyday. After 2 years of misery, I got another dog.

Having A Plan. Whether it is a holiday next year or a training course to complete, I always have something that makes me look ahead to the future instead of back to the past. This is especially important as I have a horrible past and find CPTSD creeps up from behind 😬

This might be helpful to listen to, OP. His whole channel is very good and he's been uploading a lot on this topic lately.

Thanks all. I just think it seems so minor to go to the GP for

It’s not at all honestly, it will help ❤️

Ok. What worked for me. Someone very close to me telling me to man it up and crack on with my life as you only get the one chance (he was probably a little harsher than this) Also reminded me of my great grandma who lost her husband and 3 of her children to Spanish Flu, didn't receive benefits, got nothing in the way of bereavement support, just took on more work and cracked on. Musnt grumble, there's people worse off than me, was her motto. Amazing lady.
Just that made me embarrased and gave me the shunt I needed.

One thing at a time. Get a list. Tick jobs off. Even small jobs. I also stopped calling it depression. I was sad. I was grieving. That's normal. Half the problem is with society today we make out like everyone has to be happy all of the time. Get your food intake sorted as a priority, eat well, vitamins etc. Make it your mission to be happy - fake it til you make it.

I’m not grieving though. I feel so incredibly guilty for even thinking about feeling this way. I know I’m so incredibly lucky and so many women around the world would kill to be in my position. But I truly cannot shake myself out of it no matter how hard I try.

It’s not minor.

But you probably won’t realise that until you are through on the other side.

Don’t wait until it’s major and your life HAS fallen apart due to a lack of treatment because one of your organs* isn’t performing well. That’s a much harder recovery, because a whole disintegrated life will also need to be put back together. For which there is no prescription.

*Brains are organs. Just like kidneys and livers.

You are not stupid at all.
Please get the support you need and remember the samaritans are available 24/7
U r not alone

I don't think psychoactive medication is the panacea everyone seems to believe. Lifestyle changes are far more effective and less risky. Easier said than done of course, I truly understand. But depression is usually a very healthy response to our environment/circumstances

Maybe set yourself a specific and reasonable timeframe. Take the approach of self care- small achieveable, daily routine. Make it progressive. Add another layer when basic self care established. If after the specified period of time you feel no improvement then ask for help. This might be ADs and CBT or other. I suggest it’s important to have a timeframe, a clear expectation you’re working toward, and know when it’s reasonable to apply a different strategy. Consider it to be your major project.

I’m gonna try two things tonight - cook my favourite dinner and take a proper shower

It's NOT minor to have depression and I say this to everyone : you may have Vitamin D deficiency for which you need to GO to GP and check with a blood test and then supplement with a big loading dose (like one dose of 40,00O iu for first week)

Honestly this has been a game changer for me and several family members at this point in the winter, and it isnt the same as SAD although part of it.

You cannot get vitamin D from your normal diet only from summer sunshine and if you missed out, you will be deficient by this point.

No need for anti depressants no need for therapy - for me it was vitamin D deficiency that caused the numb useless feeling

There doesn't have to be a reason for depression - it's a chemical imbalance. You wouldn't say to someone with, say, type 1 diabetes that their life is fine and they have no reason to be diabetic, would you? The brain is the most complicated organ in the body and sometimes it goes a bit wrong, and thinking that it's not worthy of a GP appointment is a symptom of this. Depression, like anxiety, lies to you, and it does so in your own voice so you believe it. Often a short course of antidepressants is what's needed to give you the boost to get on top of it and work on diet/exercise/more fresh air or whatever and kick-start your recovery. Sometimes people need them for longer; sometimes talking therapy is more appropriate, or a check of your hormones, thyroid, iron etc., or even a SAD lamp, but your first step should be a chat with your GP.