How do I shake myself out of functioning depression?

[TiredOfLife16]

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I can get myself out of bed, I come to work and put a smile on my face and all the rest, but I genuinely feel so empty inside. I haven’t showered this week, which I know is disgusting but I just don’t have any energy. I get home and want to just rot in bed all night. I don’t want to eat, I don’t meal prep or cook good food for myself. I just have no motivation for life at the moment. I don’t know where to turn or what to do

• Going against the grain here and saying I don't think antidepressants are great (having taken them myself previously for years). I found they just added to my feelings of helplessness.
• Weird one- get a dog. He forces me every single day to go for a walk. I do it in the morning and as much as I have to drag myself there to do it, I feel 1000% better after a walk in the fresh air (even when raining!!) also for company when feeling lonely they are incredible. And the initial training is something to focus on.
• You know this- eat better. You will have more energy, feel less sluggish and bloated and happier for it.
• Take vitamin D. SAD is real
• Exercise. Lift heavy ideally. The difference exercise makes to mood is incredible. Extremely difficult to drag yourself to a gym when feeling depressed, but stick on a YouTube video and go with it in your living room. 20 mins kettle bells video or bodyweight exercises and you'll feel like a new woman for the rest of the day (Argos sell light kettle bells cheaply but honestly a tin of beans works too).
• Plan something. Whether it's a coffee with a friend, cinema trip or a holiday, have a plan to do something outside of rotting!

As someone who has struggled with mental health my entire adult life, I realise the above may be very difficult but you need to take steps to feel better. Life is for living :) sending hugs.

I don’t know if it’s SAD, or what. I just feel so drained and empty.

Hello OP, I understand. Lots of excellent advice here, but you have to take the first step by yourself and accept how you are feeling.

Accept that you are feeling depressed and it happens to a lot of people. It won't last forever. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Above all be extra kind and give yourself the loving attention you deserve.
Do one thing nice for yourself right now. You can.

Are there bad things in your life or past? How old are you? Is this a new thing or ongoing?

Have you had a blood test (thyroid issues can take your motivation away - that’s happened to me)?

Hi OP, not sure where you’re located but assuming you’re already eating healthily and alcohol-free, the other one that sorts me out is getting out into real genuine “nature”.
Not just a park but driving into woodland areas where I’m as far away from other people as possible.
Many dismiss it but nature is so incredibly healing. Sometimes it will prompt a big release of tears for no reason! so I definitely make sure I’m off the beaten track.
Tree hugging is so laughed at but even if you just sit under one or walk through them it’s excellent (free!) natural medicine.
Sending love 🩷

It wouldn’t be depression if there was a reason - it would be grief, anxiety, fear, boredom etc. Depression is the overwhelming feelings you’re having with no clear reason. Please do go to get help.

This is both simplistic and incorrect.

There are different types of depression. It can be situational and have a clear reason - for e.g. grief. Knowing the reason or not having a reason to feel a certain way - does not change the fact that a person feels empty, not interested in life, etc. But the "reason" may make a difference in how treatment is approached.
Anxiety can be one of the symptoms of depression (as it is for me), but does not have to be.

Vitamin D as others said.
Low vit d can cause depression and even suicidal thoughts. I get sense of doom, suicidal thoughts and anxiety.

Dose up and see if it helps a bit. At the same time speak to GP. Good luck!

I’m taking all vitamins etc., I’ve come out on a walk on my lunch break to try and get some fresh air. I’m trying as hard as I can to eat healthily but there’s just no interest there - both in terms of cooking and also in terms of actually eating.

It’s really hard to describe how I actually feel. Just very flat. Not really sad? Just like there’s not a lot there if that makes sense

I also took all the vitamins but the D just needed more. Ended up in GP's with what could be clearly depression, luckily they did blood tests and I had extreme deficiency.
It's worth a try. You can get them cheaply and do 20k units for a week and see if it's starts easing up.
But still go to GP to get more help

I did what in retrospect feels like a 40 year sentence of this.

I didn’t seek help, and the ne time my arm was twisted I refused medication.

During the pandemic after covid gave me minor brain damage my brand new GP did some gentle but firm arm twisting.

Big wuss that I am about medication I had to go paroxetine because it comes in drop form. I started on one drop, ended on 40, now down to the equivalent of 30 in tablet form.

By 2 months in with my baby steps increase of dose it was like the sun had come out for the first time in 4 decades. The walking, healthy eating, good sleep became not just possible, but actively helpful.

Peri ruined everything for a while. But once on HRT the paroxetine started working again.

After so long resolutely thinking I didn’t need, want or maybe deserve medication… you’ll now prise it from my cold dead hands.

talk therapy?

You can self-refer to your local Talking Therapies service online usually, if you can't find it lemme know your city and I'll find the right one for you.

They can often offer either CBT or counselling for depression. Seeing your GP about medication is a good idea too, for many people the medication helps while waiting for therapy and gets them in a better position to engage with the therapy.

You can also look at self help for depression.

https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/looking-after-yourself/depression

That's a really good self-help workbook you can get started with.

As a CBT therapist that has struggled with depression in the past myself, I can't recommend enough that you reach out for support. The help is out there, and you deserve to make use of it. You don't have to go through this alone.

My husband has had bouts of functional depression and refused to go to the doctor about it. There was a time some years ago when I was worried he’d throw himself in front of train. There’s seems to be a seasonal affective disorder element to his and one of those sunshine desk lamps has helped enormously. Lifesaving I’d say. He also needs to be physically active and to get outdoors, so dog walks or a brisk lunchtime walk at work, the gym, swimming etc all help. He also needs things that break the monotony of work and home life. I’m very in tune with his mood, so can usually preempt a problem. I’ll book theatre tickets or invite friends over or go on a day trip somewhere new. Lastly, he loves DIY, so having a project he can absorb himself in really helps.

I get this. It's like a feeling of emptiness or having no feelings.

When very bad, I have taken antidepressants. They lift my mood enough to give me motivation to do other things that make me feel better- like eating healthy or a bit of self care.

I Started taking a multi vitamin and fish oil 3 months ago and have noticed an improvement in my energy levels and concentration.

I totally understand not wanting to do anything, especially when you have been masking all day in work. I break things down into small pieces and its more manageable eg I tell myself to spend 15 minutes doing x and then have 45 minutes to myself, then I might do another 15 minutes of something else I don't really want to do.

You have described it very well OP, and it sounds like depression. Please see your GP, that's what they are there for.

I hope everyone feeling low/tired has checked their iron and B12 levels with the Dr. Honestly so overlooked and very common with women - supplements don't make a difference if you have been anemic for a while, you need a transfusion and with B12 you will need loading injections, so don't just rely on supplements as they won't touch the sides. I honestly feel like a different person being on B12 every month.

Movement is really good for your brain. Anything the uses your bigger muscles (thighs and butt). Anything that you can do in unison with other people is good for your brain. The following are great to boost feel good responses:

Cycling
Rowing
Singing
Dancing
Walking/hiking
Walking around cities, navigating traffic and people and intersections whilst talking about something to a companion (your brain is juggling the chat, navigation and exercise).

Years ago people used to sing together while working in factories and shipyard, it was v healthy for the brain.

Irish islanders used to row to the mainland and sing or pray while rowing, the syncrocity is super for mental health.

I hope this helps. Force yourself into that shower, every morning. When I was grieving badly, years ago, I used to say to myself. Get the F up, the day will cone when you ll beg to feel this fucking good. It got me up.

If you go to your gp and say you can't be bothered to eat, showering is too difficult, you get home and go to bed and get through your working day hiding hw empty you feel inside, they will absolutely say you have depression and help you with what to do next.

Antidepressants were life changing for me. Yes, it can be hard finding the right one but it's worth it. Small positive actions helped me too. Brushed my teeth at night? I'd tell myself well done and I should be proud of myself.

Being numb is a very common form of depression. It's how I tend to experience it most, actually. I echo what others have said; go to your GP - its important and oh so necessary. (Besides the Dr, I would also say Magnesium Glycinate has been unbelievably helpful for me. Same with movement. But these things are hard to do when you're in that numb state, so if you do 1 thing - just go to the dr.) Best wishes x

I've been here before. Functioning, appearing to everyone to be fine, getting home and being unable to move from the sofa to even go to the toilet or take myself to bed (this was before I had a child).

In my experience/opinion, feeling that you're not worthy of help because you can get through your day job is one of the symptoms of depression. You ARE worthy of support, and well done for asking for advice on here.

Please go to your GP. In the meantime, you might want to look at some resources on self-compassion, they seem simplistic but really really help. self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/

Perhaps look at them when you're at work during a break, so that you use some of that work energy.

Please go to the GP

You don't need a reason, depression isn't necessarily caused by life circumstances. It can be caused by hormonal imbalances, genetics, all sorts of things. Please don't feel stupid seeing your GP, that's what they're there for 💜💐

You poor thing.

Definitely go to the gp but if you don’t want to medicate or in the meantime you need to try and force yourself you have a shower and go for a walk (listen to music or audio book).

Try and do both every day. These are key for me when I start getting depression.

Also eating healthy food and continue taking your vitamins.
As well as trying to get a decent sleep - perhaps go to bed early and read a book.

Depression is an illness and you can’t just make yourself better but it’s an imbalance of chemicals and you can do things that will help - the most difficult part is finding the motivation to actually do them.