Do you put your head above the parapet at work?

[Mygardenandme]

I'm just a bit pissed off really.

I dont get political, I dont get involved with things above my grade, I do as I'm told. Sometimes I'll say "that's not the best way of doing x. Why not try this" but most of the time I'm told "no" so I just nod with most things now.

Last week, everyone had gone home apart from a newbie and me. The newbie was stuck on a peice of work so I suggested I different way of doing it. Most people do it that way so it was correct. All fine I thought. No big deal.

Their manager sent me an email the next day telling me not to interfere or undermine her again. Obviously she cc'd in all the senior managers and the rest of the team. Most of my team rolled their eyes and reminded me that she isnt a nice person and is on a power trip.

This is the latest in a series of of telling offs (from her in particular). I honestly dont know what Ive done wrong most of the time. I dont think Im overstepping or not "being corporate". It really is coming from the right place.

Anyway, next time I'm just going to say "sorry, I cant help" (I really mean that). I'm going to not have an opinion on anything. OK, I will but I'll keep it to myself.

I told a colleague that I trusted and she went straight to my manager who then expressed her "disappointment". I now know not to trust that colleague. In fairness I think he was trying to help by telling her I was upset bit still.

Just wholely pissed off about everything. I'm just going to become a yes man.

It's sad because up until maybe 6 months ago, I really liked this job.

Similar here, lots of us know the job better than our manager because we’ve been doing it longer, but she’s on some form of power trip to make us miserable.
We all just work to rule now as we are all 50+ so just waiting for retirement. I was always the go to, to do extra shifts, but I say no now. Treat people like shit and eventually they’ll treat you the same.

I’d have replied copying in everyone too. Saying ”I think it’s useful for us as a team to increase efficiency by sharing knowledge, if you would prefer this done a different way do feel free to bring it up in my 1 to 1’s.”

Have a word with hr about your bullying manager and her cc everyone to humiliate you and mention everything you've said here about how she's making you hate coming into work etc.
She needs taking down a peg or two by hr and her manager. If nothing changes you know that you need to find a new job as shell just get worse
Typo

I was upset and it wont make any difference. I just deleted it.
If people are on her side so to speak, it would just make me look defensive and foolish.
Plus I dont want to discuss it with her so Im not going to offer to!

You are out of your depth
so you shouldn’t be giving advice or suggestions op
focus on improving your own work

Found the manager! 😂

I told a colleague that I trusted and she went straight to my manager who then expressed her "disappointment".

what did you “tell” this colleague?

Thankfully… not!

Indeed, I wouldn't want a shit manager like you who told me to stay in my own lane and not appreciate the experience and knowledge I bring.

If you are a team member that is not doing work correctly, I don’t want them suggesting other ways of doing things to new recruits

I'd have responded, thanking them for their feedback, pointing out that neither she nor anyone else from her team was available to offer support to newbie who was stuck. I'd point that that in future you recognise that your help isn't wanted and won't offer it. If you're in the civil service I point out that their own standards say they value collaboration. Shes a dick.

Absolute codswallop. Decent managers don’t behave like this. Offering advice to a colleague is what good team players do.

Agreed

but the “advice” has to be correct.

Blimey, I wouldn't even have called that sticking your head above the parapet tbh. She just sounds like an awful person. She might well have sent an email copying everyone else in if you'd said you couldn't help, berating you for being unhelpful.

I don't know that you changing your behaviour will change anything op? Maybe time to look for a new job?

No idea why the previous poster has said you're out of your depth, where the hell have they got that from? I assume they are just after an argument. Bit weird for this time on a Friday morning.

I'd be livid and would tell my manager not to be so rude and that I was only trying to be helpful to a colleague. But then I'm a director and I didn't get to my role without putting my head up to be shot at a few times.

Anyway, next time I'm just going to say "sorry, I cant help" (I really mean that). I'm going to not have an opinion on anything. OK, I will but I'll keep it to myself

you told this to a colleague who then told your manager ?

I’ve had an absolutely shite manager who did this kind of stuff, and now manage a lot of people myself. My advice would be keep your head down, keep a written record of any incidents/issues, and look elsewhere for a job where you feel genuinely valued. These people get their comeuppance at some point, but keep yourself safe in the meantime. Don’t let them affect your confidence or wellbeing.

Yes, if this is what you said and was reported to your manager, manager has nothing to be "disappointed" about because you basically said you won't interfere with the processes set by management ... which is what they told you to do.

If your manager is huffing because she's put out that you said will have a private opinion, then she's ridiculous. Everyone has private opinions And can't even help it. And your colleague is a snidey snitch. Can't win with people like that so just work to rule as other posters have suggested.

Or did you say something else in addition?

And why did this colleague feel that whatever the op said was sufficient to report?

I do a completely different kind of job to you, but I'd go and see HR in your shoes - it's absolute madness for her to send an email like the one you describe.

Gather all the info from this and previous occasions, see your union rep if you have one then go and see HR. She's pretty much declared war so you might as well retaliate at this stage or she'll know she can stamp on your for ever more.

It's not OP doing things wrong...

I just do what I’m paid to do and go home. I’ll do it even if I think it’s stupid but that’s 32 years in the public sector for you 🤷‍♀️ I get paid the same as the people who are all
stressed because they’re ’trying to change things’ so why bother? No-one in management ever listens anyway.

I would be taking this to HR as she has publically called you out, that's not how these things are done.

So you're just going to make up scenarios? Op says that she instructed the person to do things in a way that was correct. Who are you to decide she was wrong? That's so weird.