Do you put your head above the parapet at work?

[Mygardenandme]

I'm just a bit pissed off really.

I dont get political, I dont get involved with things above my grade, I do as I'm told. Sometimes I'll say "that's not the best way of doing x. Why not try this" but most of the time I'm told "no" so I just nod with most things now.

Last week, everyone had gone home apart from a newbie and me. The newbie was stuck on a peice of work so I suggested I different way of doing it. Most people do it that way so it was correct. All fine I thought. No big deal.

Their manager sent me an email the next day telling me not to interfere or undermine her again. Obviously she cc'd in all the senior managers and the rest of the team. Most of my team rolled their eyes and reminded me that she isnt a nice person and is on a power trip.

This is the latest in a series of of telling offs (from her in particular). I honestly dont know what Ive done wrong most of the time. I dont think Im overstepping or not "being corporate". It really is coming from the right place.

Anyway, next time I'm just going to say "sorry, I cant help" (I really mean that). I'm going to not have an opinion on anything. OK, I will but I'll keep it to myself.

I told a colleague that I trusted and she went straight to my manager who then expressed her "disappointment". I now know not to trust that colleague. In fairness I think he was trying to help by telling her I was upset bit still.

Just wholely pissed off about everything. I'm just going to become a yes man.

It's sad because up until maybe 6 months ago, I really liked this job.

My dyslexic brain read that as Parakeet, I was really hoping it was a batshit thread cus I need cheering up 🤣

Oh absolutely, fellow public sector worker here. As my dear late father used to say to me "just play the game until you can retire".

It's taken me many years to take his sage advice on board but now it's "just smile and wave boys. Smile and wave".

I once supported a team on a task, got penalised for not following rules I had never been told and was asked not to support the team in this way again. The next day, another person in this team asked for the same support and when I told them I wasn’t able to help, I was then reprimanded for not being collaborative. After disputing this, it was then brought up later and used against me during promotion conversations.

You can’t win in these situations; these people aren’t your friends so put your head down, do your own work and don’t get involved.

my work ethic is halibut jackson. he who was shy and didn't like to be noticed.

i stick my head in the sand as much as possible and if i have to drag it out of the sand then tbh i should be getting one big thank you from the one show as the management where i work are the epitome of controlling although it's a game to them and we are the fools who are on the receiving end of their machiavellian ways.

If she had sent an email to just me (and maybe my manager) saying "thanks for helping Dave but I'm trying to get him to learn how to use the telephone numbers so please can you help him use those in future or tell him to wait until the morning" I'd think her way wasnt the best way but would shrug, send an email back saying "sure" and if it happened in future would help Dave with the telephone numbers and a smile (whilst quietly thinking to myself it's silly because no one else does it this way).

Could you imagine the emails she'd send if someone bought in their pet bird? She'd have a heart attack!

Absolutely not, no. I’m on a work visa tied to my specific job, so I’m already on borrowed time.

Well, I start the week with good intentions. “Go in, do your work, keep your head down, come home”. I channel my inner Elton John and Philadelphia Freedom “…the less I say, the more my work gets done”. I even prime my bestie colleagues to make Stop gestures at me at appropriate times.
But….

And who are you to judge?

But if other long established team members are not doing their work correctly, why have managers not got enough oversight to pick this up?

Also, if it is that important, that something should be done in a specif way, then there should be a Standard Operating procedure or guide for it.

Manager sounds like a twat. She did that to undermine you. She could have had a quiet word just the tow of you but to send a mail n cc other managers is a power trip.

My line of work means people have to go above and beyond or the company will fail. And the company treats us well so its all swings and roundabouts. I work very hard and it is recognised. I will put myself out there. But I've worked at the company more then a decade n have no qualms about telling people politely to get fucked

Where does it say the advice was in any way incorrect? The manager did not say this!

I’ve come to the same conclusion at work as well. I’m older and more experienced than my boss, but he’s always convinced he knows better than me. The one time I stood up to him in a meeting, I got called into a formal performance review after.

So now I just agree with everything he says, let him think he knows best and keep my head down. Thankfully he’s not around much.

In all honesty, next time someone asks for help I'd tell them I got an arse kicking last time I helped, so won't be doing that again and then show them the email.

Yes, I do. I came into a team which was not a team, but a group of individuals. I've set up knowledge sharing sessions to share knowledge, but also to get people working as a team (that bit is still definitely a woek in progress.) I asked management first, and they were very happy with the idea.

I'm also doing a lot to improve the documentation, so when others are unavailable, at least the regular daily/weekly/monthly tasks can be done.

And I've been raising some other issues around security. It's going to piss some people off, but I think, "well, you should have been doing it properly and following industry standards in the first place."

Things won't change if people just sit back and say nothing, and that includes bullying managers. I've worked places before where people have left and they've said to me, they're going because of that manager. But to HR, they said it was because of money or better promotion prospects, so that manager wasn't dealt with, because HR didn't get told how it was costing the company money.

When I leave a team, I want them to be in a better position than when I joined it. Sometimes that will involve upsetting people along the way. But I survived my mother,and no one at work can be as scary as she was.

You seem to work in a bit of a viper pit to be honest. Just keep yourself to yourself. Don't offer advice or confide in anyone.

Yes. I just can’t help myself. I try to button my lip but where I work it’s as though they fell asleep fifty years ago and just woke up in 2025 .
its embarrassing especially when dealing with others in our field etc.
obviously I am looking for another job but this one works for me in some ways and I’m good at it, but it’s run by egotistical buffoons who have hired only jaded and lazy yes men until I arrived.
I was asked to bring innovation but I’ve become the unwelcome voice of reason, clarity, transparency, political correctness (gone mad) , diversity awareness etc etc
I could cry most days and I pray that nobody thinks I am like them

Keep your head down. A storm is brewing and here comes the blame game. Do your job and be blameless before it all gets pinned on you.

I dont know if it's that dramatic but I'm not good at office politics. I just cant be bothered either. I go to work to do the best at my job, not play games. I guess that's why I'm just a minion, getting told off by managers!

Quiet quitting is the way to go. Not skiving. Just bumbling along and doing enough not to draw attention. .Do your job but dont sweat the small stuff, Dont volunteer for anything you dont want to do or share your knowledge. Let other people throw themselves under the bus. When you interact with others grey rock them.

Ok, sounds fine.
Ill do that.
If thats what you want me to do, Etc.

Deep, deep sympathy for anyone having to continue to work in what sounds like a horribly toxic environment. I’m with @EBearhug, love working with team where continuous improvement really is a way of life.

Probably why I’m still working way after retirement age with no intention of giving up any time soon.

Looks like op needs to stay in their lane

This. Absolutely this.

It's really unprofessional and entirely unacceptable to berate you in an email like that. I'm sure most people will be thinking that rather than anything negative about you. I guess just do your job and don't engage with anyone on her team.

Well I hope karma bites that colleague in the backside for being a snitch