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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Resentment at 100k

797 replies

Arseholeneighbours · 28/11/2025 00:49

Theres a lot of vitriol spilt towards people being “high earners” at 100k and over. As net contributors, and most likely having made sacrifices, stresses and difficult life decisions, there’s many judgements about life choices , expectations and living within one’s means. What is the motivation to push forward in a career and to try and be as successful as one can if there’s no personal gain? It’s all well and good saying those with the broadest shoulders should take on the most - but to what end?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
BIossomtoes · 28/11/2025 13:17

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:16

Well it’s simple really most people regardless of earnings want to have or make more money to live a better life . I do. It’s not difficult to understand

It’s difficult to understand for a lot of high earners on this thread but you’re disregarding them.

AngryBird6122 · 28/11/2025 13:18

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 28/11/2025 13:10

I'm a high earner myself, but I'm not really motivated by the money. I'm happy to pay more tax, personally, because I don't want to live in a society where there is massive inequality.

Everyone is obviously motivated to have enough money to pay for their basic needs. Not all of us care that much about earning loads more than we need.

Do you mind there being massive inequality in how hard some people want to work though? Because that's a thing.

SleeplessInWherever · 28/11/2025 13:18

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 28/11/2025 13:10

I'm a high earner myself, but I'm not really motivated by the money. I'm happy to pay more tax, personally, because I don't want to live in a society where there is massive inequality.

Everyone is obviously motivated to have enough money to pay for their basic needs. Not all of us care that much about earning loads more than we need.

I agree.

I see absolutely no reason to have fancy things and a shiny life. My priority is making sure we’re all housed, fed, warm and clothed.

We have one UK holiday a year, and occasionally go abroad. If we buy my son branded clothes, they’re off Vinted, because I’m not buying £40 tshirts that need replacing in a month because he’s grown, again. I’ve spent about £200 on him for Christmas, he’s got a room full of toys and doesn’t need infinite amounts more.

We live an okay life, and go on days out etc, but we get nothing from flashy displays of how much money we have.

I’ve got absolutely no problem contributing what I do, to make sure other people can also keep their families housed, fed and warm.

Christmascarrotjumper · 28/11/2025 13:18

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:16

Well it’s simple really most people regardless of earnings want to have or make more money to live a better life . I do. It’s not difficult to understand

I agree. I think there is enormous privilege in not having to be motivated by money. Tends to be said by those who already have plenty, or are reliant upon a support network that not everyone has.

cardibach · 28/11/2025 13:19

FlatusParticles · 28/11/2025 13:03

This is very blunt but this is exactly what I believe in. We all make our own choices and decisions in life. Instead of looking up at someone who has surpassed you and thinking "I wish I could take their earnings away" look at maybe improving your own situation.

Obviously exemptions apply for disability and or life changing setbacks.

Nobody wants to ‘take their earnings away’. Looking at tax like that is not just selfish, it’s impractical. We need the infrastructure. Try paying for your own private roads, police force, army, health (without the state training the staff). It’ll cost you a lot more than your tax. Tax isn’t taking earnings away any more than your weekly food shop is taking them away. It’s the cost of living in society.
Plus as pointed out repeatedly, many very useful and satisfying jobs don't earn 6 figures.

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:19

BIossomtoes · 28/11/2025 13:17

It’s difficult to understand for a lot of high earners on this thread but you’re disregarding them.

No it’s not they are as entitled to want to earn more as anyone else is. You may not have to be motivated by money but a lot of people are and that doesn’t make them bad people.

AngryBird6122 · 28/11/2025 13:19

Christmascarrotjumper · 28/11/2025 13:18

I agree. I think there is enormous privilege in not having to be motivated by money. Tends to be said by those who already have plenty, or are reliant upon a support network that not everyone has.

exactly.

AngryBird6122 · 28/11/2025 13:20

SleeplessInWherever · 28/11/2025 13:18

I agree.

I see absolutely no reason to have fancy things and a shiny life. My priority is making sure we’re all housed, fed, warm and clothed.

We have one UK holiday a year, and occasionally go abroad. If we buy my son branded clothes, they’re off Vinted, because I’m not buying £40 tshirts that need replacing in a month because he’s grown, again. I’ve spent about £200 on him for Christmas, he’s got a room full of toys and doesn’t need infinite amounts more.

We live an okay life, and go on days out etc, but we get nothing from flashy displays of how much money we have.

I’ve got absolutely no problem contributing what I do, to make sure other people can also keep their families housed, fed and warm.

Where does all your money go then if you are so frugal?

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:20

Christmascarrotjumper · 28/11/2025 13:18

I agree. I think there is enormous privilege in not having to be motivated by money. Tends to be said by those who already have plenty, or are reliant upon a support network that not everyone has.

Agree

Sharptonguedwoman · 28/11/2025 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Then they aren't virtuous, are they? Did you mistake the meaning of the word? What an unpleasant little post.

cardibach · 28/11/2025 13:22

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:06

Of course most people are motivated by money. This very thread evidences that. Without the higher tax payers you would have no taxes to fund the welfare state so you better hope they don’t step away or move abroad

How does wanting a decent welfare state equate to being motivated by money. Do you believe everyone advocating it is on benefits and out to steal you hard earned dosh?
Id actually prefer not to have to use welfare money to subsidise poor wages paid by greedy businesses as it happens. Perhaps the sort of places finance directors are on well north of £100k.

BIossomtoes · 28/11/2025 13:23

Christmascarrotjumper · 28/11/2025 13:18

I agree. I think there is enormous privilege in not having to be motivated by money. Tends to be said by those who already have plenty, or are reliant upon a support network that not everyone has.

It’s not privilege, it’s a mindset. I certainly didn’t have plenty of money at the beginning of my career but I’d always have rather had a badly paid interesting job than a well paid boring one.

Coletilla · 28/11/2025 13:24

cardibach · 28/11/2025 12:50

We need to stop big employers who are making massive profits from underpaying their workers so much that we all have to chip in for UC for them. It’s nonsense.
That’s just for a start.

YES!!!! Totally agree with you @cardibach

I’ve often pondered on this and in my mind it is giving the employer “corporate” benefits because, no mattter the minimum wage, it is not a living wage (rents etc being so high).

An element of companies whose employees have to claim UC is from the taxpayer. Yes so people will continue to be employed which I think is what the scheme came in for initially, but then what is the difference between the lowest and highest paid? If it were reduced, would fewer low paid have to claim UC? Is there an argument where declared company profits that are of a certain level AND where over a certain number of employees pay was topped up by government, becomes repayable somehow?

Also taxpayers are contributing to landlords profits through the government paying for housing etc. Lack of decent properly affordable housing being a root cause here.

Some businesses seem to operate very well in the back of low pay/high rents because they essentially are also benefits recipients.

AlltheHedgehogsontheWall · 28/11/2025 13:24

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:20

Agree

There's a big difference between wanting enough money to live comfortably and wanting more and more money and resenting that you have to pay towards society.

CurlewKate · 28/11/2025 13:25

I feel like Brenda from Bristol “Not another one!”

SleeplessInWherever · 28/11/2025 13:25

AngryBird6122 · 28/11/2025 13:20

Where does all your money go then if you are so frugal?

I don’t recall saying we didn’t have any?

It’s not frugal, it’s just not wasteful. There’s a difference.

We pay x amount off the mortgage, have savings for my son as he’ll never live independently so I’d like there to be a safety net, I’ve just spent £48 on adult sized nappies for him if that’s helpful?

We either save it for him, or spend it on things to do rather on random objects.

But being able to do either of those things means accepting that you have the privilege to do so. There’s a lot of hard done to people on MN this week, who in actuality have the same privilege.

cardibach · 28/11/2025 13:25

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:10

what’s interesting about this thread is that you are getting a lot of people moaning about how much the higher taxpayer gets paid whilst at the same time gladly taking from them

Edited

I’m not moaning about it. I’m saying they shouldn’t be moaning about it.

Christmascarrotjumper · 28/11/2025 13:26

BIossomtoes · 28/11/2025 13:23

It’s not privilege, it’s a mindset. I certainly didn’t have plenty of money at the beginning of my career but I’d always have rather had a badly paid interesting job than a well paid boring one.

That's nonsense. "Mindset" doesn't pay the bills.

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 28/11/2025 13:26

However if I didn’t lose this I probably would think about working more or , woudlnt have to think about spacing kids out as much for financial reasons so could go back full time sooner - which would be better for the country overall as I would be working more and paying more tax. It’s very short sighted.

I think this is absolutely right @Theboymolefoxandhorse . It’s that the current system is very short sighted. The amount people pay for nursery is absolutely insane. It changes the entire course of your life and this society (like this user pointed out). I know people say it’s still better than other countries, but as always, it shouldn’t be a race to the bottom. And I absolutely think OP has a point - what this really is, is a tax on people who aren’t poor, yes, but also aren’t rich enough to start doing “creative accounting,” as the Panama papers showed us! Maybe it wouldn’t feel so badly paying, @Arseholeneighbours , if you knew they were also taxing someone with $10 million at either the same rate or more? It absolutely boils my blood that they’re targeting people on $100K and still letting people with truly huge amounts of wealth just skate by. No, I don’t earn $100K or even close, but even I can see this is wrong. They have to tax how many $100K earners to get what they would have gotten if they’d just close the tax loopholes for millionaires… and billionaires!

EasternStandard · 28/11/2025 13:26

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 28/11/2025 13:10

I'm a high earner myself, but I'm not really motivated by the money. I'm happy to pay more tax, personally, because I don't want to live in a society where there is massive inequality.

Everyone is obviously motivated to have enough money to pay for their basic needs. Not all of us care that much about earning loads more than we need.

Can’t you offload some of the profits to employees to make it even more equal?

You can make choices too to lower what you get and increase what others do.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 28/11/2025 13:27

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:16

Well it’s simple really most people regardless of earnings want to have or make more money to live a better life . I do. It’s not difficult to understand

Yes, but not everyone defines "a better life" in terms of money. For many people, there are other factors that they consider to be much more important - connection, contribution, personal learning and development, pride in their achievements etc.

I actually feel a great deal of pity for anyone whose main goal in life is to earn ever increasing amounts of money.

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:27

cardibach · 28/11/2025 13:22

How does wanting a decent welfare state equate to being motivated by money. Do you believe everyone advocating it is on benefits and out to steal you hard earned dosh?
Id actually prefer not to have to use welfare money to subsidise poor wages paid by greedy businesses as it happens. Perhaps the sort of places finance directors are on well north of £100k.

The decent welfare state comes from the higher taxpayer painful but true. A decent and fair welfare state should not include those who are not prepared to work and try to support themselves. And it certainly shouldn’t support able bodies and non carers who could work full time but don’t as benefits are affected, It is there to support those in need not those who won’t help themselves

cardibach · 28/11/2025 13:27

Benjithedog · 28/11/2025 13:16

Well it’s simple really most people regardless of earnings want to have or make more money to live a better life . I do. It’s not difficult to understand

Up to a certain point, yes, people work to have money to finance their life. Some (many? Most?) people don’t then go on and on trying to earn more and more as their sole motivation.

NorthXNorthWest · 28/11/2025 13:27

malificent7 · 28/11/2025 12:51

Oh I see...if we berate our kids for not working 24/7 !and for having a social life then we are shit parents for not churning out net contributors.
I think most of us have a sensible balance of encouraging study but also leisure time for our kids.

It's an inconvenient truth that shit and uninformed parents play a significant role in limiting the earning potential of their children.

Why worry about a broken system when you can sneer contemptuously at high earners, whilst using them as a cash cow for bad policy and other people’s choices?

poetryandwine · 28/11/2025 13:28

Blizzardofleaves · 28/11/2025 05:37

Asia, Australia, US, New Zealand and Switzerland in my circle alone.

How can you be so gloriously out of touch to not even know about this? This is old news, capital flight is taking place and is increasing. It’s one of the reasons Labour were more restrained than they could have been.

Edited

Sadly it is a matter of record that the concentration of financial services in the UK didn’t do much for growth. And it’s not just down to Labour. The Tories couldn’t manage sustained growth during their long stint in office, either.

The pandemic, of course. But we have sat at or near the bottom of the G7 for a long time now.

I think the flight will be limited, but we shall see

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