Why don't people take their kids on holiday?

[Micnerhss]

Just to be clear, I don’t mean people who genuinely can’t afford holidays... I’m talking about people who can but still don’t.

In my close friendship group, I’m literally the only one who takes my kids away. We love seeing the world, exploring new places, different cultures, and just getting out of the UK for a bit. I honestly think holidays are so important, its proper family time away from the constant busyness of life.

But none of my really close friends ever take their kids away, not even for a little UK break, and I just can’t get my head around it.

The excuses are things like “I don’t know how airports work” or “I wouldn’t know where to go”… but there’s a whole world out there!

If you can afford it, why wouldn’t you treat your kids to a holiday?! They are missing out on so much by never leaving the UK!

I can understand dodging planes from an environmental angle but they could always get to France on the train or ferry…

I’m not sure OP in short. We couldn’t afford holidays abroad for years but we’d always go down to south Wales which I love. It’s genuinely one of my favourite places on earth still.

You sound so full of joy!

In primary “they’re pretty much friends with everyone”

no they aren’t… with all 29?

We did parties just with their friends, bit really pushed the boat out and no doubt spent less than one of the 30 plus kids hall parties

I never once said all my friends budgets were identical but as Yes they are my friends then yes I know they could afford it but they dont bother taking their kids anywhere.
They stay in and play a board game or watch a movie on repeat instead of giving their kids something nice like a holiday.
One of my friends wont drive on the motorway and wont drive more then an hour from her house! bizarre.

As a parent you put your kids first and deal with the stress and manage to give your kids the best experience.

@Micnerhss what part of "people have different interests" do you not understand.
Some people enjoy "travel".
Some people don't.
"Best experience" 😂😂
It's only best if you think it's best. But not everyone thinks the same.

We havent taken the kids abroad because they cant manage a 5 minute car/bus/boat journey (nor can my dh) without puking. Dh has the same response on airplanes. He's still happy to go, with meds that help a lot. The travel sickness meds (and other aids) are much less effective on ds6 (though he would puke for the duration and bear it), and dd3 isnt old enough to try them yet - plus she's noise sensitive to droning sounds like hoovers, mowers, drilling, any monotonous noise, full on sobbing, shaking levels, even with ear defenders. I dont think plane engine noise would work for her yet.

We will do a short flight somewhere when dd is a little older, to see how she manages it. I've travelled extensively through Europe, Asia and a little of North America for work, so it's not a fear of the unknown, more what my kids can handle. Plus we're not gifted with luck - we took the kids for a mini break in London a couple of years ago (they manage trains much better) and ds got heat stroke and wiped out 2 days.

I cant wait to show them the world, when they're both ready :)

To be honest, I think part of parenting is showing your children different places, if you have the means to obviously. (I absolutely appreciate that people have sound environmental reasons for not flying, but in that case, ferries, trains etc are an option.)

I’m not saying that parents with no interest in travel should be buzzing off on holiday all the time for the sake of their children, but I think they should do it occasionally, to model that travel is possible. Just as I think that Mners with no interest in making friends should model friendships for their children for the sake of demonstrating what’s possible.

You shouldn’t restrict your children’s lives because if your own limitations or incuriosity.

You can't literally show your children the whole world and every type of experience that exists though.
It's physically impossible.
I have never taken my 17 year old daughter abroad (which is what the OP seemed to be talking about rather than having a UK based holiday) but she has had plenty of experiences in her life.
Not all I necessarily enjoyed (The Science Museum in London several times....soooo boring) but she isn't deprived in any way because I haven't taken her abroad.
I was also not deprived in any way as a child because my parents didn't take me abroad. I have some amazing memories of the UK based holidays and daytrips that they took me on.
I probably had more days out than actual holidays and they were fantastic days out.

Total sympathy as I am appallingly motion sick a lot. However, flights don’t usually bother me as much, so hopefully your children will be similar. I’m still seasick, but I grew out of the worst of my carsickness by adulthood.

But no one is suggesting you need to show your children the entire world. The friends the OP is talking about say they ‘wouldn’t know where to go’ and they ‘don’t know how airports work’. I think that, assuming you can afford it, even a weekend or two in a couple of European cities shows a child where nothing else will, the existence of different peoples with different cultures and histories, speaking other languages, functioning slightly differently, with different landscapes and different climates etc. And that modelling how to use an airport and a foreign public transport system and making yourself understood overseas are really valuable.

Or they simply just don't want to do it (and make up those "excuses").
No child is deprived because they haven't had a weekend break in a European city or whatever 🙄.
People enjoy different things and would prefer to spend their time doing those things and sharing that experience with their children.

Well, I don’t think it matters whether they don’t want to do it. I think that assuming you have the money and time, and there are no extenuating circumstances, you should suck it up occasionally, the way you suck up the Science Museum if it’s not your thing, standing on the sidelines of a football match in the sleet, or sitting through Sonic the Hedgehog when your child and their friends are too young to go the cinema unescorted.

Babies/toddlers - too stressful and not worth it.
Teenagers - not worth it either because they don't want it.
The most optimal ages are between 5 and 12, when they are actually interested and excited.

YABVU. I had 3 under 4 and no support or family nearby. My parents took them a week a year so we could have a break. As soon as they became slightly civilised humans around age 10 we took them. In the meantime I had a lot of sneery comments from people like you surrounded by on tap help.

Sorry but I think travelling abroad isn't something I should "suck up" and get on with actually.
I simply don't want to do it. So I am not going to.

I love holidays. We’ve had 5 this year, 3 abroad and 2 UK, and have booked a cottage break for New Year in the UK. We have no children. Our carbon footprint will never be as big as it would be if we had.

Babies are portable, it's the best time to do anything you want.
Toddlers are entertained by anything but boredom, it's an amazing time to go travelling - they get enthusiastic about anything and YOU don't get bored. Highly recommend it.
Primary school age: they're easy, as long as you stick with kids-friendly holidays, but totally worth it. Love a holiday with kids.
Teenagers: I don't know any who doesn't love travelling? They just have ideas on opinion on what they are doing, it's starting to get more interesting as you go into more adult territory

Holidays and travelling are the best time with your children, I feel sorry for those who miss out. Yes, there are things to do in the UK, but a bit of variety doesn't hurt, there's 52 weekends in a year and 6 school holidays! If you can't do a bit of everything in that time, I don't know what you are doing with your time.

"Not all non verbal ASD is the same. Just because your son can manage, or you can, doesn't mean someone else's child can, or the parent can face the prospect."

Yes they vary massively with their level of need. Just as some can manage with support in a class of 30 in mainstream others need to be in tiny classes in specialist with 1: 1 or even 2:1 support.

From what I’ve read on here teens are often not easy on holiday. They moan about everything when they can be prised away from their phones!

Once you have children, you just don't replicate your adult holiday, it doesn't work.

Teens have opinion, you just do something you know they'll like. They're just as enthusiastic as anyone else. I've seen people complaining about their teens being on their phone when all the family was doing was lying down in front of a pool 😂Can't blame the kids.
And the mother who was complaining was on her phone herself complaining on MN 😂, You cannot make that stuff up.

So the answer is then that you simply cant be bothered to do it for your kids. That's all you had to say. Selfish parenting.

This is also the place where people cant pick up their phones, no one ever answers the door, people moan about the tiniest bit of noise nest door and everyone hates men.

Plenty of teens enjoy a holiday without moaning.

Erm.... excuse me.
How day you say that.
You know nothing of my life.
My daughter has a very fulfilled life with lots of experiences.
This year alone I have taken her to a West End theatre show (we went to about 4 last year).
One of the Comic Cons.
Various collector fairs.
Numerous trips to the cinema (to see all sorts of obscure films plus special event showings).
She was offered the chance to see a big league football match (but didn't want to go).
We travel regularly to see family and this includes attending festivals.
We travel to different town/cities just because we fancy doing it.
No seaside days out this year - no particular reason - but we've done several in the past.
But I haven't taken her abroad.
Oh boo hoo.
Best I get her to call Childline.