Why don't people take their kids on holiday?

[Micnerhss]

Just to be clear, I don’t mean people who genuinely can’t afford holidays... I’m talking about people who can but still don’t.

In my close friendship group, I’m literally the only one who takes my kids away. We love seeing the world, exploring new places, different cultures, and just getting out of the UK for a bit. I honestly think holidays are so important, its proper family time away from the constant busyness of life.

But none of my really close friends ever take their kids away, not even for a little UK break, and I just can’t get my head around it.

The excuses are things like “I don’t know how airports work” or “I wouldn’t know where to go”… but there’s a whole world out there!

If you can afford it, why wouldn’t you treat your kids to a holiday?! They are missing out on so much by never leaving the UK!

Yet another thread where the OP thinks she's better than everyone else and the only one doing things 'right'. It's really bloody tiresome.

Or maybe all people are different and like spending their time and money in different ways? Sheesh.

So many possible reasons, that all boil down to “it’s not worth it”. The money, the stress, the anxiety, the arguments, the workload, the responsibility. That’s the short answer.

I have 2 neurodivergent kids with differing needs. We can just about manage one family holiday a year but it needs ridiculous amounts of planning and preparation and even when we get there I get very little time to ‘relax’.

I used to live for my holidays and was excited about sharing the joy of travel with my kids but they had other ideas! It’s one of the biggest disappointments I’ve faced as a parent tbh. I get really envious when I see other families travelling round exciting places together.

Some people just don't like holidays, either UK nor abroad. It's not fair on their children, but different people parent in different ways.

I didn't go abroad until I was 24! I'd never been on any kind of UK holiday either. Never spent a single night away from home. My parents just didn't like holidays. They preferred day trips for some reason, and we had lots of days out, either in the car to the seaside, or by train to London or other cities/seaside resorts for the day, so basically many hours of travel for 2/3 hours at the destination. It was just how they were.

My eyes were well and truly opened when I got together with my boyfriend (now husband) 38 years ago! His family went on lots of holidays, UK and abroad, and was eager to take me away (!!!). We'd do 2 or 3 foreign holidays a year, he started me off slowly with Med/European holidays, but we quickly progressed to Florida, California, Canada, Kenya, Egypt, Israel, Gambia, Australia, Hong Kong, etc.

I wanted to make up for lost time and see/learn about other countries.

We did the same for DS when he came along. Started with beach holidays in the Med but soon moved onto the USA, city breaks, Russia, etc. He's now very well travelled!

We haven’t taken ours abroad yet and honestly won’t for a while. They are only five and two, though.

You have said you take yours on holiday because of what you live doing, perhaps others don’t love doing the same?

We very rarely go on holiday, and when we have we usually wish we hadn't bothered! We have ND children and it's an absolute nightmare. None of us really enjoy it, so we mostly stay put.

Read the words you quoted, again, more slowly.

Lots of people don’t like travelling. I have a house full people with autism and most of th just don’t like to sleep anywhere other than in their own bed. Travelling so great if you enjoy it, but if you don’t it’s really stressful. I took my son away once and they change in food (he has ARFID) sent him into a spiral of rejecting safe foods thst ended with a feeding tube for 6 months.

I never took DD abroad as I'm absolutely terrified of flying. No way would I want her to witness her mother being a complete wreck and ruining the holiday by suffering anxiety about the journey back. A weekend in Cornwall was our go to. DD is in her early 30's now and loves travelling the world so clearly having UK holidays only when younger didn't lead to her "missing out" at all.

Ooo I bloody love holidays and love that I take my son around the world to experience different cultures. I really want him to see there is more to life than our (pretty crappy) Town.
I fully understand a lot can't afford this, we are in NO way well off but we prioritise it strongly within our budget.

As far as carbon footprint, I do care about the planet a lot...but airlines run thousands of empty flights everyday to keep slots. Luthansa alone ran 18000 empty flights to keep their slots. The average family trying to enjoy a holiday is a tiny percentage of the world's carbon footprint so I don't think that needs to be thrown at people.

My BIL and SIL never take their kids anywhere because they find it stressful, fair enough but i would take a bit of stress to see the world.

I would say I have an excessive love for travel compared to a lot of people but I understand some people just don't see the magic in it that I do. I'm sure there is things they love and I'm not fussed on.

Wow, how ignorant. Just because your child can go on holiday doesn't mean other children can cope with it. My child is absolutely miserable on holiday because the change is too much for them. They hate it and it affects them for a long time afterwards. Don't be so sure you know everything about everyone

but we all do things we dont love for our kids? That's just good parenting.

I dont love standing in the cold while one of my kids do their matches but I do...

I'd dread it if I had to go on holiday with kids.
It wouldn't be a holiday for me it would be hell, trying to relax chillout, have lay ins, etc.
And having kids run riot and ruin it.
No thanks I'll book adult only holidays.

I live in a road in rural south West England where there are three generations living within a 20 mile radius. All of them rarely go out , either up the road to the village or to the local town. Many of my other neighbours stay within their houses or a 100m radius 98% of the time.
Some people don't have any wander just.
Some families can't afford it.
Some families are not able to cope with foreign travel ( as they have neuro diverse members).
There are lots of reasons I guess 🤔

Sorry 20 metre radius !!

I actually find it interesting, though, that more children today have travelled so little within their own country. There's a lot to see and do, here, yet I work with children who have never been to a medieval castle, or seen Hadrian's wall, or experienced the tower of London...

They have, however, been to all-inclusive resorts in a variety of different places - resorts owned by the same companies, offering the same food, etc. Ask those kids and they'll say they spent most of their time in the pool with the other English children, ate a lot of pizza and burgers, maybe went to the beach.

Going abroad is only really this big cultural experience on middle-class Mumsnet, to be honest, these days. Most people are taking the kids somewhere cheap, cheerful and, crucially, warmer than here. Somewhere where they can still get English food, they'll spend most of their time with other English people, might do an 'authentic' Greek/Spanish/Portuguese night, but won't come away having been steeped in culture.

And there's nothing wrong with that at all, but I think we do need to get off the trope that leaving one's country magically conveys broader experience. That really isn't true.

I think your friends are the anomaly. The vast majority of people I know with kids go on holiday regularly and most abroad. Out of all the people I have every known 3 stand out that haven’t. 1 family were very eco but did do group cottage weekend holidays in the UK with friends and their kids, 1 family mum very anxious and possible SEN but still do regular UK breaks, 1 family money issues but still have sporadic caravan breaks in the UK.

Some people avoid holidays with little kids and don’t book when planning the next kids but once they are over toddler age everyone I know holidays

Also my happiest memories as a child (and a lot of my adult memories) are when I am on holiday.
I guess if you never went on holiday as a child yourself or you didn't enjoy them you wouldn't see the attraction of taking your own kids.
...think I need to go and book a holiday 🤣

For us as a family, neither my DH or I particularly enjoy travelling overall.

We have had some lovely holidays over the years but neither of us feel the need for a big holiday every year. I'm autistic and find a lot of the aspects of travel quite stressful (particularly flying) and although I have enjoyed being away and seeing new places, it isn't a 100% positive experience.

Both of us are also relatively environmentally conscious and I just don't think flying all over the world every year is a responsible thing to do.

Having said that, we do go away in the UK. I feel we can have lovely holidays and happy memories without needing to go abroad. I only went abroad 2-3 times growing up (once to France with my parents and twice to the US with extended family/friends) and I definitely dont feel like I missed out.

DD is 6 and is quite excited about the idea of other countries, but if we're going to go to the expense (both financial and environmental) then I want her to be old enough to remember the trips so we've held off so far. I expect we'll go abroad maybe 3 times over her childhood/adolescence but we will also be looking at the Eurostar as an option.

@CoralOP but have you taken your child to other parts of the UK other than your "crappy town" ?

I travelled all over the world when younger but barely left the country for 5 years when DD was little. Just not worth it, didn’t see she’d particularly get much out of it, and instead explored the UK. We now do go abroad but am conscious of the environment so we try to limit things. This year we went to France by ferry and train and Holland by train. I do think it’s good for kids to experience new cultures etc, but it’s not the be all and end all. They do have plenty of time in their lives to see things. Plus lots of people go abroad and just sit round a pool, and eat British food, is that ‘better’ than my brother’s family who do activity holidays all over the UK?

A lot of people aren't bothered about holidays and some actively dislike them. Or at least the additional expense and hassle of taking children tips it into "not really worth it". And some people just can't afford it but don't want to say.

I love holidays and travel and it's a real priority for our family (we all feel the same way) but we aren't everyone

Hardly ever went on holiday as a child as my dad hated being away from home (probably on the spectrum). The odd time we did go he would only go somewhere he'd been before in case he didn't like a new place and even then mum would have to talk him into it "for the children". I'm making up for lost time now.

When my kids were little I couldn't face holidays for a couple of years as I found baby/toddler wrangling such hard work and funds would have been tight and not a good investment for the limited enjoyment. I remember a friend saying "oh just go for a short UK break" and thinking "I'd rather save up for a sunshine holiday abroad in a couple of years".

We do know a couple who seem to have loads of couple-holidays abroad each year and never take their daughter, though she's always seemed so lovely and well behaved. They have a cursory week in Devon or Cornwall with her and the rest of the time she was left with grandma (now at uni). I have to say i did find that rather odd and selfish. I get that it is nice to have a couple holiday now and again but they are a very extreme version. I would be gutted in her place if my parents had gone to Thailand, Mexico, Italy and France in a year and I didn't get to come along to any of them.

Yes loads, we travel in the UK and abroad, we love them both but without a doubt travel in other countries is so much better.
No need to " " the crappy town bit...it is literally crappy, I'm not just dissing it for no reason 🤣