Why don't people take their kids on holiday?

[Micnerhss]

Just to be clear, I don’t mean people who genuinely can’t afford holidays... I’m talking about people who can but still don’t.

In my close friendship group, I’m literally the only one who takes my kids away. We love seeing the world, exploring new places, different cultures, and just getting out of the UK for a bit. I honestly think holidays are so important, its proper family time away from the constant busyness of life.

But none of my really close friends ever take their kids away, not even for a little UK break, and I just can’t get my head around it.

The excuses are things like “I don’t know how airports work” or “I wouldn’t know where to go”… but there’s a whole world out there!

If you can afford it, why wouldn’t you treat your kids to a holiday?! They are missing out on so much by never leaving the UK!

Have they never travelled before they had children? They sound scared.

It's genetic. Really.

Some people have the wanderlust gene and some people don't. And I suspect that's not the only gene at work. Some people are (hard-wired) slower approach which means transitions are harder for them. You know those people who all live in a three road configuration around granny's house in one village.

Then there's my family. Lived everywhere, travelled everywhere else. I don't get it. But I get looks when I say where I've been. They think I'm insane. I think they're missing out.

You need all sorts in a world.

But do you know they can afford it? Maybe they are saying “oh I’m not sure, I wouldn’t know where to go” but they’re thinking “it’s far too expensive for us!”

Yes, they sound frightened, as if they’ve never travelled, and are unwilling to try something new. (My parents had barely left their county, never the country, until I went to study abroad and booked them flights to visit, and talked them through passport applications etc. I first left the country aged 18 as an au pair. I had to change flights at LHR, with absolutely no idea how airports worked. But I did it.)

I do think it’s very unusual that your entire friendship group is like this, though.

We don’t travel internationally because airports are extremely stressful for ASD children, as is being in a different place. Perhaps that will change in the future, but for now I don’t deliberately want to make my life more stressful than it already is.

Logically I understand the reasons why but I am baffled too.

I love holidays so much and do struggle to not get why other people don’t.

Someone said to be they aren’t interested in just parenting in a different location

however even if my kids are having tantrums. It’s 30c outside, someone else is cleaning up their mess at dinner / cooking their dinner / making their beds, there’s no school runs commute, ironing uniform, doing school admin, or going to work. All of that with the addition of a cocktail in hand then yes please

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t take their kids on holiday, never mind multiple people. Your experience sounds unusual OP!

We don’t fly anymore. So bad for the environment. Traveling elsewhere takes effort. So we generally do uk breaks. And we’re skint. That too.

That’s weird if they can genuinely afford it but I find there are a lot of people in the Uk who are not curious about other cultures or getting out of their comfort zone. Horses for courses I guess.

I have to say I don’t know anyone who doesn’t take their kids on holidays! That’s bizarre at best. I know a friend of a friend that likes to go on holiday just with her husband and leaves her kid with either her parents or his but that’s not the norm in my group. We are away every school break 🤣 and live for holidays!

Obviously I know some people who do take their kids on holiday but my closest friendship group dont, wider friends do.

So do I, Iv already booked 1 abroad trip and 3 UK trips for next year and I have another 2 abroad trips at planning stage!

Yes, why aren't we all carbon copies of each other, making all the same choices?

What do you do to offset the carbon?

Possibly could be genetic actually.... My parents used to take us abroad every year. Some of my most vivid and happiest childhood memories are from my holidays abroad with my family.

My best friend for example only ever went on holiday once with her family in the whole time I knew her.

Obviously but why wouldn't you want to give your kids those experiences in life. Broaden their horizon a bit, treat them to seeing what the world has to offer.

We don’t travel because we are all ASD and because I am disabled.

that does not mean I don’t make sure my child doesn’t have amazing life experiences. I have money and the ability to mentally navigate our society and I use both to our advantage to execute domestic adventures.

I always choose direct flights over connections, they use less fuel.👌

She is living and using the planes that would be flying with or without her on it.

My son has non verbal severe ASD. Having autism doesn't stop anyone travelling. It may be more stressful at times but its worth it to give your kids that experience.

...or not, depending on how stressful it is. Sincerely, another autistic person.

I have three young kids. After trying (and trying and trying), and after plenty of travel pre-kids, I have scaled it right back. It would be cheaper and more enjoyable to stand in my shower cutting up £20 notes, to coin a phrase often applied to owning a yacht.

Are you just talking about going abroad?
Personally I am happy to holiday in the UK.
I love it here. There's so much to see and do and at the big old age of 50 I have yet to experience it all.
I know lots of children who have been on holiday to countries all over the world but have experienced barely anything of the UK.

Maybe we just have different tolerant levels for stress or maybe I just plan better for my ASD Child.... I also have more than one kid. Having multiple kids doesn't change anything.

I can think of a few people who all have different reasons, which seem reasonable enough.

One would find it very difficult to properly arrange care for both animals and family that they have to look after regularly.
One has a DC who is intensively into sport at a competitive level, and additionally she and her DP find it pretty hard to sort out leave that works for all of them - his work pattern includes weekend days and shifts and non-negotiable Christmas demands, hers is a combination of NHS and teaching roles so getting one thing out of that timing is not easy.
One, hoping for sun and being fond of heat, has had the experience of going on resort holidays but with a DC that is physically very active, and has said that it was not a relaxing experience despite the Kids' Club etc. because the DC was not any less active, but also struggled and was bored within the early days.
One manages - often going to see relatives abroad - but their DC gets very sick in any vehicle from trains to planes, and the travel is a bit miserable.