Why don't people take their kids on holiday?

[Micnerhss]

Just to be clear, I don’t mean people who genuinely can’t afford holidays... I’m talking about people who can but still don’t.

In my close friendship group, I’m literally the only one who takes my kids away. We love seeing the world, exploring new places, different cultures, and just getting out of the UK for a bit. I honestly think holidays are so important, its proper family time away from the constant busyness of life.

But none of my really close friends ever take their kids away, not even for a little UK break, and I just can’t get my head around it.

The excuses are things like “I don’t know how airports work” or “I wouldn’t know where to go”… but there’s a whole world out there!

If you can afford it, why wouldn’t you treat your kids to a holiday?! They are missing out on so much by never leaving the UK!

You must know a REALLY limited circle of people.

yes, people dont' understand - why would they? If we do it, we know it's not a big deal, how could we understand?

Don't call us "annoying" because we make the effort. Again, wouldn't mention it to you, it's your life. I feel sorry for the kids, that's all.

What is India and China doing? Sod all, so shut up. If I wanna enjoy a holiday abroad. I shall. Hasn’t stopped Greta from flying all over the bloody world. Oh she’s sailing now. Forgot.

Kids can enjoy cultural experiences and eating different cuisines without going on loads of holidays. We take ours abroad and enjoy UK breaks yearly - guess which holiday destination is their favourite and they insist on visiting yearly? It's Anglesey. Kids don't need to get on a plane to have an amazing holiday or enjoy family time.

so do I, it's not common.

Even the kids talk about their holidays at school, they all go somewhere. Mine moan when we don' t go, because (long list of names and their destinations) have all had a holiday and they didn't 😂

As I said, insufferable.

You feel sorry for children who don’t go on holiday enough for your liking?

And “excuses” being people doing things you don’t approve of, like going on holiday as a couple? Or even not going at all.

MN is a very funny place indeed, now we can add ‘not holidaying enough’ on the list of things we all need to feel bad about😑

Possibly could be genetic actually.... My parents used to take us abroad every year. Some of my most vivid and happiest childhood memories are from my holidays abroad with my family.

That's not genetic OP, that's about you re-living, or trying to recreate happy memories. In the 'nature vs nurture' debate that definitely comes under nurture.

We probably all 'don't try things we've not experienced' simply because they don't really cross our radar.
Like I find it strange that so many people just go to work, come home, eat their tea, watch tele, and go to bed. I can't imagine living my life without belonging to different communities and doing different things outside of work. But I know there are millions of people who do. I should imagine a lot of us copy the sorts of experiences we enjoyed as dc, when we have our own dc. For you that includes holidays. For other people, it isn't.

Newsflash - people are different.

My teens hate flying, so we stick to uk holidays, but even they are expensive, trying to coordinate time off together is also tricky so we have had 1 holiday this year. But kids are happy at home, have the option to go away more/further away, they genuinely aren’t fussed ( but do like it when we are away)

My son has ASD. He HATES holidays. Hates every second we are away, cries the whole time, hates staying away from home, hates the food, hates the weather, is just utterly miserable until we are home. No amount of planning would change that.

So do I then spend thousands of pounds for a week somewhere where I know one of my children is going to be utterly miserable?

I thought from your title you were saying they leave their kid at home but you're saying they just don't go on holidays.

Meh, we all have different disposable incomes, different priorities, confidence, different upbringings. I was lucky enough to have parents who took us all round Europe with a tent. But that's a form of social capital, a privilege that many don't have, especially if they have other stuff going on in their lives like disabilities and the financial hit that often comes with that. And it's simply not something that everyone else values like you do.

YABU to say that you take your disabled child abroad therefore everyone else can or should. It is not that simple. I think you should be less judgy of your friends. Maybe they just have different social capital, priorities and resources to you.

I don't know anyone who CAN afford to go on holiday but never do. Your friends are the anomaly here.

Exactly. Mine quite likes holidays with certain accommodations. But that's just luck. If he hated it like your son does then 100% we wouldn't do it. It wouldn't be a holiday for anyone.

I hope things get easier for you one day.

Exactly
and if the op maybe ever read or listened or watched the news she might be aware of that

but too busy not looking outside her very very immediate circle

so when you are on holiday…. You don’t see families with children OP? 😆

I have never travelled outside the uk with my kids. I would rather spend my money on other thing. We have travelled all over the uk. They don’t feel deprived.

Not everyone shares your interest or passion. Doesn't seem that complicated to me.

But the bizarre thing is… if this op does actually travel lots, surely she sees loads of families on holiday.

i have a sneaking suspicion this OP was just bored of day time tv and thought she’d start a daft thread for the sake of it

I took my twins on holiday abroad aged 18 months. It was so fucking stressful we vowed no more abroad holidays for a good few years.

one had an ear infection and screamed the whole fucking plane journey and we had to sort out healthcare once there. Both decided that was a good week to start walking independently and fell so much. The villa was impossible to toddler proof. They hated the beach - literally screamed if any part of their body touched sand.

honestly it was shit.

much better when they were older but still hard work.

All the broadening your horizon’s hasn’t helped you not be so small minded.

Maybe spend some money working on yourself?

@Micnerhss I think sometimes views on holidays with children outside of the UK is linked to family culture and possibly social
class.
I have a friend who plans on taking her 3 year old abroad when she is 10
as it will be more manageable
then. Meanwhile, my 3 year old has been to the Caribbean twice, Greece and Italy alongside UK breaks. Said friend has never left Europe and prefers to stick to Devon and Cornwall as this “safe”. Spain possibly safe when their child is 10, anywhere else “stressful”.

Because I can't be fucked with the hassle.

Or, apparently I'm a shit parent who can't plan properly. 😆 🤣

I think what you said here was very unkind. There was no need for it.

I do think it’s very unusual that your entire friendship group is like this, though.

Agreed. Most of the people I know are away every few weeks. I'm the one who isn't, I've been overseas twice this year but only for short breaks.

I know of people who pmdont go abroad for different reasons but don't know any families that don't even do a UK holiday. Even if its just going to Haven for the weekend or something.

I've never really thought about it. I guess I know some of my friends go on holiday and some I've not noticed going on holiday but I don't keep a track of how often or where they go, maybe I'll like a post on facebook if it pops up.

Different people have different priorities.

I mentioned party planning to a group of women and 4 of them said that they'd never throw a birthday party for their kids, it was too much effort, too expensive, they don't like other people's kids.

I thought that was a bit sad- we can't afford a party every year but when we do my daughter is so excited to have one. I would feel so sad if she got to 18 having never had everyone sing happy birthday and watch her blow out the candles and had all the fun of being the birthday girl.

But that's for their families to decide.