Jumping to conclusions on potentially bitchy behaviour?

[Coloursyrue]

Sorry to use the word bitchy, I just actually couldn’t think of another word.

I was friends with three women, I was invited into the group by one of them. Years passed and I did things with them individually and as a group. I honestly thought I was friends with the other two.

Main friend decided she didn’t want to be my friend anymore (never said anything to me). I later asked one of the other two if she wanted to meet for dinner (she lives 3 hours away I was in her city for work) and she made an excuse.

They all went out and posted lots of photos together. I just didn’t react. I felt it was a shame that none could say if there was a problem, or if I’d done something to upset them, as I’d at least like to apologise but I accepted you don’t always get an explanation. in life.

I’ve moved on, it’s been a few months, I’m living my life, I have other friends around me. I then noticed a missed call from one of other two. I just text saying “sorry I’ve just seen this” - she quickly said “my phones been a nightmare and keeps randomly calling people”

I just don’t believe it … Aibu? Am I reading too much into this? I don’t think they care about losing my friendship from how they’ve acted but … I think sometimes not getting a reaction annoys people?

I’m not entirely sure what you’re asking —whether it wasn’t a pocket dial? That she’d phoned you because she was annoyed at you not reacting to the fact that they went out without you? Who knows? My phone is ancient and does do random pocket dials. It phoned a builder I employed eight years ago, and a defunct soft play in a town I used to live in.

I think I’d be more concerned at the loss of the proper friend, the one who introduced you to the other two. How do you know she decided she no longer wanted to be your friend if she didn’t tell you?

It wasn’t a pocket dial.

And because she made it very obvious.

It all sounds a bit schoolgirlish. Concentrate on your other friendships and bin the ones who dont bother with you x

It doesn't have to be a pocket dial. I was talking to my friend the other day (face to face) when Siri randomly spouted "calling dad mobile"
I had to explain to my dad that I didn't actually need to talk to him!

Just move on and forget them. They all sound nasty.

Well, you asked whether you were reading too much into this? I’d say yes. Sometimes a pocket dial is just a pocket dial.

But ultimately, are these friendships important to you? It just seems crazy to me that you haven’t spoken directly to the longterm friend who originally introduced you to the group about what the problem is, and seem to be more focused on photos of them going out together snd a possible pocket dial…

They sound like awful people. Block them and dont give them another thought.

I'd delete their numbers and from socials.

Do you think they had been gossiping about you and "siri" thought she was asking to call you?

What an odd thing to do though. Why do you think she would bother ringing you? I don't see what it would achieve?
Anyway, block them all and put it out of your mind. Don't waste your precious time thinking about it. It all sounds quite childish (not you!).

You do not need people like this in your life. You deserve never to waste another fraction of a second of your time or energy giving them another thought.

Focus on friends who are grown ups.

I very clearly said I had moved on.

Yet you started a thread about it?

She was being nice!

It sounds like a genuine accidental call as otherwise what would be the point of calling you? It’s not like she did it from an anonymous number. That would be my best guess.

I would have asked the original friend what had happened, especially if you were all close. I have done similar when excluded. In my case it was all fairly innocent, but I think shitty behaviour should always be called out. As it’s been a while now, just leave it be. Lesson learned.

So reply and say 'ah ok, no worries' and think no more about it

How do you know it wasn’t a pocket dial?

I think the call was probably an accident, especially as it sounds like daytime (so not like they were drunk and behaving badly). If it had been 1am or something, then it's weird but if it's the daytime, she's probably pressed the wrong button or the voice command has picked up the wrong name - I start video calls all the time by accident!
The rest of the behaviour sounds horrid and like the original friend is very odd/mean or has massively over reacted to something. I can see why the secondary friends stuck with her, I think that often happens and even if they like you maybe they felt it was too awkward, or the original friend has said you've done something horrendous to explain the sudden split.
Just one of those horrid things, it happens, sounds like you've handled it really well and moved forward. If you genuinely think the phone call was malicious (I don't) then you could always block all 3 numbers so you know they can't bother you again, but I suspect it was just an error. I can't see any reason for it not to be, as it sounded like they were very keen to not speak with you, rather than anything else!

Maybe she wanted to see if she had been blocked. Don't give it anymore headspace and unfollow on SM.

Should have just said “Oh okay, feel free to delete my number to avoid this happening again”.

Well to be perfectly honest if you have moved on you wouldn't have started this thread in the first place

I’m always making pocket dials, non intentional. Personally I’d assume her phone was playing up, nothing more

Phone glitch, nothing more than that.

This is a bizarre thread. Why are you thinking she purposely called you as opposed to an accidental call? She clearly isn’t pursing a normal conversation with you, which presumably she would if it was a purposeful call.

Why do you think there is a distinction and what is the relevance?