To ask childminder not to bring DS to playgroup

[Mynumberone]

So we have a wonderful childminder, our DS is 15 months and started with childminder 5 months ago. Cannot fault her and DS loves her.

Childminder is great at bringing DS to playgroups which we love but would I be unreasonable to ask her not to bring him for a couple of weeks before Christmas. I really don't want DS picking up a bug or virus for Christmas.

He has had a few colds, nothing major and childminder has kept him of playgroup until he recovered.

Is he the only child with her or does she have several children? If the latter, I think I’m afraid you are being unreasonable because it won’t just affect him.

I beg your pardon?!

Unless he's the only child she looks after of course you can't!

If he’s the only toddler she has then yes it is perfectly reasonable to request this

If he is her only then you can have a conversation around viruses etc, if he is one of several then YABU.

He is the only child.

Agree if just yours then fine to ask, if others also there then no, you shouldn't as other parents may still want their child to go.

Substitute the word "take" for "bring" it might help

You can ask i suppose, but she isnt your employee, she can run her practice the way she sees fit

Probably best to isolate your child in a bubble for next month. Heaven forbid they get a cold.

You are being unreasonable.

*waits for the drip feed from OP

To be honest I think it's a bit of a cheeky ask, he's in her care so it's up to her how they spend the time. But an occasional cheeky ask is okay as long as you're usually a good customer.

He can (and probably will) catch viruses anywhere. Unless you’re going to keep him in a bubble until Christmas, you’re being ridiculous.

Think you need one of these…

YANBU.

But children get bugs from everywhere. Where can she take him to over the next few weeks if she cant take him there ? It's a fun time too and there will be a little party... Sorry but you are being unreasonable this won't make any difference.

Gently, I think you are being unreasonable. Playgroups in the run up to Christmas are lovely. There will be Christmas crafts and other treats throughout the month and probably a party on the last day. I'd also expect most playgroups to have broken up for the holidays by Friday 19 at the latest, so there will be almost a week if not more between his last visit and the big day. And he can catch bugs anywhere, including in his own home - it's a normal part of toddler-hood.

If he is the only child then I assume she has her own children, who will potentially bring bugs and viruses into the home from school or elsewhere. If not, won't your son be a bit isolated for four weeks if he's not allowed to play with any other kids?

Omg my 18 month old goes to nursery 3 times a week and a I take her to a toddler club on Mondays. I'm doooomed! 😒
Although tbh, I might not take her to soft play during the last week, as I feel that's where all the 'getting over an illness' kids end up when their parents want a break and school/nursery won't have them back yet!

I don't think you are being unreasonable. We had a nanny when our son was this age and asked the same thing, although I think only for one week before. However, we had him ourselves for a couple days before Christmas or something so probably from quite a bit before Christmas Day.

We were seeing elderly relatives over Christmas and it just seemed that we might as well be careful for that week before whilst we could. I think with a childminder it is slightly different, as she is not your employee, but if he is the only child she looks after I think it is a very reasonable request personally.

You could always offer to pay for him to do some other Christmas activities with her if these were lower risk of catching a virus ect. The issue I could see is that children are often easier to manage if you get them out and about, so she may prefer going to play groups, but I think for a week or so it is a reasonable request. He is very young, so anything about Christmas is exciting, it doesn't matter if he goes to a play group or not for that week. In later years you of course won't be able to do the same!

Agree with this. It is a fun time and he will be missing out.

What are you going to do once he starts nursery / school OP....?

If he's the only child she has then you can definitely ask.

If she's a childminder i.e. she runs her own business, then it's up to her whether she agrees or not. She might not want to spend two weeks at home with a toddler.

If what you actually mean is nanny, which it sounds like you might as he's the only child she has, and you employ her then you are free to tell her that you'd prefer DS to stay at home.

he is 15
monthd! I think this is a nanny situation. op Is not wrong at all. Makes sense to protect elderly fsmily
if possible.

Is it a childminder or a nanny? If a nanny, then you get more choice I feel in what you do. Bear in mind, though, that it can get really dull & lonely being at home with a toddler and your childminder might go to these activities as much for her own benefit as your DS’.
Are you also not going to socialise or take your toddler to any events or activities in the run up to Christmas?

As he’s the only child with her it doesn’t affect anyone else so it’s a reasonable thing to ask. I would only ask for a week before though I think, because there will be all sorts of fun going on in the weeks before that he will enjoy! A week before Christmas gives enough space to recover from any germs picked up but also a quiet week to rest before the excitement over Christmas.