To ask childminder not to bring DS to playgroup

[Mynumberone]

So we have a wonderful childminder, our DS is 15 months and started with childminder 5 months ago. Cannot fault her and DS loves her.

Childminder is great at bringing DS to playgroups which we love but would I be unreasonable to ask her not to bring him for a couple of weeks before Christmas. I really don't want DS picking up a bug or virus for Christmas.

He has had a few colds, nothing major and childminder has kept him of playgroup until he recovered.

As your child is her only attendee then I guess that makes it easier for you to politely ask what activities she has planned over the next few weeks and ask her to change.

However being nosy here, I would be more concerned that this childminder only has your child and no one else. Have some recently left and she hasn't managed to take on more? One of the school mums is an Ofsted registered childminder and is at full capacity with a wait list. Most other childminders are too. I would be concerned that as a childminder and not a nanny why they only have one child when it is actually quite difficult to manage financially?

surely you can ask her what you want?

She's a childminder not a nanny. I think this is rude. This is probably good entertainment for her and she will likely have paid membership!

I'd say considering she is still having your child when he is unwell which she can by all rights refuse to do, adding on top of that that they don't socialise for a month might be a bit of a piss take.

I think it would be ok to ask for the week before Christmas, but not longer than that. If he picks up a bug in early December he'll have recovered by Christmas anyway, so they'd be sitting around at home for no good reason.

Your DC will probably be thoroughly miserable. Everyone gets a cold/flu over Xmas at sometime in their lives. Is it really the worst thing? Yiu might as well wrap him
in a bubble , and yourselves. Sorry to be so blunt,

I imagine that your child goes to a childminder because you work and your OH works…….that said, how do you ensure that neither of you pick up any bugs, take them home and share them around amongst your little family unit? Unless you work in a sterile bubble where no one else is allowed to have access you just cannot isolate yourself from potentially picking up anything.

Your best course of action is to stay home and look after your own child.

Are you and DH also staying at home and isolating too? Not going to office or shops?

We've always done this, but only when we have them ourselves, we keep them out of playgroup/softplay, in the two weeks running up to an event.

It's worked for us really well and we've always managed to swerve illnesses around important occasions.. now she's at school it's a different story, but IMO it is not unreasonable to ask the question while you can avoid illnesses.

If yours is the only child she looks after I don't see why she'd have a problem with it.

The US usage of bring when they mean take is so confusing!

This is such a silly response, adults can mitigate the risks of picking up bugs etc, by practising good hygeine, washing hands, avoiding anyone who is clearly ill.. most people do this without even thinking about it, no big deal.

I've always joked that these playgroups are like a centre of disease, but it's true! All sorts of ill kids get sent to them, slobber and sneeze all over the toys (that never get washed usually!), always touching each other, eating their snacks together and playing in close proximity. Comparing the two things is just apples and oranges!

Since starting school my daughter has been ill for probably half the time she has been there, all her class has.. it's just something you have to accept with kids, being together and sharing toys and not knowing how to properly mitigate risks of becoming ill is the risk you take.

If OP doesn't have to take that risk, why would she volunteer for it?

They could be working from home.

As he’s the only child there then I think it’s ok to ask. Having said that, are you not going to take him into shops or anywhere where there will be other people?

I have said you are not being unreasonable- as he is the only child and I understand seeing vulnerable relatives on Christmas day (if this might be your situation too)- but I would limit the request to a week before Christmas. It's not great for her or his mental health to be stuck inside for longer really. A week is plenty. The run up to Christmas is usually a lovely time to be at the sessions and I'm sure it will help add to the magic for him!

I would be concerned that you are paying for a childminding service but have the expectations of them providing a nanny service - caring for your child when they are unwell and expecting to dictate their day.

Oh come on… anyone who has to spend all day looking after a toddler knows how hard work it is. Going to play groups or soft play provides a couple of hours of entertainment and running around and is a great way of filling some of the time. Totally unreasonable to expect your childminder to spend all day cooped up not going anywhere just so that you ‘might’ avoid your dc getting a cold.
It’s actually good and normal for the immune system to develop a bit of resilience to common colds, absolutely nuts to avoid going out for two whole weeks.

You can ask. She might say no. Playgroups are good for kids and it's normal for them to get the odd cold.
Unusual for a childminder to have only one mindee.

Your child can pick up a virus from absolutely anywhere- shops, parks, coffee shops etc.
Your childminder probably needs the adult interaction from these groups too.

He will miss out on all the fun Christmas activities they do at playgroups this time of year. Kids get ill. He could pick something up anywhere. Life can’t just stop.

If it's a term time only one, check your term dates. Here term finishes early this year on the 19th. He could go right up to the end of term, join in all the Christmassy things and still have a full week off before Christmas day to clear any bugs.

You can ask, but are you not going to TAKE him anywhere between now and Christmas either?

I don’t blame you OP. Far too many selfish bastards take their kids to playgroups when they’re ill.

I was at one recently where towards the end a mother announced she was exhausted as the child she had brung had been up all night vomiting! Needless to say ds caught it and it was horrendous. He didn’t eat for a week.

Another time when I was heavily pregnant I took ds1 to one where a kid had weeping fucking chickenpox. I had to get blood tests from the midwife as I’ve never had it myself.

Seeing as your ds is the only child shes minding there is no harm in asking. I have a holiday booked next month (first one in years) so I won’t be taking ds to playgroup for a few weeks prior.

I’m sick to death of people whining on that it’s good for their immune system to catch bugs and germs. My son was in hospital on oxygen and nebulisers last month after developing a chest infection which he most likely caught from playgroup.

Honestly this sounds super neurotic.

My thoughts exactly. When I worked as a Childminder I was always full capacity and had waiting lists. Concerning that she doesn’t.

Why does she only have one child? Going rate for a Childminder where I live is £6.50ph so she’s working for half minimum wage?! And all her running costs have to come out of that money too, thats not all in her pocket.

Iam sorry but as an ex childminder I would not agree to this, as I would have had other children in my care and who would want to go to playgroup and loved their playgroups. I would be inviting you to drop off your son after we had been to playgroup if you wanted him not to attend. But I would still have charged you full fees and he would be mixing with the other children anyway who had been at playgroups and been out and about with their families anyway when not with me. I would also not be agreeing to constantly miss playgroups due to him being poorly, my rule was too ill to go out too ill to come to mine.