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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I in the wrong to push in the queue ?

424 replies

crisikrinkles · 26/11/2025 10:00

Went into the post office in our town.
It’s always packed and they had two serving.
I needed currency and places never normally have it without ordering.
I needed it that day as we were travelling at night (last minute I know )
There was probably 20 people in front of me.
I didn’t want to wait in the queue incase I stood there and they didn’t have it anyway.
So I went to a counter and just said “before I queue can I just check you have this currency “
A woman barked “there’s a queue !”
I explained I wasn’t pushing in,I was just checking they had something before I got to the back of the queue.
She shouted “ no you wait to ask questions “

was i in the wrong ?

OP posts:
EvieBB · 07/12/2025 19:49

Zov · 29/11/2025 20:26

The irony of you telling people to be KIND, and COMPASSIONATE, and then having a pop at someone's spelling and grammar.

You couldn't make it up! 😖

Why isn't it kind to teach somebody something?
I'm not "having a pop"
You are projecting...!

EvieBB · 07/12/2025 19:55

MyObservations · 30/11/2025 18:19

If you don't mind me saying, it seems to me that you are missing the point. The impression I get (perhaps I've missed something) is that OP simply went to the front and ask the question of the post officer worker. There is no suggestion, that I could see, that OP spoke to anyone in the queue which, IMHO, is the rude bit. It's as though those in the queue just didn't matter. On the other hand, having the grace to speak to the next in line and just asking if they minded OP just asking a quick question would have demonstrated a degree of humility and regard for those queuing and, I can't help thinking, it would not have been a problem.

I do actually agree with you...I would also find it abit rude if OP simply asked the question of the post office worker without first checking with the person at the front of the queue if they minded .....etc....I think I presumed she did ask......and based my answer on that....but yes, I agree with your sentiment

EvieBB · 07/12/2025 20:02

Zov · 29/11/2025 20:26

The irony of you telling people to be KIND, and COMPASSIONATE, and then having a pop at someone's spelling and grammar.

You couldn't make it up! 😖

That's very black and white thinking...
People are multi-faceted.
I can be kind/understanding and allow a person to ask a quick question in a queue, but also get annoyed with poor spelling and grammar.
I wasn't unkind or 'having a pop'. I was pointing something out.
There's a difference.

HevenlyMeS · 07/12/2025 21:22

Yes I completely concur with you
Well commented Evie 💚🤗💚

Laurmolonlabe · 07/12/2025 23:19

You have to accept no one else accept you is interested in saving you 20 minutes, your poor planning meant you were short of time-that is no one else's problem but yours.

RhaenysRocks · 08/12/2025 06:53

@Laurmolonlabe and that is exactly what us wrong with the world now. The idea that we don't have to give a tiny shit about anyone else at all. The specific detail of this OP makes it clear she didn't actually inconvenience or delay anyone by more than maybe ten seconds but would have saved herself a twenty minute futile wait, which also wouldn't have benefitted or cost anyone anything. Why shouldn't we all just be a tiny bit more easy going and make everyone's lives a little easier?

MyObservations · 08/12/2025 07:52

RhaenysRocks · 08/12/2025 06:53

@Laurmolonlabe and that is exactly what us wrong with the world now. The idea that we don't have to give a tiny shit about anyone else at all. The specific detail of this OP makes it clear she didn't actually inconvenience or delay anyone by more than maybe ten seconds but would have saved herself a twenty minute futile wait, which also wouldn't have benefitted or cost anyone anything. Why shouldn't we all just be a tiny bit more easy going and make everyone's lives a little easier?

But the OP didn't know that at the time and, perhaps more importantly, neither did everyone else who had been waiting patiently in the queue. Had the OP simply had the courtesy to ask the person at the front, everything would have been fine I'm sure. On the other hand, OP acted in a way that demonstrated her issue was more important that everyone else's, sometimes know as "entitlement"!.

Laurmolonlabe · 08/12/2025 08:04

MyObservations · 08/12/2025 07:52

But the OP didn't know that at the time and, perhaps more importantly, neither did everyone else who had been waiting patiently in the queue. Had the OP simply had the courtesy to ask the person at the front, everything would have been fine I'm sure. On the other hand, OP acted in a way that demonstrated her issue was more important that everyone else's, sometimes know as "entitlement"!.

Letting people with a sense of entitlement have their own way is not being "easy going" it is making everyone else's life slower and more stressful.
Caring about other people involves being polite and waiting your turn- why does this not apply to the OP?
Her enquiry could have taken far longer than 20 seconds-if you allow someone to push in like that you are also riding roughshod over all the people in the queue behind you.

MyObservations · 08/12/2025 08:10

@Laurmolonlabe That's exactly my point, we're in absolute agreement. I think you'll find my comment was in response to @RhaenysRocks

Dancingsquirrels · 08/12/2025 08:11

Cantdothingsanymore · 26/11/2025 10:45

Surely you sbould say to the person at the front 'do you mind if I ask a really quick question before I queue as I am not sure they offer the service here that I need'. Then it's up to the lerson at the front to agree or not. And would have been more polite.

Yes I'd ask the person at the front of the queue before jumping in front of them

EvieBB · 08/12/2025 09:49

RhaenysRocks · 08/12/2025 06:53

@Laurmolonlabe and that is exactly what us wrong with the world now. The idea that we don't have to give a tiny shit about anyone else at all. The specific detail of this OP makes it clear she didn't actually inconvenience or delay anyone by more than maybe ten seconds but would have saved herself a twenty minute futile wait, which also wouldn't have benefitted or cost anyone anything. Why shouldn't we all just be a tiny bit more easy going and make everyone's lives a little easier?

Absolutely spot on.

RhaenysRocks · 08/12/2025 22:06

Laurmolonlabe · 08/12/2025 08:04

Letting people with a sense of entitlement have their own way is not being "easy going" it is making everyone else's life slower and more stressful.
Caring about other people involves being polite and waiting your turn- why does this not apply to the OP?
Her enquiry could have taken far longer than 20 seconds-if you allow someone to push in like that you are also riding roughshod over all the people in the queue behind you.

But it DIDNT take longer than a few seconds. She's said repeatedly that had the cashier gone to stop, get up, check etc she'd have said don't and also that it's likely, were that needed, the cashier wouldn't have done it. It's not entitled to exercise a tiny tiny bit of common sense and anyone who seriously minds or gets the hump because she didn't ask first has, in my view, not enough real problems to worry about. Every situation is different, another scenario might warrant waiting, but not this one. As another pp said, would you think someone who had collected their fast food order and realised the ketchup was missing should go and wait with cold food rather than just pop back? The effect on others customers would be similar to this one, but I doubt many people would mind.

Lavender14 · 08/12/2025 22:09

I think you should have waited op, if there were 20 people in front of you then 6 of them could have cleaned them out of the currency you were looking for anyway, so you had no guarantees until it was your turn anyway.

Laurmolonlabe · 08/12/2025 23:38

It is not commonsense- there is no way of telling how long the OP's inquiry would take- she most probably wanted a currency that is not Euros or Dollars- those would always be in stock- so most likely they would have to go to the safe to look through all the currency,that is not a few seconds, that could easily take 5 mins or more. The OP could not be sure it would be immediate, even telling the cashier not to bother is still holding people up. It simply is not acceptable jumping a queue to make an inquiry that may not able to be be immediately answered.
The OP admitted she was keen to push in because she had left getting currency to the very last minute-why should people be held up because of poor organisation on the OP's part?

eastegg · 08/12/2025 23:59

Laurmolonlabe · 08/12/2025 23:38

It is not commonsense- there is no way of telling how long the OP's inquiry would take- she most probably wanted a currency that is not Euros or Dollars- those would always be in stock- so most likely they would have to go to the safe to look through all the currency,that is not a few seconds, that could easily take 5 mins or more. The OP could not be sure it would be immediate, even telling the cashier not to bother is still holding people up. It simply is not acceptable jumping a queue to make an inquiry that may not able to be be immediately answered.
The OP admitted she was keen to push in because she had left getting currency to the very last minute-why should people be held up because of poor organisation on the OP's part?

But there is a way of telling how long it was going to take. By being the OP, and knowing that if the answer to the question wasn’t really quick, she would go to the back of the queue. And another way of telling is by being the cashier, and knowing that if the answer wasn’t really quick, they’d say sorry, I can’t break off serving this massive queue, you’ll have to wait.

And before anyone says ‘but the people in the queue didn’t know’, so what? They didn’t need to. They just needed to see if it took longer than a few seconds and if it didn’t, then maybe say something. But the complaining person jumped in straight away. They were rude, not the OP.

RhaenysRocks · 09/12/2025 06:54

Exactly. It makes absolutely no sense to stand in line for twenty minutes if there's a half decent chance it's pointless, and had six people in front asked for the same, the op would have heard it and made a decision then. The fact that the op had left it to the day before isn't really relevant...no-one wants to stand in a queue pointlessly at any time and she was prepared to wait, just not for nothing. That's not why she asked her question.

eastegg · 09/12/2025 07:57

Meant to say if it did take longer than a few seconds.

Laurmolonlabe · 09/12/2025 08:40

It was incredibly rude to push in , this is what is eroding the fabric of our society, you (and the OP) think that because you are in a rush (and didn't plan) everyone else should step aside for you- what if 5 people wanted to ask a question what if 10 did?, if you were at the front of the queue I'm sure you would be less easy going.
you are not the only person in the world who doesn't like queuing and you are not the only person who is in a rush,- going straight to the head of a queue to ask a question is pushing in- end of story.

MyObservations · 09/12/2025 11:03

eastegg · 08/12/2025 23:59

But there is a way of telling how long it was going to take. By being the OP, and knowing that if the answer to the question wasn’t really quick, she would go to the back of the queue. And another way of telling is by being the cashier, and knowing that if the answer wasn’t really quick, they’d say sorry, I can’t break off serving this massive queue, you’ll have to wait.

And before anyone says ‘but the people in the queue didn’t know’, so what? They didn’t need to. They just needed to see if it took longer than a few seconds and if it didn’t, then maybe say something. But the complaining person jumped in straight away. They were rude, not the OP.

You are so wrong on this. Everyone else in the queue may well have been waiting patiently for something that was only going to take a few seconds or maybe only wanting to ask a similar question. The simple fact is the OP had no idea what everyone else was queuing for and, as you sort of point out, she didn't need to know. The protocol is really straight forward and, not wishing to go to the back of the queue, the least OP should have done was to exercise a little courtesy and ask the person at the front if she could just ask a simple question. This really isn't rocket science, it's just common courtesy which, I guess, is no longer as commonplace as one might have hoped. The behaviour on show by OP was just "entitlement" in lights!

RhaenysRocks · 09/12/2025 11:15

Ok well, opinions are just that, not facts. I disagree with you and don't see the op as rude, entitled, arrogant or any of the other things she's been accused of. All this "what if" stuff is pointless and irrelevant because they didn't happen. Again, my opinion. I don't think we're likely to persuade one another. I just think everyone 's life would be a tiny bit easier if we could all just be a touch less rigid and unforgiving.

ldnmusic87 · 09/12/2025 11:23

You being in a hurry isn't anyone else's problem.

Mcoco · 09/12/2025 13:26

This thread has so many different opinions OP. But to save queuing to ask one simple question is not rude at all. Just a sensible decision many of us have done this and not given it a second thought!

RhaenysRocks · 09/12/2025 13:40

ldnmusic87 · 09/12/2025 11:23

You being in a hurry isn't anyone else's problem.

And she didn't cause them a problem by asking a question for literally seconds.

nomas · 09/12/2025 13:42

ldnmusic87 · 09/12/2025 11:23

You being in a hurry isn't anyone else's problem.

Anyone else not having the nous to ask a simple question before queuing is not OP’s problem
either.

The confident ones always irk people for some reason.

ldnmusic87 · 09/12/2025 13:43

Everyone thinks their request is seconds! But likely the person would have to stop serving their customer and find out.