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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my mum has fallen down a conspiracy rabbit hole and I can't get her out

422 replies

Coffeesoon · 25/11/2025 17:54

My mum has just sent me a video of Ant Middleton explaining how in 2027 the migrants / boat people who are seeking asylum and have already been made legal, will kick off and attack us all.
He says there will be a civil war, he knows because of army contacts and that we need to prepare.
What am I suppose to say to that?
She fully believes that an army is being formed and is constantly telling me or sending me videos about it.
I love my mum but since covid, which she thought wasn't real, she has been thinking the government is out to get us. We live in an area of increased immigrants and she absolutely hates them.
I've tried to talk to her but shes adamant and its really getting me down.

OP posts:
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7
HighlyUnusual · 26/11/2025 13:19

One in four women have been sexually assaulted or raped, that's what the ONS stats tell us.

I'm frightened by violent men, those waving England flags and frothing, and those who don't share our cultural values. I see all these men and I feel worried about all of them.

RedTagAlan · 26/11/2025 13:23

surreygirly · 26/11/2025 12:59

Too much BBC and Guardian

No idea what " too much BBC and Guardian" means sorry.

And double sorry, cos my post was aimed at who I quoted :-)

A reference to another thread.

But yeah. In context, "brainwashing" is a word used an awful lot by conspiracists. It can be a good indicator to identify one.

BedlingtonLint · 26/11/2025 14:12

RedTagAlan · 26/11/2025 13:23

No idea what " too much BBC and Guardian" means sorry.

And double sorry, cos my post was aimed at who I quoted :-)

A reference to another thread.

But yeah. In context, "brainwashing" is a word used an awful lot by conspiracists. It can be a good indicator to identify one.

Not really, I've been accused of being brainwashed by my fellow lefties because I don't agree with them on every single issue. I think the only people it's good at identifying are people who are so sure they're right that they're unwilling to consider what anyone else is saying.

Wearingmycrown · 26/11/2025 14:13

RedTagAlan · 26/11/2025 10:23

Yup. Wanting the opposition party to fail is an unfortunate feature of confrontational democratic systems. Likes of Farage and Trump play it well.

For Farage and Trump to get in, they need people to think things are really bad. So they try to do all they can to make things look bad.

While the UK government, Tories or Labour, are off doing negotiations to try to slow illegal immigration, for example by trying to get the message out " don't try to come to the UK illegally", Farage and the his ilk are out broadcasting " come to Britain, the doors are open and there is free 4 star hotels for all".

Same as Trump done. While Harris was in South America, doing radio interviews to say don't try and come, Trump and his pals at Fox were yelling " The doors are open".

Farage needs as many illegal folk as he can get, because his message is that only he can fix it.

He done the same at the EU. He yelled all the time about EU fisheries policy. So the EU put him on the fisheries committee, and he did not attend a single meeting.

Farage does not want to fix things. He is setting fires, while dangling his limp hosepipe, " Look here, see wot I got".

That makes no sense. Trump always said don’t come because if you do you’ll be out. He literally stopped illegal crossings within a week of taking office, your argument just doesn’t stand up to fact. The border is sealed tight & he’s deporting people daily. It’s no shock this has happened as he said it would do. The democrats were doing nothing to secure their borders & the facts support that, pleading with people not to come is idiocy & such a dumb policy that wreaks of weakness.

I don’t like Farage but the fact he’s possibly the influential politician we’ve had in recent times is the fault of the governments not the general population to keep voting the same people in & expecting a different outcome is lunacy. We need alternatives.

Wearingmycrown · 26/11/2025 14:30

Cluborange666 · 26/11/2025 09:50

Fears confirmed? What are you talking about? Farage caused a problem and it’s difficult to fix it. The Tories couldn’t, Labour are trying but not achieving much, Reform won’t be able to either, but they’ll tank the economy and ruin all our lives into the mix, particularly as women.
Asylum seekers aren’t even our biggest concern. The only people who are obsessed with it are the ones suckling on Farage/Putin’s teat by reading the Daily Heil and watched GB Lies.

There you go with the daily heil bs. Do you always result into the same tropes of making everything about racism? It’s so boring. As for G B lies, what about the BBC? Having to apologise & exposing bias. (If I was in the habit of calling things I disagree with a name like a child, I’d call it the state run propaganda machine. But that is futile & just pathetic). Labour are trying to fix what? Come on, unemployment, well I’m not an economist but putting a tax on the amount of people you do employ isn’t going to achieve that. How about taxing the super rich which we’re losing by the day. The highest number of wealthy people leaving the uk in a 2 year period. All those investors gone. You’ll pick up their tax bill eventually so don’t worry about that. As for us women, Labour can’t even define one. Has Labour even delivered one pledge? They’ve done everything they promised they wouldn’t & yet i suppose I’ll be viewed by you as bigot or facist because i dare not believe the lies of left.

RedTagAlan · 26/11/2025 14:36

Wearingmycrown · 26/11/2025 14:13

That makes no sense. Trump always said don’t come because if you do you’ll be out. He literally stopped illegal crossings within a week of taking office, your argument just doesn’t stand up to fact. The border is sealed tight & he’s deporting people daily. It’s no shock this has happened as he said it would do. The democrats were doing nothing to secure their borders & the facts support that, pleading with people not to come is idiocy & such a dumb policy that wreaks of weakness.

I don’t like Farage but the fact he’s possibly the influential politician we’ve had in recent times is the fault of the governments not the general population to keep voting the same people in & expecting a different outcome is lunacy. We need alternatives.

But what was Trump saying when Biden was in the house ?

That's what I mean.

Of course, when he got in, he claimed the border were closed.

And Farage, he yells open borders when the tories or labour are are at the helm, but if he gets in, then he will say all closed.

It's also why they feed the likes of " the great replacement theory with dog whistles. They feed the conspiracies.

Recall Trump during Bidens term. When he sabotaged a bill targeting immigration. Trump wanted the glory. He wanted Bidens numbers to be bad for his re-election campaign. Link here:

You can probably guess why Trump is dead set against the border bill - ABC News (go.com)

You can probably guess why Trump is dead set against the border bill

Biden is looking to boost his dismal approval ratings on immigration.

https://abcnews.go.com/538/democrats-pushing-hard-border-bill/story?id=106908843

estrogone · 26/11/2025 14:50

Ravenslea · 26/11/2025 12:33

Nah @Birthdaysocks is right. The fact that you blankety call people who come here illegally refugees is proving her point. And ironic in a way

How do we know some of these refugees aren’t the perpetrators of conflicts? We do not know who these people are.

And putting forward a slightly different view. I’m the child of a 1st gen migrant. I’m sick of hearing the horrifying stories coming from my country and others in the region. By allowing any Tom, Dick and Harry here, we’re denying the people who truly deserve to be here a chance at life and would be so grateful to be here

The judges and the members of the public who defend criminals even when they show us who they are!

I’m so sick of the suicidal empathy.

Edited

Your post is a good example why words and facts matter.

People keep mixing up “refugee,” “asylum seeker,” “immigrant,” and “illegal immigrant” as if they’re all the same thing, and that confusion is exactly what drags these debates into panic territory.

A refugee is someone who has already been assessed and recognised as needing protection.
An asylum seeker is someone asking for that protection whose claim hasn’t been decided yet.
An immigrant is someone who moves by choice for work, study, or family.
An “illegal” or irregular migrant is someone who enters or stays without the required visa — but seeking asylum, even by irregular entry, is not illegal under international law.

When people roll these categories into one blob — “they’re all just immigrants” or “they’re all illegal” — it muddies the waters. It erases the legal distinctions and hands an easy platform to politicians like Trump and Farage who rely on that confusion to paint everyone with the worst possible brush.

And the same goes for the “boatloads of young men coming to prey on white women” trope that gets thrown around. Yes, a lot of asylum seekers are men — because in many conflict zones they’re the first ones targeted for forced recruitment, imprisonment, or execution. Families often send one member ahead; it’s not a conspiracy, it’s survival. Crime data doesn’t show refugees as more dangerous than locals, and the idea that men arriving from conflict zones come here with sexual motives is an old recycled panic narrative used historically against almost every migrant group: Irish, Italians, Jews, Asians, Eastern Europeans, and now Middle Eastern and African men.

If the real concern is safety, then have a conversation about policing, sentencing, prevention, and community integration — not vague fears attached to broad categories of people most of us have never met.

Clear language doesn’t solve every issue, but it stops the debate being driven by fear and slogans. If we want a grown-up discussion about borders, safety, and fairness, step one is using the right words and ditching the myths that keep being repeated as if they’re facts.

Wearingmycrown · 26/11/2025 15:33

estrogone · 26/11/2025 14:50

Your post is a good example why words and facts matter.

People keep mixing up “refugee,” “asylum seeker,” “immigrant,” and “illegal immigrant” as if they’re all the same thing, and that confusion is exactly what drags these debates into panic territory.

A refugee is someone who has already been assessed and recognised as needing protection.
An asylum seeker is someone asking for that protection whose claim hasn’t been decided yet.
An immigrant is someone who moves by choice for work, study, or family.
An “illegal” or irregular migrant is someone who enters or stays without the required visa — but seeking asylum, even by irregular entry, is not illegal under international law.

When people roll these categories into one blob — “they’re all just immigrants” or “they’re all illegal” — it muddies the waters. It erases the legal distinctions and hands an easy platform to politicians like Trump and Farage who rely on that confusion to paint everyone with the worst possible brush.

And the same goes for the “boatloads of young men coming to prey on white women” trope that gets thrown around. Yes, a lot of asylum seekers are men — because in many conflict zones they’re the first ones targeted for forced recruitment, imprisonment, or execution. Families often send one member ahead; it’s not a conspiracy, it’s survival. Crime data doesn’t show refugees as more dangerous than locals, and the idea that men arriving from conflict zones come here with sexual motives is an old recycled panic narrative used historically against almost every migrant group: Irish, Italians, Jews, Asians, Eastern Europeans, and now Middle Eastern and African men.

If the real concern is safety, then have a conversation about policing, sentencing, prevention, and community integration — not vague fears attached to broad categories of people most of us have never met.

Clear language doesn’t solve every issue, but it stops the debate being driven by fear and slogans. If we want a grown-up discussion about borders, safety, and fairness, step one is using the right words and ditching the myths that keep being repeated as if they’re facts.

They aren’t illegal if you’re travelling directly from a war torn country. They come here via France so anyone coming here not directly from a war torn country is indeed an illegal immigrant. They have the right to claim asylum in the first safe country they enter.

Birthdaysocks · 26/11/2025 15:36

Clear language will fix everything?

We have 200 languages spoken by 14 million immigrants (estimates very, no-one actually knows how many people are in Britain)

Clear language? Not a hope in hells chance ever. That ship has sailed.

estrogone · 26/11/2025 15:45

Birthdaysocks · 26/11/2025 15:36

Clear language will fix everything?

We have 200 languages spoken by 14 million immigrants (estimates very, no-one actually knows how many people are in Britain)

Clear language? Not a hope in hells chance ever. That ship has sailed.

Did you read what I wrote?

I said clear language WON'T fix everything. The comment was in relation to this and other debates about the subject.

Wearingmycrown · 26/11/2025 15:47

RedTagAlan · 26/11/2025 14:36

But what was Trump saying when Biden was in the house ?

That's what I mean.

Of course, when he got in, he claimed the border were closed.

And Farage, he yells open borders when the tories or labour are are at the helm, but if he gets in, then he will say all closed.

It's also why they feed the likes of " the great replacement theory with dog whistles. They feed the conspiracies.

Recall Trump during Bidens term. When he sabotaged a bill targeting immigration. Trump wanted the glory. He wanted Bidens numbers to be bad for his re-election campaign. Link here:

You can probably guess why Trump is dead set against the border bill - ABC News (go.com)

Trump was the opposition. He held no power over the decisions Biden made other than that of public opinion. Biden did have the borders wide open. It wasn’t a secret that trump exposed it was widely known that the Mexican border was weak. Same with here. People can see the change in demographics & culture in our city centres. We aren’t blind or stupid. Farage isn’t acting like a tourist board for illegal migrants. He categorically says he doesn’t want them here. It’s not exactly rolling out the red carpet & encouraging them over with promsies of unlimited free housing and food. Which is exactly what past governments have promised with their actions. I think having a robust opposition pointing out the flaws in how our country is run is paramount to its success. To think they should shut up because they’re advertising how easy it is makes zero sense. They already know. You know who didn’t know. Us. We didn’t, we didn’t know the extent it was happening & the perks in which they receive. They get access to dentists which by all accounts is quite the luxury nowadays to most hardworking tax payers

estrogone · 26/11/2025 15:48

Wearingmycrown · 26/11/2025 15:33

They aren’t illegal if you’re travelling directly from a war torn country. They come here via France so anyone coming here not directly from a war torn country is indeed an illegal immigrant. They have the right to claim asylum in the first safe country they enter.

Oh come on. You are splitting hairs.

The original point of origin is the country they are escaping. They would need to travel across territories to get away. That's like saying ALL Ukrainian people who are refugees can only seek asylum from their direct neighbour countries.

Don't be obtuse.

Wearingmycrown · 26/11/2025 15:54

estrogone · 26/11/2025 15:48

Oh come on. You are splitting hairs.

The original point of origin is the country they are escaping. They would need to travel across territories to get away. That's like saying ALL Ukrainian people who are refugees can only seek asylum from their direct neighbour countries.

Don't be obtuse.

No they came here legally under fhe refugee act. im not splitting hairs. I’m stating facts. The reason we have this problem is because we’re not interpreting the law as it’s meant to be. We need more hair splitting. I also said the first safe country. They need not travel the length & breadth of Europe to make sure they’re safe.

RedTagAlan · 26/11/2025 15:59

Wearingmycrown · 26/11/2025 15:47

Trump was the opposition. He held no power over the decisions Biden made other than that of public opinion. Biden did have the borders wide open. It wasn’t a secret that trump exposed it was widely known that the Mexican border was weak. Same with here. People can see the change in demographics & culture in our city centres. We aren’t blind or stupid. Farage isn’t acting like a tourist board for illegal migrants. He categorically says he doesn’t want them here. It’s not exactly rolling out the red carpet & encouraging them over with promsies of unlimited free housing and food. Which is exactly what past governments have promised with their actions. I think having a robust opposition pointing out the flaws in how our country is run is paramount to its success. To think they should shut up because they’re advertising how easy it is makes zero sense. They already know. You know who didn’t know. Us. We didn’t, we didn’t know the extent it was happening & the perks in which they receive. They get access to dentists which by all accounts is quite the luxury nowadays to most hardworking tax payers

Except the borders were not wide open in the US.

It took Trump moths to overtake Bidens monthly number of deportations. It was not until he got ICE working at full pace.

And yes, Trump torpedoed the bi-partisan border bill by threatening to have GOP congressman primaried, using his MAGA power.

Redpeach · 26/11/2025 15:59

Birthdaysocks · 25/11/2025 23:05

So this really is misinformation isn't it? You have posted this with snark but no analysis.

We all know, even the people that produce that site page, that the boats can't launch in high wind and big seas.

So what exactly are you saying? Are you deliberately polarising the issue by posting misleading statistics?

I will say it again, whatever you think about mass migration, for or against, it's led to half the country hating the other half and vice versa, in a way I have never seen before in my life, and as the numbers are increasing this is only going to get worse.

I wouldn't take talk of civil war too lightly, I've already lived through one war on these shores, it's not as far fetched as you think.

I'm not sure which half i fit into as i am not hating on anyone, could it be made up you think?

estrogone · 26/11/2025 16:04

Wearingmycrown · 26/11/2025 15:54

No they came here legally under fhe refugee act. im not splitting hairs. I’m stating facts. The reason we have this problem is because we’re not interpreting the law as it’s meant to be. We need more hair splitting. I also said the first safe country. They need not travel the length & breadth of Europe to make sure they’re safe.

Ah. What you mean is NIMBY.

Perhaps people go where they might know a person or the language is slightly easier.

Britain isn't that attractive. It's feral. It is the last place I would choose to flee to (I am born and bred English) and far HARDER than other countries. These marauders aren't invading to rape our women, they may just know a bloke from back home and choose a pathetic modicum of familiarity.

Your argument makes no sense.

Wearingmycrown · 26/11/2025 17:20

RedTagAlan · 26/11/2025 15:59

Except the borders were not wide open in the US.

It took Trump moths to overtake Bidens monthly number of deportations. It was not until he got ICE working at full pace.

And yes, Trump torpedoed the bi-partisan border bill by threatening to have GOP congressman primaried, using his MAGA power.

it took him a week to stop the influx coming over the border. He did it so quickly you have to ask why it hadn’t been done sooner. Hence the conspiracy theories given legitimacy

Timelineuk · 26/11/2025 17:34

RapunzelHadExtensions · 25/11/2025 18:59

Does she know he served time for beating up a female cop? What a patriot.

My mums the same but the other way, massive lefty, convinced the trump shooting was fake, everyone is thick and racist now, constantly getting into pointless arguments with racists on Facebook. You have my sympathy.

Here here we have a rightie who fell down the rabbit hole of Trump epsteins best mate was really shot

Mlddleoftheroad · 26/11/2025 17:44

Birthdaysocks · 26/11/2025 10:56

I'm not conflating the two, you are. The grooming gangs aren't refugees.

Your ramped up hysteria over your own conflation shows who you are, to use your rather ridiculous phrase.

Clearly I've misunderstood your posts which appear to have been centred around boat people invading the UK as an army of fighting aged men when you meant men already in the UK. I still think using the trauma of those affected is abhorrent.

Apologies for giving desperate people the correct title.

Your useless of the word hysteria to try to diminish speaks volumes.

JustSawJohnny · 26/11/2025 17:54

hihelenhi · 25/11/2025 22:48

It's true, but those of us who have been "educated" are also, the evidence suggests, not above such brainwashing and propaganda efforts. In fact, we are MORE likely to find ourselves inducted into cults than the general population. Why? Precisely because we assume we are 'too intelligent' to be silly enough to be caught up in cults We assume that our 'questioning' has better answers and solutions than found by mere uneducated masses. We assume we are more enlightened than the average, and that assumption makes us MORE susceptible to gaslighting.

So I think people should be VERY careful with that assumption, as there is plenty of evidence that refutes it. A university education is no guarantee that you are miraculously immune to propaganda; I get why people think it should be, but the opposite is very often the case.

And yet pretty much everyone I know from my hometown who is flying flags and painting roundabouts are very much uneducated and lower working class but here in my sleepy little rural village full of middle class people with white collar jobs and degrees it's all pretty liberal.

I doubt very much there are many degrees to rub together at these Stop The Boats rallies!

Arran2024 · 26/11/2025 17:55

My brother in law is up on all the new conspiracy theories - so new no one else knows about them. He is coming over for a pre Christmas family lunch for the extended family and he asked if I am doing anything besides turkey - turns out he has some conspiracy theory about turkey and cranberry sauce and won't be touching it!

Redpeach · 26/11/2025 18:05

Arran2024 · 26/11/2025 17:55

My brother in law is up on all the new conspiracy theories - so new no one else knows about them. He is coming over for a pre Christmas family lunch for the extended family and he asked if I am doing anything besides turkey - turns out he has some conspiracy theory about turkey and cranberry sauce and won't be touching it!

I hope you'll tell him its gobbledy gook 🦃

wrongthinker · 26/11/2025 18:11

estrogone · 26/11/2025 16:04

Ah. What you mean is NIMBY.

Perhaps people go where they might know a person or the language is slightly easier.

Britain isn't that attractive. It's feral. It is the last place I would choose to flee to (I am born and bred English) and far HARDER than other countries. These marauders aren't invading to rape our women, they may just know a bloke from back home and choose a pathetic modicum of familiarity.

Your argument makes no sense.

Of course Britain is attractive! You get over here, you get put up in a lovely room, you get fed, you're given money, you're given a phone, you can work (illegally, but no problem if you know a bloke who knows a bloke) and as long as you say you're gay, you'll never get kicked out. You can be a criminal, a rapist, an Islamist, whatever - no one's checking. You can ditch your family and come to another country where you get given everything and you don't even have to learn the language.

I'm sorry, but comments like yours sound so laughably naive to me. Have you ever been to a poor country? Britain is like a paradise compared to the places these men are coming from. It's wild to say that Britain's not that great. It makes you sound incredibly privileged.

wrongthinker · 26/11/2025 18:15

JustSawJohnny · 26/11/2025 17:54

And yet pretty much everyone I know from my hometown who is flying flags and painting roundabouts are very much uneducated and lower working class but here in my sleepy little rural village full of middle class people with white collar jobs and degrees it's all pretty liberal.

I doubt very much there are many degrees to rub together at these Stop The Boats rallies!

Jesus wept.

Your little village sounds lovely. And it also sounds like there's no danger of 600 undocumented immigrants from some of the most misogynist, violent, and uneducated populations in the world descending on your lovely little village and turning it into a shithole.

So you can sit in your lovely little house with your lovely neighbours and slag off all the people whose own lovely little neighbourhoods have been turned into terrifying shitholes. Sounds like a jolly wheeze.

WithIcePlease · 26/11/2025 18:23

@wrongthinker 💯 with bells on
Sounds lovely. Maybe as I said in my earlier post, depending on people live they have no bloody clue at all.

Many people walk round your lovely little village gobbing on the pavements @JustSawJohnny? Thought not 🙄🙄

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