People older than 35; did your dad go to school parent’s evenings?

[Farrings]

I asked my parents to look after our daughters for an hour (they’re primary age) so DH and I could both go to parents evening.

Both kids are at the same school so it’s no bother, and we care equally about their education, so we both want to go.

My dad (born 1943) asked ‘What’s parents evening?!’ He denied any knowledge of the concept, and said he’d never been to one. He has 3 kids who were all in school in the 90’s/early 2000’s.

To be fair, I’m not sure my mum went to many either… they’re not great with supporting formal education…but I was still surprised to hear my Dad say he didn’t even know what one was!

Then I thought, was this normal for the time maybe?

if you’re over 35, please vote -

YANBU - ‘My dad didn’t go to parents evenings either, (or maybe like, one time)!’

YABU - My dad DID GO! Or a few times anyway!

(Obviously whether or not Mum’s went is a whole other question, I will have to save that for another vote)

P.S This is Just for fun! X

He was born in 1939

Yes, some of them. I’m 45 so in school in the 80s and 90s.

My dad definitely would have come to some of my parents evenings and he was definitely at all the assemblies, awards ceremonies, that sort of thing.

But I come from a very aspirational family background. My parents were both poor to working class growing up. My dad was very poor living in tenements. They were very socially mobile and I grew up fairly middle class (private school, a pony, nice holidays).

He would have come because he was quite smug about the life he’d managed to create (well, that my mum with her good job managed to create!). It would have been like coming to inspect the ploughing that your farm workers had done at the end of the day. He was pleased I was in such a posh school and he sort of liked to swan around it. 😂 I don’t think he really understood any of it, but he would have liked the praise and the atmosphere.

He wasn’t a good parent, but he hugely valued education and did everything he could to make sure we all received a good education, he would attend any and all school events if he wasn’t working, not just parents evening.

My Dad did but he left school at 11 to work and education for us was important to him.

My dad was also born in 1943, and never went to one.

Nope- he was actually predominantly the homework parent but mum went to all of them

Absolutely, my parents both went to all of them for all three of us. Doubt it was ever a question they would both go.

My Dad was born in 1940 and I think he may have gone to some (or one of the) primary school ones? Definitely not secondary. Although he worked shifts and was a fitter in a factory so I wouldn't be suprised if he couldn't make them. Obvs my Mum went to them all.

Gosh, I’m not much older than that but I really don’t remember.

Don't think my Dad ever went to parents evening. He worked shifts 1pm - 9pm usually so my Mum did literally everything after school, for years.

Yes, my 1940 dad went to parents evenings. It was more culturally expected of dads than mums.

Yep! In the 80s and he'd take out a pen and write notes on the back of his cheque book which he always carried with him. He'd then come home and go through it in much detail. Youd see him looking back on it for weeks until it was time for a new cheque book. Conversley my husband almost never goes to parents evening.

Nope, not as a general rule. Dad worked, mum didn’t. She did everything else including parents evenings and omg I look back and wonder how she managed with no money and not driving either. TBF she didn’t go to parents evening every time.

The one event I do remember my dad coming to was to look round my secondary school when I started - probably due to self interest as it was his school when he was younger and he wanted to see it. They did also both come to see the sixth form at another school that I joined for A Levels - that really stands out actually - I can’t remember another time like that where my parents were really supportive of educational choices. I went to universities by myself and even travelled up alone on my first day with all my stuff. The only time they came was for my graduation.

Dad wasn’t really around much from when I turned 11 as he had an affair for years then left when I was 21 and siblings were 16 and 19. So it wasn’t just parents evenings tbf - he was fairly absent generally!

DH and I go to everything! I work the less flexible job so he goes to the things I can’t make.

My dad didn't, but my grandad did. I lived with my grandparents from just after I started school so not sure how to vote 😂

Unlikely he went to his children's ones as he was military then so away a lot.

He and Nana both went to our parents nights as they were desperate to show they cared and weee engaged (and genuinely were) in case we were removed from them and put in care

My daughters are 35 and 36, even though me and their dad separated (then later divorced) when they were 10 and 11 we still went to parents evening together right up to year 11.

Our primary school didn't have them... parents were "invited" to talk to the teacher if there were issues. Not entirely sure my parents set foot in my infant or primary schools other than for the nativity plays.

Secondary school, my parents were "getting a divorce" for 5 years of it, which meant "get on with school, we don't want to know". So no, my dad never went. (Mum neither)

Parents both worked shifts, but at least one and probably both would have attended - education was a high priority in our family and my dad was a pretty involved dad for the time (I'm 47).
DH and I have both been to most of our kids' parents evenings - getting babysitters when they were younger. We have twins, so there have been a few at secondary where it just isn't logistically possible for us both to attend everything for everyone, but we do our best. (I'm self-employed, and DH is senior enough at work to set his own hours provided he gets stuff done, so it's relatively easy for us.)

Yes - 90's Secondary school - every one - both parents although I can remember one that was just Dad which I assume is because Mum was working that evening.
At primary etc I remember they were during the day/early afternoon after school and that would just be Mum. Dad was very involved but didnt ever take a day off work to attend any daytime meetings/performances etc.

Both parents born in the early 60's and both said their parents never went to them!

My father never went to my school for any reason. He was just not that interested in my education. My mother went up once when the school offered a bursury for me to got on holiday to France (father turned it down because he saw it as charity)

The only person who ever came to activities was my grandmother. She came every year to the music and drama festivals and to school prize giving. She also accompanied me to my first interview which was the custom then. I was still 15 and wore my school uniform (with lisle stockings instead of ankle socks). Employers then liked to see a parent or gaurdian.

Well to be fair when I was 10 he ran off with another woman, but still came to them all!

Never - but my mum only went to one when I was at secondary! I was a very academic, well-behaved student and she said "I get reports twice a year, I look at your books regularly and so I don't need to waste their time being told the things I already know." I was fine with this.

I'm 36 and both my parents always went to parents evening. My education was a bit complex though.

I was born in 1955 and my Dad was born in 1925. He always went to parents' evenings. I don't think there were as many then.

My mum went to parents evenings alone from what I can remember. I left secondary school in 2007.

He went to parents evenings and was also very active in the PTA (both schools). Same age as your dad.