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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People older than 35; did your dad go to school parent’s evenings?

438 replies

Farrings · 25/11/2025 14:14

I asked my parents to look after our daughters for an hour (they’re primary age) so DH and I could both go to parents evening.

Both kids are at the same school so it’s no bother, and we care equally about their education, so we both want to go.

My dad (born 1943) asked ‘What’s parents evening?!’ He denied any knowledge of the concept, and said he’d never been to one. He has 3 kids who were all in school in the 90’s/early 2000’s.

To be fair, I’m not sure my mum went to many either… they’re not great with supporting formal education…but I was still surprised to hear my Dad say he didn’t even know what one was!

Then I thought, was this normal for the time maybe?

if you’re over 35, please vote -

YANBU - ‘My dad didn’t go to parents evenings either, (or maybe like, one time)!’

YABU - My dad DID GO! Or a few times anyway!

(Obviously whether or not Mum’s went is a whole other question, I will have to save that for another vote)

P.S This is Just for fun! X

OP posts:
CarterBeatsTheDevil · 26/11/2025 07:55

My dad was self employed and went to parents evenings with my mum whenever he wasn't working. He was also born in 1943. I cannot begin to imagine how your dad could say he wasn't aware that parents evenings existed.

Clearinguptheclutter · 26/11/2025 08:01

yes definitely although in later years he was working away so probably missed a few

he was previously a teacher and would have spent many hours sat on the other side of the table

he took a lot of interest in my education, more than my dm

Needlenardlenoo · 26/11/2025 08:19

I don't think he ever went, no. I don't think he'd pretend not to know what they were, though. I think your dad's having you on, OP!

rwalker · 26/11/2025 08:19

No but he did also work shifts
that said my mum only went to the occasional one
move been to the majority of my kids and hand on heart most of them were a complete waste of time

SeaBaseAlpha · 26/11/2025 09:31

Yes, I remember my dad and mum always going to my parent's evenings. My dad (born 1947 for context) was a commuter into London so I don't ever remember him attending a Christmas concert, sports day, or anything like that, but he was always at the parent's evening.

ETA.. however, for a lot of my education I was at an independent school, so I suspect as well as wanting to support my education my dad wanted to make sure he was getting his money's worth!

Imfat · 26/11/2025 09:55

As far as I remember neither mum or dad went to my parents evening.
They went to older brothers as it was at the grammar school.
Also to younger brother as he was a nightmare.

Goditsmemargaret · 26/11/2025 09:59

I'm surprised to remember that he did go. Not primary but secondary especially after my parents split up.

RyanFudgingMurphy · 26/11/2025 10:19

My Dad went with my mum to our village primary and our comp in the nearest town.

FelicityPasta · 26/11/2025 10:24

I was at school in the 1970s and 80s and my Dad definitely went to my parents’ evenings

PorridgeAndSyrup · 26/11/2025 11:07

My parents were divorced, (my mum divorced him for being a “useless lazy bastard”), he lived an hour and a half’s drive away from us, but he still came to every single parents’ evening! (This was in the 90s and early 2000s.)

Abzs · 26/11/2025 11:15

My dad did all the parents' evenings. He'd go straight from his work commute, as there wouldn't have been time for him to come home and swap over or both go etc.

Howmanycatsistoomany · 26/11/2025 11:59

Can't remember for primary school but probably not. Neither parent went to high school parents nights until my last year but that was only because one of my classmates had told her mum (who worked with my mum) how horrible one of our teachers was to me so they felt obliged to go and speak to the teacher (who'd been fucking horrible to me for years by that point and my parents hadn't given a shiny shit and all they did was make things worse).

celticprincess · 26/11/2025 22:57

I don’t actually remember. My dad is no longer alive but I could ask my mum. Having a parent who was also a teacher I’m thinking that my mum just went to the parents evenings on her own but I could be wrong.

As an ex teacher who has done my fair share of parents evenings as a teacher it’s bit of a mix who comes. Often depends on working patterns. With my own kids I would try to to get my now ex to come and be mostly did I less his work shifts were preventing him when the kids were at primary. Secondary has been more hit and miss but all parents evenings have been virtual since they started secondary. The online system can be tricky trying to get a second parent connected from a different device. He often thinks they’re a waste of time anyway - his words.

PyongyangKipperbang · 26/11/2025 23:50

I answered above that my dad did if he could but I was talking a friend today who is a teacher and I asked her. She said it is a mix, pretty 50/50 due to work etc. So if Dad takes time off for the older kids one, Mum does it for the younger one.

But she also said that in her opinion the parents who make the effort go are the ones that dont really need to, in that there are no major issues that need addressing just get the usual "S/he is doing fine, at the expected standard, keep doing what you are doing and choose [my subject] for GCSE!" Whereas the parents who's kids really could do with some parental involvement and support are the ones that dont bother their arses to go, proving why the kids need help in the first place.

Distracteddistraction · 27/11/2025 10:59

My dad went to pretty much all of them. I think one clashed with parents evening at the school he taught at once. But apart from that he was always there.

sequinpanties · 27/11/2025 11:03

Not often as he worked shifts and had two jobs an extra one driving taxis when there were three day weeks.

IamMaz · 27/11/2025 11:07

I am now 69 but remember parents evenings.
My late dad was never able to come to any of mine as he was in the fire brigade and needed to be on call. My late mother worked as a caretaker at a school and was always working early evenings.
However, my son is now 33 and I remember his parents evenings at senior school. We had to book the appointments with all his different teachers and it was like speed dating!!!! 5 minutes and your time was up!

123becauseicouldntthinkofone · 27/11/2025 11:25

yes, there was myself and sibling, i was the good one and sibling was naughty so they used to swap who was seeing which kids teacher every year 😂

CatLady476 · 27/11/2025 14:50

No, never went - wouldn't have occurred to him. My parents are together but parenting was definitely "Mum's job." Looking back, he had very little interest in his DC, so may be unrepresentative of that generation. It's sad really.

Member984815 · 27/11/2025 15:35

IamMaz · 27/11/2025 11:07

I am now 69 but remember parents evenings.
My late dad was never able to come to any of mine as he was in the fire brigade and needed to be on call. My late mother worked as a caretaker at a school and was always working early evenings.
However, my son is now 33 and I remember his parents evenings at senior school. We had to book the appointments with all his different teachers and it was like speed dating!!!! 5 minutes and your time was up!

My dcs are like this now but no booking appointments, starts after school and usually takes me 2hrs with the queuing for some teachers , get the low down and move on . Some parents separate to go to different teachers to try and get through quicker .

SquigglePigs · 27/11/2025 15:40

I'm in my early 40's and my Dad was born in the mid-50's. He came to every parents evening, primary and secondary, when I was growing up. He also came to nativities, shows etc.

SantiagoShaming · 27/11/2025 15:43

I’m in my 40s. Mine was born in 1958 and never went to a parents’ evening. He definitely wouldn’t have been able to name my teachers. If you asked him what GCSEs or A Levels I did, he wouldn’t have a clue.

“That’s your mother’s domain.”

Muffsies · 27/11/2025 15:49

Absolutely, yes. My dad was probably a bit different from the other 80's dads though.

He had always wanted to be a primary school teacher, but he didn't quite get the grades and had to take a job as an accountancy apprentice to avoid national service (his dad had died and he needed to be earning). So he ended up with a pretty good career in accountancy, but had always wanted to teach. He always read us 5 kids our bedtime stories and got involved with our school work, as well as going to every parents' evening.

After he retired he volunteered at the local primary giving extra reading and writing lessons to kids who were struggling. He did this from age 55 to 82. After he died the school named their library after him.

Member984815 · 27/11/2025 16:07

Muffsies · 27/11/2025 15:49

Absolutely, yes. My dad was probably a bit different from the other 80's dads though.

He had always wanted to be a primary school teacher, but he didn't quite get the grades and had to take a job as an accountancy apprentice to avoid national service (his dad had died and he needed to be earning). So he ended up with a pretty good career in accountancy, but had always wanted to teach. He always read us 5 kids our bedtime stories and got involved with our school work, as well as going to every parents' evening.

After he retired he volunteered at the local primary giving extra reading and writing lessons to kids who were struggling. He did this from age 55 to 82. After he died the school named their library after him.

He sounds like an amazing man and father, sorry for your loss

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 27/11/2025 16:10

I’m mid 40s and my dad almost always went to parents evenings, yes. My husband has been to every single one and our kids are now mid/late teens.