MIL never buys presents for grand kids. To not want to buy for her this year?

[snowhunny]

So we have 2 DC under 4 and my MIL has never bought them anything.
Not when they were born, nothing for birthdays or Christmas's .

These are her only grandchildren as OH is the only sibling with kids.
The kids see her every 2 weeks as well.

I always buy her something from the kids for her birthday and for Christmas.
It was one of the DC birthday last week and he didn't even get a birthday card when she saw DC.

AIBU to not want to buy her Xmas and birthday presents?
I know Xmas is about giving but she dosent really make an effort.

Even when the kids have been born we have had to take them to see her.

She really is not a nice person, gifts or not. I’d have the bare minimum to do with her.

Is step dad still on the scene?

Yes step dad is still on the scene, he just stays in his room when we visit.

I don't think she is overly nice, I find her quite cold and distant, OH puts her on a pedestal.

Is she being controlled by stepdad?

I actually really feel for your DH. The fact that the step "dad" can't even be arsed to show his face when you visit speaks volumes.
There are far deeper issues here than Christmas gifts obviously, that's the tip of a very big iceberg.
You are doing the right thing by stepping back. Hopefully DH will see the light one day, although I can imagine this will be difficult. My DH had incredibly complex issues with his parents and has been NC with both of them for years (FIL died a while ago). It really took a toll on him and took him a long time to work through it all after going NC. Glad to say he is a much happier man these days.

Sounds like not buying unnecessary tat is normal in her world. It doesn’t make her wrong, just different to you.

I think as she sees the children every couple of weeks doesn’t mean she’s not interested in them. She just doesn’t see the point in wasting money on pointless stuff.

Do you know if she’s putting aside money in savings for them?

But happy to take gifts?

op don’t give the miserly women anything.

But she only sees them because OP takes them round.

Does she put any money into a savings account for them instead ? I would just send her cards from now on if she doesn’t. I love buying gifts for my grandchildren and think that she sounds like a strange person.