Big fall out - who is (most) in the wrong?

[Dibrew]

I would welcome opinions on this situation which is currently playing out.

Person A is a masseuse, working part time evenings out of a leisure centre attached to a secondary school.

Person A told Person B that she had terminated a session with the male partner of Person C. Person A doesn’t know Person C, but she knows Person B is friends with them.

Person B tells Person C of what was said by Person A. The session was terminated due to him offering money towards the end of this for sexual services.

Person C’s partner strongly denies this. Person C accuses Person A of breaking data protection rules and says Person B is attempting to shit stir.

I never see the point of hudung names, we dont know anyone involved. I cant follow the letters

"Person A told Person B that she had terminated a session with the male partner of Person C. Person A doesn’t know Person C, but she knows Person B is friends with them."

You see this is why I lean towards A telling B to pass on the message. OP didnt mention that A told a friend for support or to warn her and she just so happens to be a friend of C. She said person A told Person B who she knows is acquainted with Person C. That last part seems to be key to why she told her. Op didnt even describe Person A and B as friends.

My ranking (most in the wrong to least):

1. Person C’s Partner: needs reporting to the police
2. Person B: shit stirrer
3. Person C: lashing out but expected
4. Person A: understandable, minor professional indiscretion

Wow - the most exciting thing in my life and my friends is an Amazon delivery!! I’m obviously moving in the wrong circles!

Surprised how many people seem to think a masseuse should be fine/used to being sexually propositioned at work; and to deal with it “professionally”. Buying a massage doesn’t buy you the right to do what you like! If it wouldn’t be acceptable to ask the cashier at Tesco to do it at the end of your shop, it’s no more acceptable to ask a lady at the leisure centre. And you shouldn’t expect her to keep quiet if you harass her that way.

I think if person A was trying to warn either Person B, privately or professionally (is Person B also a masseuse?!), or to pass on as a warning to Person C, then fine.

Either way, Person C’s partner is a sleazebag and there should be no “data protection” to stop people from warning each other about him.

This should be turned into a question on University Challenge 🤣

Is the answer ‘4 apples’?

Everyone is wrong!

Sleezy man most of all.

A shouldn't have said anything. It is a confidentiality breach. It's most likely prohibited and covered under employee contract or guidelines. She also csn't prove it. I'm not saying that's fair but it's fact.

B is a shit stirred without any supporting evidence or proof so she's wrong too.

C is also wrong as she appears to be shooting the messenger.

C's boyfriend will now most likely complian to the service provider re confidentiality and "false allegations".

A may find herself unemployed or a disciplinary.

Fairness doesn't come into this one unfortunately.

If person A told B as a bit of gossip, then A is in the wrong (as well as C's partner obviously). However if A needed support from their friend (B) or wanted to warn person C that their partner was going around offering money for sexual services I can understand why they did it. As others have said though, I would expect them to have a firm process in place for handling sleazy clients.

Is C more annoyed with A for telling than with their partner?

I can't imagine many would believe C's partner's story.

Just to add as so many people seem to think Person A should be quiet because of “professionalism”, if Person C’s partner had become involuntarily aroused during his massage, then she should keep quiet and not mention this (not his fault, a common physical reaction). But he sexually harassed her, and there is no “professional etiquette” requiring women to keep quiet about this.

The memory of a verbal conversation is not 'data'. Person A is not obliged by law to use her memories only for the purpose intended, store them correctly and dispose of them after 6 years. If we want to present her telling person B about this in legal terms 'disclosing sexual harassment' would be more appropriate.

It’s safer that way.

Yay, on this weeks edition another disgusting man shows his true colours whilst 3 women look to blame each other.

Also this kind of thing doesn’t fall under GDPR.

The only thing she might be in breach of is any professional standards re: confidentially. But usually, those kinds of standards make exceptions where there could be a legal basis for breaching confidentiality.

She certainly wouldn’t be exposed legally.

Depends if person B is a mate or a client in my opinion. Perfectly acceptable to tell your mate that someone sexually propositioned you at work.
Person B if a mate has strange motives for telling person C. If not to shit stir then what?
Sleezy man wins prize for biggest AH
Feel sad for person C.

I think there is professional procedure for making complaints about things that happen at work.

Imagine I worked at an office and Colin from Accounts sexually harassed me, it wouldnt be appropriate for me to tell Sue from the pub because I know she went to 6th form with Colin's bird, Tracy. Especially if I know Sue will tell Tracy.

What would be appropriate is to tell my manager/HR.

A was wrong and unprofessional. She also put B in a difficult position where B had a loyalty to C and decided the right thing to do is tell her. Obviously Cs partner is an idiot but that's presuming A is telling the truth. I'd put my money she is but she still shouldn't have told anyone about this. Except maybe a colleague or someone in the industry who she could trust.

That's got to be a lie, hasn't it?

100% this

Surely person C doesn’t believe this? The creep would have been better off flat out denying it!

Thing is, this sort of thing could happen to any one of us regardless of the circles we move in. The most boring person could secretly be asking for a happy ending when they go for a massage.

Person A shouldn’t have said anything to B.

A will no longer be able to trust B.

I feel sorry for C. People gossiping about her and her husband/partner is a seedy sex pest.

I never give massages to Amazon delivery men.

For all we know, Person B is Person A’s HR rep. In which case, Person B may have acted unprofessionally by telling her friend. But also, I might do the same thing depending on my relationship with this friend.

I’m not going to assume a woman disclosing sexual harassment should have kept her mouth shut as a default without knowing the rest of the ins and outs of it.