Flying as an unaccompanied minor at age 7

[CrispyClo]

I’m posting on behalf of my sister as she is looking for some external views on the matter.

My niece is 7, birthday was in August. She started a new school in September, which closes for Christmas a week earlier than most state schools. There don’t seem to be a lot of options for childcare during that week as not many schools here close that early so there aren’t any holiday camps.
My sister has booked my niece onto a week long camp abroad for the week. The camp is well reviewed and offers a pick up service for children flying as an unaccompanied minor. My sister initially felt this was a good idea, and booked it.
Now she is having some concerns and is unsure it’s the right choice, mainly as she appreciates 7 is quite young and while the flight isn’t particularly long, they don’t actually have someone sat with them, just cabin crew checking in. She has admitted herself she was fine with it until other people seemed to think it was a reckless parenting choice. I think it will be fine, my sister and I flew as unaccompanied minors often as our dad lived abroad, we were a bit older (maybe 10 the first time) but managed it fine.

AIBU to think my niece will be fine? She’s looking forward to the camp and doesn’t seem phased by the thought of it.

Utter balderdash
thousands of UMs from all social strata fly every day in Europe - hundreds to/from the UK alone
All with no issues (except encouraging independence and self-reliance in the children, which is clearly unacceptable to some posting here)

I think parenting is just different nowadays and kids aren’t given too much leeway. I wouldn’t have sent my 7 year old on a holiday camp for a week. But I think in reality she’ll probably be fine- airport staff will move her around and staff on the plane will check on her. If she’s comfortable with it, she’s got a phone for contact when she lands and I’d AirTag her anyway.

I flew from England to India unaccompanied aged 7, 6 times a year. I was a boarder. A taxi took me to Heathrow, British Airways stewardess picked me up and put me on the plane. There were two plane changes in those days and the flight took 14 hours.
Not ideal, but perfectly doable if you have to.

The flight wouldn't concern me....but I don't think my DC would have been OK in a foreign country for a week by themselves. My DD struggled with PGL aged 9!

My ex boarded from 7, he was the life and soul, everyone's friend, confident, sociable. Except he wasn't, he was very damaged and had a drug problem.

I have a son who turns 7 this week he is confident and able to speak up. I wouldn't put him on a plane alone as no one else wants to hear his constant chatter, and I wouldn't send him abroad for a week alone. All her friends will be home doing lovely Christmassy family things and she's shipped off. A nanny is the solution .
So she has her family outside of normal school hours as she would usually.

Culturally Switzerland is very different, children walk to school alone from a very young age. That isn't the culture your niece is growing up in and I'm not sure, having a swiss part of the family, it produces very warm connected individuals

I think it’s a cultural thing. Once you said it was Swissair it fell into place. I understand things are very different there, we know a Swiss family living in a small town on a lake and kids walk to school from 5/6 alone and lead generally a very idyllic and independent existence. It’s small and safe or generally always has been. So this thread is pointless because most people are UK based and from English speaking countries where we have never had this mindset, which is why the accusations of neglect and madness are flying around!

@cobrakaieaglefang
We are suggesting a nanny if a trusted adult/ family members aren't available.

A short term, last minute nanny will probably come via agency who will have at the very least CRB checks and multiple references from other families they have been placed with

This doesn’t mean it’s a good thing or something that should be done to children. My DH was sent to boarding school at 9 and regularly travelled as an unaccompanied minor and if I’d realised how much he’d been damaged by that I‘d not have married him and hitched my life to his as I have to live with and work around how it impacts us. The psychological damage is not obvious unless you’re close - which obviously his parents weren’t 🙄 so they’d no idea and justified it to themselves anyway as a ‘what else could we do and the service exists so it must be ok’

Children say what they know parents want to hear.

Poor, poor kid. Pillar to post parenting.

Surely it depends on the child?

If she is excited to go then no problem.

Unaccompanied minors are handed over, they are not left alone in the airport at any time.

If there is more than one on a flight they will be sat together and usually airlines don't seat men next to them.

The OP suggests both that this child hasn’t flown unaccompanied before (she talks about her and her sister having done it, but not the child) and that this is the first time staying away at a camp for a week away from parents. It’s not ‘drama’ to suggest that doing both these things for the first time, together, when just 7 is barmy. To do them because the parents are seemingly unable to find any other alternative, which appears to be the primary motivation rather than say the child saying they want to go, doesn’t appear to be great parenting.

I could have written this post myself. My DH also boarded from 9 and my kids and I continue to pick up the pieces. He continues to tell his parents what they want to hear but admits to me in private that he was bullied and hated it.

OP, boarding schools for 7yr olds are a terrible idea.

Imagine some mean older kids getting stuck into your DN for the week…

My husband went to boarding school at 7 and was frankly traumatised by it. He tells tales of muffled sobbing after lights out , in the days of dormitory style beds .

Why not just do something like PGL in this country?

I think it can be a cultural thing. DH is French and was sent back to France as an unaccompanied minor to go to holiday camp aged 8. My DS is 8 and I wouldn’t do it but he has been on school trips overnight, cub camps etc.

I sympathise as DS finishes mid December so we are having to use a holiday club at a local private school a 25 minute drive away that does 9-5 so DH and I are going to have to fixture out office days around drop off and pick up. But it’s a week and our bosses are generally understanding.

I have seen disruption (a diversion) ending up with an unscheduled night stop with several UMs onboard..I know they remained escorted overnight but can't remember how room sharing, supervision etc was organised.

Hi Op , can her mum not fly with her to the camp if she wants to offload her child for the week?

Does your sister not read? child sexual abuse is my worst nightmare, and nights away from parents is when they are MOST vulnerable, not to mention being with STRANGERS, in a foreign COUNTRY! Crazy.

• 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
• 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18.

This sounds very much like the mind set of a very privileged upper class family. The type who send their kids to boarding school at five.

It’s one thing to have family they are familiar with waiting for them at the other end but for the entire trip to be all strangers, no. I take it this child is just going to get handed over at the airport to a stranger holding up a sign with the camp name on it?

My son went on a week long residential here in England at about the same age, but he was with his classmates and teachers.

Doesn’t make it ok. Seven is way too young to be sent off with strangers. Brownie camp or a school residential is different because they are with people you and the child know. But to complete strangers? Absolutely not.

But at a school or scout camp, children are with friends and familiar adults. There are plenty of people on this thread who think that's ok.

The op's situation is completely different: sending a 7 year old to a camp in another country where she won't know any of the other children or any of the adults.

It's not balderdash, we would be taking about it. We are talking about it!

It's not the traveling, though for me the risk of airport delays these days would make that a no unless seen onto the plane by someone she knows. It's sending a child the message that you don't want her home, and instead sending her physically into a group of complete strangers who she has to be with 24/7.

In my view, and believe me I am no fluffy bunny regarding kids doing stuff on their own, this is asking too much of a 7 year old. And I firmly believe that if somebody poor in the UK was suggesting doing the equivalent, there would be murmurs of Social Services.

I very much doubt PGL do week long breaks for 7 year olds just before Christmas!

BA scrapped their UM scheme quite a while back (due costs)...haven't heard of it being reinstated.

I feel sorry for your sister who probably has no choice in this due to work pressures. So difficult trying to balance everything. My colleague’s son used to fly unaccompanied from age 5 as his Dad lived abroad. That was all fine. I hope your sister can figure something out.

The flying part doesn’t bother me too much, it’s the going to camp where she won’t have a parent to settle her in, explain things to her etc, after a long flight. I feel it’s all too much for a seven year old to cope with.

My siblings all went away to school at 7/8 - my brother had to catch the boat train to reach his and it all totally fucked him up, my sisters’ school was kinder and they survived fairly unscathed (by the time it was my turn my father had semi realised that it was quite nice having a child at home).

On thing sending them to a camp where the parent isn’t too far away, quite another a plane ride away.