Mounjaro people, advice please

[OrangeKettle]

Posting for traffic.

Just been asked if I’m pregnant. Partner is against Mounjaro because of potential side effects and luckily tells me I’m perfect. But I’m not. I’m 4 stone overweight. I was trying to lose weight by walking, cutting down crap etc. but being perimenopausal isn’t helping.

I am surrounded by success stories of mounjaro.

I think I’m going to do it. I’d rather not tell partner. I do feel ashamed. Will I be able eat “normally” in terms of meals, when I’ll be with him?

You can tell him you've decided that you are going on a diet (high protein, lower carb) and stick to that when you are with him and not tell him you are getting support in sticking to said diet with MJ
But I'd be asking myself about a relationship where the other person didn't respect my decisions about my health tbh

It’s noticeable I think, the nausea in the early days and the inability to finish a meal is really noticeable. Maybe start having smaller portions in preparation?

what side effects is he worrying about? There are lots of health risks of being obese and I think the side effects are less bad than that.

these days I don’t think people would realise I’m on mj as I have few side effects if any and totally have smaller portions than I would have done so can finish them (and choose healthier food to boot).

Partner is entitled to choose not to take Mounjaro himself, but gets no say in what medication you take.

Stand up for yourself woman! Or is he a dreadful bully? In which case get rid.

No, you won’t be able to eat “normally” in front of him. You will feel full after much less food than your usual portions.

Thank you for the responses so far. He’s the kindest, calmest, most supportive man I’ve ever met. I will tell him, I’m just ashamed of myself.

I’ve been on a low dose of mounjaro for 5 months and have lost 2.5 stone
My partner would be very unsupportive of doing it this way so have not told them
I am eating smaller portions and healthier food plus not drinking as much - but not in a way that would scream WLI just trying to diet generally which partner supports

You will be able to eat, mostly, but much smaller portions

constipation is a thing, drink water like your life depends on it.

tell your partner

it may cost more, but start off at least with a service that provides health coaching, it’s invaluable when you start.

most people don’t experience dangerous side effects

the daily mail is full of shit, the media is full of shit.

make sure you go into this knowing you have to make sustainable changes, you have to exercise to keep muscle loss in check, it gets. Lot easier in a few weeks, stick with it.

All these people hiding Mounjaro....

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Thanks. What dose are you on?

Side effects are really variable. I was lucky enough to have none. Really it just made it easy for me to eat normally but just less. I never stopped enjoying my food either. I'm sure many people suspect now that I'm 8.5 stone down but my medical information is mine and mine alone. That said close family know and are nothing but supportive.

I’d dump your partner if you don’t have autonomy over your health decisions.

You feel ashamed? Does he encourage you to feel that way?

I'm ashamed I’ve let myself get like this. And that I can’t seem to lose it.

Would you feel ashamed if you had Diabetes? Or cancer? Obesity is a disease.

Well if you intend to eat the same as you already do, "normally" it won't work. It's that normal that's made you 4 stone over weight.
He will probably notice because you will and should be eating far smaller portions. You will probably be a bit averse to wine and chocolate, you aren't going to snack.
All these things are noticeable.
Having said that, my husband believed for months that the pens in the fridge were because the cat had diabetes . He isn't very observant .

Have you seen the bitchy shit doled out on MN?

Life happens.

There's no perfect person out there.

Would you be ashamed of taking antibiotics to help get over a chest infection, when you could have prevented that infection by living life differently? No.

So if you need medicine to shift weight... Doesn't make you a bad person or a failure or anything.

What would you say to your friend who came and said they were thinking of using Mounjaro... would you say " you should be ashamed of yourself!" I'm guessing not, so why are you speaking that way to yourself?

Start by signing up for a gym membership, eat more protein and vegetables. Ask your dh to support you- maybe go together? People have been able to lose weight without Mounjaro but it will mean breaking bad habits which is difficult but possible. Especially if you get your dh on board. Good luck!

I wouldn’t hide it from my partner. Symptom wise I didn’t have any sickness or anything, but when it came to eating I could only manage tiny portions.

@OrangeKettle 5mg

Eat less move more has a ridiculously low success rate. Overweight people are not stupid and have heard go the the gym/eat less calories/carbs/whatever a million times. Personally I lost the same few stone again and again and again doing all that. Queen of willpower, me. Never enough though. Mounjaro fixed something in me. Let make the same choices slim friends make with the same ease. Now at a healthy BMI and feel amazing.

OP, please check out the WLI boards on Mumsnet. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of about taking action to improve your health. The risk of serious side effects is minimal, and almost everyone finds their sweet spot with dosing to get to a point where everyday side effects are also minimal.

I remember feeling deep shame and embarrassment. I now don’t feel like that, I needed help and I’m sure I wouldn’t have got the weight off without the help.

I can’t say it is all sunshine and roses. My bmi is now 21 and I want to tell everyone that actually I’m secretly an obese person hiding in a slim body. I often feel a total fraud when people comment on it or notice. I’ve recently had surgery and was described by staff as “tiny” and in my head I’m still a size 16-18 not an 8.

im still taking mj 15 months on and I’m terrified of coming off. I’ve got the hard work of working out how to maintain and get the habits to stick and to come down the doses. Potentially not to come off, but to reduce.

I would do it again in a heartbeat. It’s a tool and you’ve got to fix what got you here (the meds will fix the insulin resistance and hormones, but not all the other stuff).

Stay on the lowest dose you can for as long as you can.

Hasn’t been noticeable particularly. I am eating the same as when I am on a diet- healthy and smaller portions. The only difference is it’s easy to do! I’m on 2.5mg and not had any side effects. I’ve only told my husband , but none of my friends or colleagues have noticed and I’ve been out for meals. It’s the best thing I’ve done, I wish I’d done it sooner !

I haven't told my partner. At the start, I thought it might be yet another failed diet fad, and I wanted the option not to have to share yet another faddy failure. I was also ashamed of my weight, even to the point that I couldn't tell my partner of 20+ years what I weighed. He thought I was just a bit cuddlier. I was heading towards morbidly obese, high cholesterol, and would wake him up with my sleep apnoea snoring several nights a week.

I took my first dose when he was away on a work trip so that I had some space to deal with side effects. Luckily, I've never really had any except for very low appetite. I've been constantly trying to lose weight for about a decade so the idea of sometimes having less on my plate isn't new.

If I had a time machine, would I have told him? I don't know. I've been hiding away my medication for over a year now, and I really dislike having this secret. But I still don't think he would understand.

The risk of the side effects of mj are lower than risks due to being obese.

I’m not on it but two of my friends were so I feel like I’ve been on their journey with them. They thought it was a magic wand to curb their appetite. They both lost weight quickly and went up the doses but kept eating and drinking the same crap they always had, and didn’t exercise. They’ve both stopped now due to nausea, really bad constipation (for weeks) and the cost. They’ve put the weight back on.
Whereas a lady at work has been on it a year, eats well, goes to the gym and has lost 4 stone and kept it off.
If you use it to help you make sustainable changes, it can be really helpful. My BMI isn’t high enough to be eligible but I wish this was around after I had my DC’s as it took two years to shift the weight by going to the gym and eating well.