To think kindness without truth is manipulation?

[CandidMercyFinch]

Sometimes “being nice” is just people-pleasing with a halo. AIBU to think honesty is the higher form of compassion?

Yes there's a phrase about radical empathy which is truth with kindness and compassion. Which is what you want from proper friends

In most cases yes.

There are some exceptions. Children, not telling people with dementia that their husband is dead and forcing them to go through the first stage of grief over and over again, etc.

But by and large for mentally stable adults, yes, agree.

Surely it depends on circumstances and motivation? Eg if you’re at a party with a friend and that friend tells you they were a bit self conscious in their outfit because they thought it was too drab/too short/made them look old/young/fat etc and you in your head agree, is it manipulation to tell them they look lovely because you know telling them you agree means they’ll not enjoy the party and can’t do anything about the outfit so by being kind they can enjoy themselves and not worry what other people think? I don’t think it’s better in those circumstances to tell the truth!

Or maybe you would prefer to hear that you look like shit & I’d be a bad friend for not telling you that?

Truth without compassion is cruelty and compassion without truth is manipulation.

You know, I can spot your posts now just from the title alone. Less goady today?

Here we go again. We've not had one of these for a couple of days and I'd lulled myself into a false hope that they'd stopped. Have we not suffered enough?