Am I unreasonable to stop my mum helping me with driving the kids to school

[Kpiallo]

Am I unreasonable to stop my mum helping me with driving the kids to school?

A couple of mornings when she has come round to pick up some of my kids to drop them at school, whilst I take one to nursery, I have smelt alcohol on her. I do think she has a drinking problem, she doesn’t think so.

I smelt it this morning and said I appreciate her help I desperately need it, but I can’t let her drive my kids when I can smell alcohol on her like that.

She says she wouldn’t be over the limit if she was tested, but I’m thinking if I can smell it it her then surely that would be over the limit.

AIBU?

My dad once cancelled a table at a restaurant and refused to go to dinner with me because I asked him not to drink for one meal. It is denial, the person acts as though it’s a personal attack because they associate their identity with drinking. It is easier to do that than accept that they have a problem

This will be better for you in the long run. She's an alcoholic who lies. The consequences don't bear thinking about. Christmas might be cancelled for her, but you and your family can have a better time without her.

You are doing the right thing. If she’s really is “only” drinking in the evening before, she’s must be having a lot each night to still smell of alcohol the next morning.

What I would do is tell her that the next time she drives to my house with alcohol on her breath I will report her to the police.

But I would report her anyway. Today.

This just confirms that she’s an alcoholic who puts alcohol higher than her family so she absolutely cannot be trusted

Well thats punishment manipulation via ultimatum. Shows you that you were absolutely on point to say something.

Don't back track..

She does not have to be over the limit to be in a situation where I would definitely not allow her driving my children
ANY drink ... especially in the morning would have me very firmly taking her off the school rota.

Let her

she’s manipulating you due to you calling her out

Tell her you love her and want to help but she can't be allowed to drive you or your children. The woman needs help

Ok just say for instance I had a couple of beers the night before but somehow i dunno spilled one on myself so i smelt of it (for arguments sake) and then my children asked me not to take my grandchildren to school. I would be mortified, apolgetic, offer explanations and no doubt everything would be ok. I would NOT be getting angry and cancelling Christmas. You already have suspicions around her behaviour and things otherwise you may not have even noticed the smell or could have explained it away easily. Funny, my mother did the same, but then decided to "forgive" us and turned up, then got drunk and ruined it for everyone.... that was our fault too though apparently.

Let her bask in her shame (that’s what it is).
She has been choosing alcohol over the safety of your kids/her grandchildren. Bye bye.