Another childcare rant - how do people do it?!

[SMLSML]

If you and your partner both work how do you manage childcare? My eldest started school in September and prior to this we had wraparound care in nursery. We now use after school club, however this is committee led and we've just had an email saying it's at risk of closure due to not enough volunteers. If you don't use after school club how do families make it work? Do grandparents help 5 days a week? Honestly sick of this country not helping working parents 🫠 the irony of parents needing to be on the committee to keep it open when you're already busy working and juggling a million other school bits and pieces is hilarious to me also 😅 it's something I'd love to be part of but have no idea how if find time... Any and all advice welcome!

By not using school as childcare? It's for education, not babysitting.

Really? That's a new one on me 🙄

Honestly 😅 if it wasn't clear my post was asking how you manage outside of school times...

@SMLSML you asked about pre-Covid – my DC were in primary a long tiem pre-Covid, and neither of us wfh at the time tho I guess that would be arguable now with the jobs we did.

We planned ahead to make sure our employer (it was the same employer) was happy for us to flex our hours – they wanted to keep us both and it was more than reasonable anyway.

It sounds difficult for you – do you have only one DC? If so, bear in mind that it is only for a few years. What do other parents do? Is there any capacity for you or DH to go part-time working schoolish hours – 9-3 with no lunch break five days a week is 30 hours a week?

We are living preciously as well as my eldest is at a school with no wrap around care, dh works shifts and currently my parents pick up the slack when dh is on shift but they are getting on years so not sure if this can be a long term arrangement. I am thinking when my youngest starts school I become self employment, my pension might take a dive but I don't feel I will have much choice if there is no change to the status quo.

Honestly, dad works days and I work evenings so we don’t use childcare at all, although school has a breakfast and tea club that seem fairly popular. There are also a couple of childminders that drop off and pick up at the school too.

i would say is it worth sucking up the inconvenience of a few hours meeting for the committee to get the onsite wrap around care for your daughter ? Might be the lesser of any other evils in terms of stress of finding a new school you are happy with or alternative childcare. That may take as much time as you would be sat in meetings for the childcare especially if travel time to a new school was factored in.

If there are enough parents needing wrap around care, perhaps the parents and school can work together to identify a business that can run on-site after school care. Where I am the wrap around care is all provided at the school by businesses that are separate from the school but have a contract to use the school hall and the playground to run things out of. Mostly it’s one adult and some older teenagers that provide the care. The same place also provides holiday programmes. I’m just wondering if there would be someone looking for an opportunity to start their own business. There’s no way that the parents that use the service here would have the time for multiple meetings to organise things!

I’ve never understood people who don’t contemplate this and formulate a plan before TTC.

Live on one income, work opposite shifts, save in advance to pay for childminders, hire an au pair, etc etc.

Complaining that fellow citizens don’t pay even more of their hard earned wages in taxes to provide even more services to a select cohort is not very admirable. Parenthood is voluntary, not mandatory.

Why on earth shouldn’t it be down to parents to sort? Who else?

Not sure if we are talking apples/apples here, or apples/oranges, but at one school my kids went to the before/after school care was run by a sub-committee of the school P&C/PTA (whatever you want to call it). While run by the sub-committee, who were parent volunteers, it was run professionally, had the required accreditation, paid staff members with requisite qualifications (not volunteers). The sub-committee outsourced payment of wages, HR issues to an external company. The whole point of it was that it was not for profit, to keep costs as low as possible for parents. If the sub-committee didn’t exist or didn’t have enough necessary people, President, treasurer, secretary etc then it would have had to fold, OR an external for profit corporation would have had to take over, thus increasing fees even more than the already hefty fees with not for profit.

Yes, parents work, yes, parents are busy, but as the old saying goes ‘if you need something done, give it to a busy person’.

Pay for it!

Me and dh work at the same company. I go in to work earlier d he does the drip offs, this allows me to leave earlier and do the pick ups whilst DH works later.

I had 3 kids and no-one to help as no family locally. I used after school clubs or childminder who picked up. Mine have grown up now, but I am sympathetic to the parents in my team and allow them to take a late lunch to collect kids and then do another hour whilst kids watch TV etc. I didn’t have that luxury and it was tough.

In the holidays we used a mix of holiday clubs and parents taking AL. After ex and I split he largely worked overseas so was all on me and it was not easy. Shame your school is thinking of closing the ASC as it’s easier if they just stay at school. I was picking up from 2 places for a few years which was a pain, but you could walk between them.

Which costs are you seeing? I charge £15 for mine. Includes food. It cannot be cheaper than that and for 3 hours childcare that’s a bargain!

reading your posts, you / your husband need to join the committe. Yes it’s a pain, but if its once a month that’s fine. You’re not a single parent who can’t get childcare for an evening meeting. Don’t complain if it closes when you or your husband weren’t prepared to step up. It all parents volunteer it will stay open. I’d much rather volunteer and keep the club going than have the hassle of trying to find something else (along with all the other parents).

If you don’t volunteer then you can’t complain. You chose this kind of set up which relies on parents volunteering a little of their time once a month or so.

One day after school, I work part time so off two full days and one afternoon and DH has juggled his hours to start earlier on my days off and finish early on the other day I work. We feel exhausted with it all but can't see a better solution (we have another child in nursery on my working days).

We juggle a lot, argue over whose turn it is to beg for employer’s humanity or forgiveness. It’s all exhausting. As in properly exhausting. Lotto win and would be thanking work and leaving. Feck sending your child into school sick as you’ve no options (lowest point)

It's great to see flexibility in the workplace. I think that's the way it should be and will be once the old fashioned folk retire. The 9-5 has gone.

Childminder if you can find one. Otherwise you have to move your working hours to stagger them with your partner, so someone does start of day and someone does end of day.

You also need to work out who will be the primary ‘go get the kid because they threw up’ partner.

We couldn't manage. I quit my job and became a SAHM. My work could have easily agreed to letting me work different hours, but they were cunts. We need a law to make it far more difficult for employers to refuse flexible working requests.

I am all for voluntary-led activity but an after-school club run by parent volunteers who de facto need after-school support sounds very tricky to run. Both practically (they are presumably at work!) and in terms of DBS checks and so on. I would direct my efforts to turning it into a paid but not profit-making exercise.

We don't use wrap around care and we don't have any family nearby so we flex our hours.

DH compresses he doesn't work one day a week but longer hours the other four. I work around school, so 5-7am, during school and then after bedtimes and into the weekends to make up the hours. In my work colleagues without children regularly work 50-80 hours so I have to replicate that to keep up. The sacrifice is I have progressed more slowly at work (but getting there) and I never have any time for relaxing (I haven't watched TV in a decade without working at the same time), but we've been to every school event and DC see us all the time.

Could you manage the committee if it met in the evening/on zoom/on the weekend? If so, put your name forward with whatever stipulation on time works.

We changed our hours which we were very lucky to be able to do. I start once I get home from school drop off and DH starts early to finish at 3.

I went part time for 15 years. Both me and ex have chosen jobs in a sector that offer flexibility with hours. Sharing a bit of after school support with other parents here and there.

I'm lucky my DC were rarely ill so our employers never really got narked at us leaving early for pick up or arriving late after drop off because we hardly ever left them in the lurch and always arranged cover etc.