Another childcare rant - how do people do it?!

[SMLSML]

If you and your partner both work how do you manage childcare? My eldest started school in September and prior to this we had wraparound care in nursery. We now use after school club, however this is committee led and we've just had an email saying it's at risk of closure due to not enough volunteers. If you don't use after school club how do families make it work? Do grandparents help 5 days a week? Honestly sick of this country not helping working parents 🫠 the irony of parents needing to be on the committee to keep it open when you're already busy working and juggling a million other school bits and pieces is hilarious to me also 😅 it's something I'd love to be part of but have no idea how if find time... Any and all advice welcome!

I became a SAHM and we were very broke. Second hand clothes and toys for the children. Holidays spent visiting grandparents. Then, when the mortgage rate on our 3 bed terrace went up to 15% and ate up 75% of husbands take home pay, leaving us about £200 per month for a family of four to live on, I became a child minder to bring in a little extra and prevent us losing the house. Selling the house wasn’t a viable financial option as we were in negative equity having bought when we moved back from abroad just before house prices tanked. Oh joy!

But what do you do when there is no provision available?

I suppose this is the downside to choosing a small village school. I'm not really sure why you can't join the committee, if you're so dependent upon the club you need to make the time. Perhaps when on the committee, you could work towards a solution so that the committee isn't needed.

My friend's village school doesn't (Wiltshire village). It is really small; under 50 children. The school community is high earning DHs and SAHMs or mums who do what my friend does and run their own small business in school hours. The ones who need childcare can afford a nanny.

As for us, I went part-time when DS was 1 working 9-2.30 4 days a week. I have recently changed jobs to 9-1 every weekday. DH does morning drops as he WFH.

It really is not easy; even with those hours we do still need breakfast and after school club as both DH and I are sometimes away with work and he leaves at 6am once a fortnight!

Regarding funding, all that's happened locally is that the per-hour funding isn't enough for nurseries so our old one has nearly doubled the prices of the hours people pay for, stopped providing food and added a supposedly voluntary surcharge.

Yeah this is what I mean, it’s interesting how different the school communities are. My SIL is struggling as they live rurally mostly farming families with a parent at home so no provision around them. One of the schools in our town is very different but has nothing, it’s in a very deprived area and trying to put it as delicately as possible not many of the parents are working traditional 9-5 hours.

What did you plan?

You have to plan ahead and pick a school and place to live that has options.

What do other parents do, OP? You can't be the only family needing wraparound care who don't have family support.

I am not sure why people are castigating OP for not planning? The school they selected does have an after school club which she is using.

We use a childminder before and after school?

And what if the situation changes like the OP’s where the club closed? That happened a lot after Covid, the rise of WFH saw many people reduce their usage of after school clubs and as they’re usually businesses many of them were not viable anymore and closed or reduced their offering.

That's all very well, but A LOT can change between deciding to start a family and that child starting school.
Many couples do not have the option of living near a good school with wraparound care when they choose their first home.
Are people really asking around about wraparound care when they're trying to get pregnant?

Thank you! 😅 The 'what did you plan' comment 😅 I planned to use the after school club which is literally all we have available 😅

Just saw there are no childminders - could you do a nannny share ? Is there a local facebook group you could post the question there might be a nanny who is open to wraparound

When I worked I only worked on Sundays for royal mail as a temp and my husband was home. Now I don't work

Don’t feel guilty! I do some care to help my DD after school - I love it and it means I get to see my grandchildren every week. If I didn’t do it I’d see less of them as they’re so busy with sports at the weekend.

Have you looked to see if other schools have ASCs? In some areas they join forces and collect children from each school.

Before schooling, we had a childminder 4 days a week. My husband worked a full time but 4 day week.

I worked 9 to 3 while the kids were at school and my husband a full time but 4 day week. I was self employed so change of hours was simple (although getting the actual work done a challenge).

Holidays involved us and my parents looking after them for weeks on end. Luckily we all live in tourist areas so there was generally plenty to do.

I also agree its the parents responsibility to make their own arrangements for their own children.

We both work compressed hours so only have to cover childcare 3 days a week, we use after school club/sports activities at school. We alternate who does drop offs and pick ups, although DH has just got a promotion but with a longer commute so I'll be doing more mornings , he can now WFH 1 day though so will be able to do both ends that day and on his NWD, my office is very close to home and I've been able to work a day a week from home for some time. The flip side is I have to sometimes travel and be away overnight. We just juggle it between us tbh.

This sounds so obvious - what if you can’t move, or the school you’re allocated suddenly stops its wraparound care?

Well that's why I said "options". Plural.

OP, you should start looking at school holiday provision, especially for the long summer holiday, now. If you are both working full time and have regular office hours leave, you're going to struggle. How far away is your nearest town?

Move somewhere where there is. Ideally live somewhere where there is already. Again, I think the issue here is the small village. The chances of there being other people around to look after your DC when you're both at work are massively compromised if you live somewhere with very few other people. If the OP's jobs don't tie them to a small village lifestyle, then it's madness to raise DC there and then wonder why there's no one around to look after your young DC.

To some extent, yes. Rural living means less infrastructure. It should be taken into account. I do appreciate that it isn't always simple, but if you've truly got no contingency for back up childcare, and not even a free evening a term to join a committee a small rural school isn't a sensible choice.

I couldn’t afford childcare at all in any form. When my first was born my circumstances changed dramatically and I ended up in a situation where childcare cost more than I could earn. And I was the only person to earn anything, and we had to eat, which is why I had to go back to work immediately after my babies were born but also couldn’t use childcare for them (that and they were too young for childcare)

An endless juggle of taking them to work with me (only accepting jobs where I could do this) working with them at home, working nights or through the night, swapping childcare days with friends, creating my own jobs and applying my own hours, leaving them at home on their own, and many many phone calls from the school asking where I was as I desperately pelted towards the school as fast as I could.

I could afford childcare if I had them now, it would have been useful to have had the option but when it isn’t one you just have to get creative (and feel like you are failing them of course)