To take DS for a burger after football?

[Burntoutandsevered]

DH usually takes DS to football Thursday nights. He was tired and wanted me to do it. OK.

For the record, we are about to move house and everything is quite chaotic. Work is busy, I am handling all the admin for the move, renovation, packing etc. My dad died a couple of months ago. My brain is a bit full.

It was freezing after football, we were bith starving and tired. DS asked for a burger chain drive through. We don't normally do stuff in the evening just us so I figured sure, bit of a treat.

Some part of me thought DH might be miffed (he hates take out and fast food) but I thought he could suck it up. I am usually at home, tidying up, walking the dog and making dinner ready for them to get home. They're often late, and on more than one occasion have stopped for food on the way home and not told me.

I went to message DH but my phone had died. Honestly, I thought 'sod it'. Perhaps not my finest move but not a crime.

We got in, DH (who NEVER cooks) had heated up a pasta sauce from the freezer. He was obviously cross. The quiet, disappointed in you, pass agg kind of cross. Apparently it hurt his feelings and made him sad. This made DS cry because he felt really guilty. I said it wasn't that big a deal, DS did nothing wrong, it was my decision and his reaction was a bit rich given how often I'm cooking at home waiting for them. Every bloody Sunday I spend two hours cooking a roast while they're glued to the x box and only when ive said three times dinner is ready does DH decide to go to the loo and faff choosing some music to listen to.

I said i was sorry to have hurt his feelings, it was a genuine miscommunication but now he knows what it feels like. We managed to do a good job of patching it up before DS went to bed but now DH is sulking and theres an atmosphere. All over a bloody burger.

I'm being petty arent i. Did he over react?Am I being a total dick, or is it about time the boot was on the other foot?

What was he upset about? Wasted sauce?

That’s horrible from your DH. It was only sauce from the freezer after all!

Either way, he shouldn’t have made your DS feel bad.

I can’t see any redeeming features from this man from what you’ve posted!

He sounds like a spoilt little boy

I’d hate to being up kids in a family like this. You had a McDonald’s and it shouldn’t even be a second thought in anybody’s mind.

I wouldn’t have said sorry (to your DH, I would have said sorry to my own because he doesn’t behave like this according to what you’ve written) it’s concerning that your son cried over it.

Can he not see the hypocrisy??

Just ignore him completely

He's looking for a reaction from you.

What an arsehole. Guilt tripping a kid is really shitty behaviour...and likely to cause lasting damage if he does it regularly.

He'd be wearing that pasta sauce if I was in your shoes, that made me really angry reading that

So why was he upset ,did he want a burger 🍔? You hurt his feelings ,he needs to get a grip.

I would have ripped dp a new one if he laid a guilt trip on dc like that.

Honestly who gets annoyed and sulky over a burger and some wasted pasta. He needs to grow up.

But also you could do with a reality check too, sounds like you've put up with this for too long and all that info you put in your post about Sunday lunches and walking the dog and your dad dying recently... You don't need to consider any of that here to try to justify your annoyance, you're well within your rights to be annoyed with him. He's in the wrong not you.

He needs to grow up. You did nothing wrong. Your phone died.
Next time if you do it though, I’d take him a take away burger so he’s not missing out. He should do the same when they go out.

Your poor DS shouldn’t be seeing that kind of grief.

Stop cooking Sunday roasts if you hate it and no one seems to appreciate it. It’s one of those traditions that is a complete waste if time, not to mention expensive.

If it was a veggie sauce your DH can have what he wants and someone can reheat the rest again for their lunch anyway.

Not really the point but it makes it even less of a thing.

Why does he think a small bit of his time and effort is worth so much more than a big bit of his? And from his form, you had no reason to have ever imagined he’d cook - it was hardly the default.

In my house, if this helps in a practical level, when I’m cooking I give the kids a “two minute warning” to go to the loo and faff before the dinner is ready, so that they come in at about the same time it’s ready. Because I also find it maddening when people faff after their food is on the table.

I'm sorry for your loss OP.

I have a similar husband. They do jack shit yet they really think they're a catch, don't they? That these sort of petty passive aggressive episodes are warranted because they're so hard done by. "Somebody get the violins out, another man is feeling emasculated over a non issue".

I don't think you have done anything wrong OP. I think you're doing a lot of rights and he would do well to focus on that.

two options. Either ignore him completely or tell him that you don't sulk when this kind of thing happens and you find it really unattractive. And that it's time for a reset of responsibilities round the house.

The problem here is that it never crossed your mind that he would prepare a meal for you while you were busy dealing with his responsibilities because he was 'tired'. And it didn't cross your mind because he had never done it before. That is what needs to change. He needs to lift his game.

Well he showing you his true self, I wonder if you’ll think twice about stepping out of line again with this sulky behaviour.

I bet money that dh is controlling, and this isn’t new behaviour, and he often sulks whenever he feels justified.

There’s lots of anxiety in your post, and a need to explain yourself. It’s a burger, you don’t need to justify yourself.

When he starts cooking he can start criticising your decisions. He's just jealous, leave him be.

Sounds like he seized the opportunity to sulk and didn’t even care about the food

Him making your son cry and feeling guilty all over a burger is horrible. It sounds abit like coercive controlled behaviour, the silent treatment, passive aggressiveness, victim mentality , the way you are questioning if your are in the wrong.

My first reaction to reading this was ‘haha what a fucking loser’ honestly could not be bothered with any of that and making your ds cry over getting a Mcds drive thru, no way! What a bizarre reaction from an adult.

You had nothing to apologise for. Does he do this shit regularly so you’re made to feel you're in the wrong and therefore apologise over complete non events?

I can never tell if posts like this are serious. Would you really result to throwing food or is it just an exaggerated way of saying you would be annoyed at his petty behaviour?

Omg your poor son!

Your relationship sounds awful and the poor kid is stuck in the middle.

Why are you still together.
It is obvious neither of you like each other.

The burger sounds like the tip of the iceberg.

yeah me too. Your husband is actually really not very nice. Sorry.

I don't understand how are you being petty? By saying "now you know how it feels"?

Did you take your D's for a burger and bit tell your DH out of spite? No I don't think you did. So not sure why you're feeling bad about this.

There's poor DH thinking he's the big man making dinner for when you get home, and now his big man ego is all hurt. Oh what a shame 😂