To take DS for a burger after football?

[Burntoutandsevered]

DH usually takes DS to football Thursday nights. He was tired and wanted me to do it. OK.

For the record, we are about to move house and everything is quite chaotic. Work is busy, I am handling all the admin for the move, renovation, packing etc. My dad died a couple of months ago. My brain is a bit full.

It was freezing after football, we were bith starving and tired. DS asked for a burger chain drive through. We don't normally do stuff in the evening just us so I figured sure, bit of a treat.

Some part of me thought DH might be miffed (he hates take out and fast food) but I thought he could suck it up. I am usually at home, tidying up, walking the dog and making dinner ready for them to get home. They're often late, and on more than one occasion have stopped for food on the way home and not told me.

I went to message DH but my phone had died. Honestly, I thought 'sod it'. Perhaps not my finest move but not a crime.

We got in, DH (who NEVER cooks) had heated up a pasta sauce from the freezer. He was obviously cross. The quiet, disappointed in you, pass agg kind of cross. Apparently it hurt his feelings and made him sad. This made DS cry because he felt really guilty. I said it wasn't that big a deal, DS did nothing wrong, it was my decision and his reaction was a bit rich given how often I'm cooking at home waiting for them. Every bloody Sunday I spend two hours cooking a roast while they're glued to the x box and only when ive said three times dinner is ready does DH decide to go to the loo and faff choosing some music to listen to.

I said i was sorry to have hurt his feelings, it was a genuine miscommunication but now he knows what it feels like. We managed to do a good job of patching it up before DS went to bed but now DH is sulking and theres an atmosphere. All over a bloody burger.

I'm being petty arent i. Did he over react?Am I being a total dick, or is it about time the boot was on the other foot?

What a pathetic man. Providing there’s no massive relevant backstory, he just sounds like a controlling dickhead. I suspect he’s often like this by your ott backstory as to why you had the burger, falling over yourself to justify it.

Love it!😂

If you look at this a bit longer it’s clear that the issue your DH had was not about pasta sauce, his wasted effort, the burger being junk or him being left out. It’s the fact that YOU went and had fun without his permission, let alone informing him or including him.
This is worse than it sounds and has totally skewed your perception of what a balanced relationship is. You are the boiled frog, time to leap out..

Was it perhaps that he thought he'd done well making dinner and was disappointed no one wanted it? Even if it was, he needs to take it on the chin and not be so chilish as to reduce his son to tears, another ' prince among men'🙄

He wanted a gold star from you for being such a good boy and thinking about making dinner. You didn’t give it to him. He took it out on his child because he is still, in fact, a child himself. Typical manchild behaviour by the sounds of it!

I would get counselling tbh. It sounds like quite a miserable interaction. You're decision was reasonable seeing as your the one usually responsible for cooking so you wouldn't have expected him to prepare anything. He shouldn't have made you feel bad about it, you weren't to know.

I do think "now you know how it feels" (although I can imagine myself saying something similar in a moment of hurt!) is unhelpful and it indicates some bubbling resentment about the fact that they sit around playing Xbox while you slave away in the kitchen.

If you are unhappy with your share of the chores and don't think it's fair, you need to speak about this with him because otherwise you will resent him and this is very damaging in a relationship.

He made his child cry???? Over something that he got out the freezer? That you presumably cooked in the first place.
I hope he’s suitably apologetic. He’s behaving like a childish twat.
I’d be fucking fuming.

Get an in car charger

he’s a knob @Burntoutandsevered

if he never cooks usually and he did that’s weird but to guilt trip you over a burger

tho if you and ds has eaten would have been nice for you to have for one for dh

maybe a few less roasts till they appreciate you

What a child he is.

Your husband sounds like a very peculiar mixture of childish and controlling. Did he expect a medal for defrosting some pasta sauce? I think you are giving him far too much consideration. He sounds completely self centered.

God Bless You & Your Dear Son
Original commenter, I don't know how you can possibly even doubt yourself or wonder if you're being unreasonable 😥I feel so upset for you & your sweet Son - Of course you've both done completely nothing wrong
How dare your husband have the audacity to have the hump & such double standards - What's good for the goose
I mean it's perfectly understandable & natural your dear Son would be hungry following all the physical exertion of football training - Your husband oftentimes takes your dear Son for food following football too so what possible leg does he honestly feel he's got to stand on? 😥💚😞
Really hope & I'm praying you&your sweet Son totally stop blaming yourselves & you find the justified righteous words, to help your husband takes a good look in the mirror, doing some imperative soul searching
🙏💚🙏

Call his bluff and ask him to cook the pasta for Sunday dinner instead of you cooking a roast.

What a A hole your is. DH..He sounds very controlling and almost toddler like in throwing a strop and sulking and almost pissing in his shoe.

Tell him to get a life then just ignore him.

👍

I agree with the general consensus on here. Your DH is a bully.

However I do have to ask am I the only one who thinks it’s weird to go and out on music for Sunday lunch? Is that a thing?

He was obviously cross. The quiet, disappointed in you, pass agg kind of cross. Apparently it hurt his feelings and made him sad. This made DS cry because he felt really guilty

Jesus Christ I’m horrified reading this. Your poor son 😔

This would be an absolute non-issue in my house. Your husband sounds like a complete freak!

Your poor son. Your DH took a nice one off treat and pissed all over it to make it about him.

Awful he upset your DS over this. Of course you did nothing wrong DH needs to grow up and get over himself.

YANBU to have taken him, but I’d have been a bit miffed in your DH’s shoes at the lack of communication. However, that’s not something your DS should ever have been aware of, as you say it’s you that made the decision and then didn’t tell DH about it. Nevertheless, it’s such a minor thing that he’s an arse if he’s still sulking about it.

I can't believe he made DS cry over this. He sounds mean.

Oh I hate it when people sulk! Did he message before heating the pasta sauce to see what was going on?

The only thing you did wrong was apologise to the pathetic manbaby you’re married to.

What a ridiculous twat he is.

Im shocked that even 2% think you’re unreasonable but this one imo so clear cut that HE is the arsehole

Wow, it's not you who's being a total dick. Your DH needs to get over himself.

This sounds less of a partnership and more like your DH likes to get his own way. Some spontaneity should be allowed in life, especially when spending time with your DS. The fact that your DS cried makes me feel really sad for him, that your DH is like this regularly and it has an effect on him. I'd definitely want a serious conversation with DH (TBF, I'd probably make more serious decisions on my relationship, but I refuse to put up with dicks in my relationships anymore)

Hey op fuck the man child you are entitled to do what you want if he had slaved away for ages or you were skint fair enough but it’s a bloody burger and your son wanted it and you did too. Tell him to stop acting like you just had a 3 course meal somewhere fancy whilst he stayed home and cooked for hours. I would suggest you try to keep your phone charged up tho for emergencies.

If he is an otherwise OK person and this is a one off (I'm not seeing anything ok about him from your post) then ignore his sulking, it's ridiculous. Have a serious conversation so he knows his behaviour isn't acceptable and won't be tolerated.

If he has other issues then you need to seriously think and figure out if you want to live on tenterhooks forever. And if you want your child to grow up in that environment.

I can't imagine ever having to discuss buying a burger for kids with anyone except with whoever will be eating it. Or an adult sulking and 'feeling hurt and sad' because you got a burger. I can't imagine living with another adult making a child cry over a damn burger and be ok with it.

Definately a permanent 'ick'.