To ask how you survive this cold as an office worker?

[ColdToesandWarmHeart]

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I am freezing. Down to my bones. I have a heating pad under my jumper and a blanket on me and I finally feel warm for the first time this week.

I have ordered a hot water bottle but I don’t know what else I can do. I’m freezing. I’m on Mounjaro so I think it’s that, but I’m just so miserable.

I was about to suggest this.

I was very anaemic three years ago due to heavy post menopausal bleeding (degenerating fibroids + endometrial hyperplasia). My main symptoms were restless legs in the evenings and feeling perishing cold. Both resolved once I'd been on iron supplementation for a few weeks.

Can you get your iron and ferritin levels checked?

I used to get very cold feet in the winter at night but I now go out for a 20 minute or longer walk at least once and often twice a day and that does seem to have improved the circulation in my legs and feet. If I can't get out I do leg and ankle exercises and my feet don't feel so cold in bed.

If you sit at a desk for most of the day can you do ankle flexes and ankle circles every hour or so?

Are you on any meds like beta blockers or blood thinners? My husband is on both and he always feels cold, especially extremities - his hands, feet and nose feel like ice, this weather and he's only really comfortable if the room temperature is several degrees higher than what I would like.

https://safelives.org.uk/about-domestic-abuse/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/

you're not even allowed to boil a kettle? Just because someone has always been abusive and controlling doesn't mean it's fine.

I can boil the kettle he just hates when I do the whole kettle for a hot water bottle because he sees it as a waste of money and water

No it is a bit cold. It's not the end of the world or even extreme and most of us, especially those who have to work outside, put on more layers of appropriate material, make hot drinks when we can and get on with it.

Smuggle a heated blanket into the house and use it in your bedroom. It just looks like a fleece blanket. Roll it up when you are out and then he will never spot the wires! Please don't suffer being this cold, it sounds miserable.

Also, shocked to hear that your parents are happy to go on expensive holidays to avoid the cold whilst they are happy for their daughter to be so uncomfortably cold. Sounds like they are putting your comfort to the bottom of the priority list.

You're lucky our NHS clinics are heated to tropical levels. Im on mounjaro too. After losing 5 stone im definitely feeling the cold.

Then he needs to learn to operate TRVs and a controller set up

"suggested" I'm afraid, not a legal minimum.

if someone hates something you do and gets annoyed so you need to hide it, then it's not that far from not being allowed.

Like I said, he grew up very poor and it’s understandable that he’s like this.

Plenty of people grow up poor and (if they have money, you say he does) decide they want better for their families. It's not an excuse.

He’s not abusive, and nothing people will say on that will change my mind. He doesn’t like central heating. It’s his house, he can make those choices.

So you're endorsing his coercive control and abuse? If you're communicating with patients have you done any training related to safeguarding and recognising abuse?

You’ve got the bit between your teeth haven’t you? He’s not abusive. I’ve done my mandatory training.

He doesn't want you to boil a full kettle! It costs about 3p. 3p for a few hours of warmth for his daughter. What a guy.

He's keeping you cold at home. That's abuse and no amount of denial changes that.

Your mandatory training evidently hasn't taught you what abuse and coercive control is.

Your father is ignoring your need to be warm - this is neglect. Neglect is abuse by omission.

It’s just how he is. He’s always been the same and likely always will be. He’s a bit tight. He walks 25 minutes each way to get his newspaper, come rain or shine, instead of paying £12 a week to get it delivered. He’s not abusive.

If the house is at 11-12C regularly while people are at home then that's impacting the health of those living there. It is probably impacting the fabtic of the house too.

Your father is deliberately keeping the house this cold. There is heating available and he has money to pay for it. He would rather cause you (and the rest of the household) discomfort and risk your health than spend money. That is abusive.

Just because you have been gaslit to believe it's just a funny little quirk of his and you are being unreasonable doesn't mean it isn't abusive.

If you were a child a safeguarding referral would be made if you disclosed these facts at school.

If he won't let you use extra heat even if you pay for it then you need to urgently move out.

He’s not doing it to cause us discomfort. He’s doing it because he sees it as a waste of money. That’s being right, not abusive.

Layer up.
Thermals on first.
Then a long sleeved t shirt type
Then fleece
Then a nice thick jumper
Fleece leggings too
Fluffy socks

Always get your thyroid checked. Before I learned that mine had blown out, I got to the point where the only way I could warm up was to have a hot bath.

No, it's abusive. If he deprived you of food because it's expensive, that would also be abusive.