To call out my SIL for saying she preferred children when they are weakened by illness?

[Chezron24]

My SIL has always been a bit strange. She has 1 child, which she had later in life.
She was having a conversation online with a relative whose kids were poorly, when she made the comment.
I reacted by saying that's sick.

Am I being unreasonable, or do you find the comment really weird?

When your child is relatively energetic or independent and you get that rare snuggled up cuddle, it can be lovely. I say this as someone who has a child who has died.

Nobody actually means they prefer seriously ill children and I think it’s both argumentative and disingenuous to twist a situation to suggest that.

I have a very hyper, attention grabbing GD and as much as I adore her, the best Christmas day was when she had a sickness bug and lay quietly on the sofa drifting in and out of sleep. It's a family joke that it was the best Christmas ever

People have different senses of humour

Isn't that the Calpol advert, where parents curse the Calpol because their little darlings are suddenly running at full pelt again?
I'd see it as just a joke.

We all say things from time to time that unintentionally come across slightly strange. Why on earth do you think she needs to be ‘called out’ for that? She’s not a public figure causing widespread harm to marginalised groups.

Using language like that makes you sound very haughty and self-important. Also, if you’re so sure of your moral righteousness, why are you posting about it on Mumsnet in search of validation? You’re simply trying to draw strangers into a conversation with you about how weird your SIL is. This is deeply strange behaviour on your part and I’d encourage you to reflect on that.

My mum always said she preferred me ill as that’s the only time I cuddled her.
make of that what you will!

She has 1 child, which she had later in life

What's having an only child got to do with anything?

Crumbs, she was saying something relatable and you sound like you are judgy and way too literal.

And what's with the 'later in life' remark? Why is that relevant?

God, you're one of those po faced people who take every joke literally and judges people for it.

It is very common for parents to say they like their children best when asleep, or their favourite child keeps changing, or that they love going to work because nobody watches them pee there etc etc. People make jokes to cope with difficult situations and parenting is hard. Particularly when idiots judge you all the time.

Also, toasty warm to sit under while saying’I wish I could help’

She was clearly joking with her relative, not sure why you interrupted their private convo. Was it your way of joining in.

Did she actually say ‘I prefer children weakened by illness’ 🤨 or was it more ‘Billy’s had a virus this week and slept loads in the day, it’s been absolute bliss’ - which is something I’d say to my sister and we’d have a good laugh

Are you my daughter? I still tell the story of the pre chicken pox day-long cuddle I got when she was a toddler because it was so out of character for her. Thankfully she grew up into a very cuddly teen.

My SIL has always been a bit strange. She has 1 child, which she had later in life..

WTF have I just read?

Oh… when my husband has man sniffles it makes me want to take him to Dignitas. Am I wifing wrong?

I was dreading the summer holidays with DS11 this year as he's a horror of hormones and ill directed tweenage rage but luckily he got run over on the second day of the holidays, spent the summer bed bound/in a wheelchair and had to have multiple surgeries on a really nasty open fracture to his leg. He was my lovely boy again when he needed his mummy. It was rather lovely, if exhausting.

He's almost fully recovered now and back to being an absolute pain in the arse. I see huge quantities of gin and wine in the next few years to get me through it.

It's called gallows humour OP. Do you even have children?

My middle child was always quite difficult (very energetic, was forever climbing trees after them!) but was a breeze to look after when unwell. Would sleep for days (sometimes literally) until it passed. That doesn't mean I wanted them to be unwell. But maybe I'm misrepresenting what you meant. Could you be doing the same thing?

I think you're just determined to read the worst into her for someone reason.

That's exactly the kind of thing I said half joking when mine were tired and on the go all day. I definitely relished the days they were run down and wanted cuddles on the sofa for a change -.even as I felt sad for them they were feeling rotten

I prefer my children well. Mind you I have watched 2 of mine have operations in the last month, including one where he was in a lot of pain and I was desperate for a dr to come and prescribe pain relief. The dr took ages and it was awful.

Chill. At least she's not suggesting drugging them with daffy.

Unclench. You clearly don't like her.

So she wasn’t talking with you? Do you know what she said word for word. What’s the wage like for the Professionally Offended? Do you get good benefits?

That was clearly a jokey comment.

Wasn’t that the case in We Need to Talk About Kevin?

Oh come on, it was clearly a joke. Don’t be so prissy.

‘Calling her out’ was ridiculous.