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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To call out my SIL for saying she preferred children when they are weakened by illness?

65 replies

Chezron24 · 19/11/2025 20:35

My SIL has always been a bit strange. She has 1 child, which she had later in life.
She was having a conversation online with a relative whose kids were poorly, when she made the comment.
I reacted by saying that's sick.

Am I being unreasonable, or do you find the comment really weird?

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 19/11/2025 20:38

Did she literally say that, or are you paraphrasing? Were you part of the online conversation or is this hearsay?

If you were part of the online conversation, when you responded did she then say: "Sorry that isn't what I meant/that came out wrong" or did she just laugh it off or not care that you had commented at all?

maslinpan · 19/11/2025 20:38

Does she have an odd sense of humour which comes over as callous? Was she trying to get a reaction?

Lemonsugarpancakes · 19/11/2025 20:41

Maybe her child is very energetic and matches her energy more when they’re ill? It doesn’t sound like a malicious thing.

TomatoSandwiches · 19/11/2025 20:43

She has a dark sense of humour?
I presume you just don't like her and are looking for things to complain about.

Justnotbuyingit · 19/11/2025 20:44

Sounds like a joke to me. Why did you have to “call her out”. I hate that phrase.

I’ve said before I like when my son is sick enough he’ll just flop on me and give in to cuddles but hate when he’s still sick but well enough to be back to being a pain in the ass.

It’s just a joke and I never want my child to be unwell.

TheatricalLife · 19/11/2025 20:45

My sister and I say silly things like this to each other -we don't mean it obviously, it's just humour.

BreakingBroken · 19/11/2025 20:46

Sick little kiddos are the cutest, puppy dog eyes and little voice. I absolutely love an energy zapping low fever.
Nothing serious though.

Justnotbuyingit · 19/11/2025 20:46

BreakingBroken · 19/11/2025 20:46

Sick little kiddos are the cutest, puppy dog eyes and little voice. I absolutely love an energy zapping low fever.
Nothing serious though.

😂 exactly

Branleuse · 19/11/2025 20:47

I think it's a joke surely. Like saying how sleeping children are the cutest.

AmberSpyware · 19/11/2025 20:48

Call her out for what?

it’s joke I’d make

my child does backflips all day and is like a border collie

I am a more chill creature

a sickness bug is the only time I get to watch a Disney film with snuggles

I find you weird for not getting it 😂

TowerRavenSeven · 19/11/2025 20:49

Oh my. I’ve thought this with my son but not in the way you mean. When a baby, he would never cuddle into my shoulder or want to be cuddled unless he was sick. In no way would I ever prefer a sick child to a well one! But I have thought it was nice when I could get my snuggles in with him! Maybe that’s what she meant?

Notsurewhatisnormalanymore · 19/11/2025 20:51

I’ve made this joke before tbh. ‘At least they’re quiet.’ Kind of thing. I think you’re reaching.

Novemberbrain · 19/11/2025 20:51

I think YABU for mentioning she has one child and had them later in life, as though that makes her less qualified to talk about her experience of being a parent. Yes it's an odd comment to come out with and could be in poor taste, but it would be whoever said it, and the fact you've prefaced it with that says something about the lense you view her through. Your wording gives the impression you generally look down on her which makes it hard to give an objective judgement about a one-off comment

Dramatic · 19/11/2025 20:52

Weird thing to say if she said it exactly like that, but then I get overly paranoid when mine are ill and just can't wait for them to be better, the stress of them being ill is much worse than the stress of looking after an energetic child.

Lavenduhhh · 19/11/2025 20:53

BreakingBroken · 19/11/2025 20:46

Sick little kiddos are the cutest, puppy dog eyes and little voice. I absolutely love an energy zapping low fever.
Nothing serious though.

Literally. When mine have a cold they're very mummy's boys. It's actually pleasant.

PracticalPixie · 19/11/2025 20:54

Sounds like a joke. She maybe has a very dry sense of humour which has gone over your head. How are you planning on calling her out exactly?

JLou08 · 19/11/2025 21:04

YABU.
There was a Calpol advert based on just what your SIL was saying. I'm sure it's all just lighthearted and no one really wants their child to be ill but it can be easier cuddling a poorly toddler on the couch rather than chasing them around when they're full of energy.

Pringlebeak · 19/11/2025 21:08

All the fight and backchat goes out of my two when they're sick, which is a pleasant change. Obviously I don't wish them to be ill however.

BadgernTheGarden · 19/11/2025 21:10

Chezron24 · 19/11/2025 20:35

My SIL has always been a bit strange. She has 1 child, which she had later in life.
She was having a conversation online with a relative whose kids were poorly, when she made the comment.
I reacted by saying that's sick.

Am I being unreasonable, or do you find the comment really weird?

Sounds like a joke in really bad taste to me.

Cucy · 19/11/2025 21:11

I love kids when they’re sleepy or tired - I think they’re so cute.

I really like when men are poorly and they’re walking around all sniffly in their dressing gowns.

I think it’s our natural instinct to want to care for people when they’re sick or need a hug, it does something inside us.

She didn’t meant she wants them to be poorly.

MarioLink · 19/11/2025 21:11

It was a joke. You sound difficult.

elviswhorley · 19/11/2025 21:16

Sounds like a joke. Sounds like you have a stick up your arse.

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 19/11/2025 21:21

Well I’ve been known to say that I love it when my kids have colds because that means I can properly mother them like when they are little. It’s the only time
My teen boy allows me endless cuddles. I don’t mean them any illness of course but goodness I love love looking after them when they are poorly.

Livelaughlurgy · 19/11/2025 21:25

I love that stage where they're sick where you're not worried about them, they're over the truly unwell bit, but they're still tired enough to want to cuddle all the time. And then comes the horror phase where they can't properly assess their energy and they zoom around like wound up ties and swiftly are spent and on the floor and complaining until they've enough energy to race around again. Obviously I'd rather they were never sick at all.

twosandwiches · 19/11/2025 21:25

My teenager was weakened by raging tonsillitis last month, and 100 times more pleasant and easy to live with. She’s now reverted to her usual moody, opinionated and ungrateful self.

I enjoyed the fact her tonsillitis impeded her opinionating.

Don’t ever listen to Tim
Minchin singing ‘lullaby.’ You’ll be enraged.