Mixed up days for school pick up - feel awful

[spukalili]

My office days are usually Tues/Thurs, have been since my little one started school, and I have before/after school club arranged on these days for my child who is in reception.

I have recently started a new role, and am involved in a round of recruitment which is fairly intense. I had to go into the office today (Wednesday) but knew I'd be finished by 3.30pm so didn't need to arrange alternative pick up.

I don't know what happened, but I went to pick my youngest up from the childminder earlier, and completely mixed up my days, going through the notions as though it was a Thursday, assuming I had until 4.30pm to pick my oldest up. It wasn't until I got a call from husband at 3.45 asking me where I was, as he'd had a call from the school letting me know that they still had him, he wasn't down for after school club, and could we go and get him. I called them back and apologised profusely but I was so flustered, I just explained it was a mix up and my husband would be there imminently.

I feel absolutely awful. So insanely guilty, like I'm failing at balancing a career change and parenting. I also feel terrible that somebody had to sit with him until my husband could get there (fortunately we only live a three minute walk away). I actually mentioned to him while I was driving home that our son was at afterschool today, so we had until 4.30pm to pick him up, so that is how convinced I was that it was Thursday (and why he didn't pick up on it).

Would I be unreasonable to call the school tomorrow and just apologise for the mix up? Should I write an email? It is absolutely my fault - I should have set a reminder on my phone, knowing that the week would be different.

Is it likely that he'll get a mark against his name? Is this likely to be pulled up as a safeguarding issue? There are no other issues with the school, I'm normally on top of everything - I just feel like an absolute failure right now.

Relax - loads of people have done this, including me.

An email apologising to the school would be appreciated by them, it will be a fairly regular occurance for them! They get annoyed by people who knowingly do it to avoid after school club, not one off genuine errors.

This will happen all the time and, as a one off, the school will accept it as ‘one of those things’. Most parents get stuck in traffic or held up for some reason at some point

It happens to everyone, please dont fret!

Ive been late for pick up before because of traffic and a friend of mine text her dh to pick the kids from school and it didnt go through, so the kids were left at school and they got a phone call too!

Just send an email apologising and don't worry, your son was safe.

Depending on how long the child is there for in some instances parents are charged for late pick ups as the child is taken to after school club where I work.

In the case of the OP I wouldn't worry too much, the one off incident like this is not going to cause much concern. I wouldn't get too stressed about it. A quick message to the office saying thank you for holding onto your child would be enough.

And always get the office staff something small at Christmas and end of year because they are generally what holds the school together

Thank you so much for your reassuring reply.

Honestly, I'm mortified. I can see how much of an inconvenience this is for the poor staff who have already been there for the day, as well as how concerned it must be when a parent just doesn't turn up. I could have kicked myself when I got the call from my other half - he was just as flustered as I was.

I wasn't sure if an email would come across as me trying to cover something up? Which I know sounds ridiculous! I do all pick ups and drop offs, he has never even been late, and I'm usually five minutes early for pick up, or asking them if I can come and get him early if I'm back and it's an afterschool day. I can't believe I got my bloody days mixed up!!

Chill, you left your child in a safe place with people looking after him ,you didn't forget him.

It happens all the time, of course it's nice to apologise and thank the school but there's no drama.

Is it likely that he'll get a mark against his name? Is this likely to be pulled up as a safeguarding issue? You are being ridiculous, you mixed up the days, big deal.

I had a dad forget his kid once by 3 hours.

It was his first day too, bless him. Dad started a course the same day and forgot the wee one needed collecting at a different time to the older ones. Phone off due to the course, so couldn't contact anyone. He apologised looking mortified and that was enough. They remain one of my favorite families in the school. Everyone has one off eejit moments - don't worry about it at all!

as well as how concerned it must be when a parent just doesn't turn up

there's 0 concern 😂
People run late, exhausted new mums fall asleep and don't wake up on time, people confuse club day with a normal day, parent are convinced the other one is picking up the child, the childminder forgets, the grand-parent forget..

It's part of the job. It's annoying but as a one-off it's a total non-issue. You are apologetic and grateful, that's enough, just be more organised next time.

Yes, in some places you are charged for the extra-time, which is fair.

I only thought this might be a possible outcome, as obviously ran to Mumsnet to google similar stories, and loads of posts mentioned safeguarding referrals and marks against names as part of school policy, so I just panicked 😅

Its usually obvious what is genuone and what is lack of care. I think every parent does something ditsy at some point. I've rung parents (from Youth group) and you can practically hear the realisation they've messed up day/time/thought the other parent had picked up moment. (My favourite being the normally mind mannered Dad going "Oh Fuck, its 10 past 7, ill be there in 5 minutes")

If the schools started to marks against such name, they would do nothing else 😂

Ideally you TRY not to forget/ mix up/ be late, not get casual about "oh the school will deal with it", and contact the school immediately, but it's not a big deal.

There was a poster awhile ago, who was very irate and offended because the school office was very cold when she picked up her child. She was running VERY late, but didn't bother to contact anyone - on the silly pretext that it would have made her even more late to stop 1 mn to make a phone call. She didn't pick up her phone or answer any of the school messages trying to contact her.
All she had to do (apart from not be late in the first place, she was just having her hair done if I remember rightly?), was to call the school when she was leaving knowing that she was already late, or stop somewhere and call to say she was running late.
She couldn't be bothered, blamed her first appointment, the traffic, the accident that delayed the traffic and ranted on an entire thread how unreasonable the school office was.

Happens all the time. That's not you, you are apologetic and flustered, really a non issue.

The fact you’re mortified is punishable enough, it happens, the school are far more concerned about the parents who don’t get their children to school on time day after day, and sometimes same parents don’t pick up on time, worst cast we had were a group of mums arriving obviously tipsy every Friday, not drunk enough to call social services but enough to think it was a bit off

Thank you so much - this makes me feel marginally better.

It has just been a really busy week - I started my new job, then have gone straight into three rounds of interviews over three days. It has totally thrown me. Totally second guessing myself now though - who forgets what day it is?!

I think I saw that post when I was frantically googling "forgot to pick my child up", and saw the reception she got. I feel absolutely mortified, even knowing it was a genuine mistake - I can't imagine being annoyed at the poor staff member who had to chase her and wait around because she had a hair appointment!

You need to chill out. Your kid was at school and safe and your husband answered their call. Mountain out of a molehill much.

YABU - School see this every day and there are no black marks or harsh judgements or anything. Everyone does it at one point in their parenting life.

Forgive yourself, pour yourself a glass of wine and remember we had a serving prime minister who left his kid behind in a pub.
🍷

Trust the government to make us feel better about our minor parenting mishaps, hey? At least they have some purpose! 😁

Calm down, your son was safe, in a familiar place and was collected by his other parent not very long after usual pick up time.

Just apologise next time you see the teacher/after school care provider.

Many years ago I and another mum used to do drop off and pick ups between us. She worked a funny shift pattern, and I worked around her, over a 2 or 3 week rota. Worked a treat, until one day it didn't.
I got a phone call from the school, the minute I saw their number come up I knew what it was for and I was mortified. I had looked at the wrong week, totally my fault and I apologised profusely. These things happen, don't worry about it.

It happens occasionally, really don’t worry, it gets annoying when it’s the same parents every day but this is not the case

Email or call and apologise. A one off, where the child is collected as soon as possible after being notified, and in the absence of other concerns, won't be an issue.

I have done similar - I thought I had after school club booked, was free a bit early, so decided to have a quick wander round the nearby retail park - until I got a call from school. Profusely apologised, collected my daughter and it was fine.

I have done this before - easily done. No need to apologise any more than you have or buy gifts. Don’t worry.

Oh my goodness chill. It's fine. It's happened to all of us. There's always one kyd whose parents are stuck in traffic or got the days mixed up. Worst case scenario you pay for the after school care today.

Thank you (and thank you to all those who have taken the time to reply so far!).

I sent them a short email thanking them for making sure he was safe until we could collect and apologising for taking up their time, with a quick explanation as to why it happened. I feel much better about it now.

But going forward, will be setting a calendar reminder both at work and on my phone, so I don't forget again!

I know I will do the same one day but so far, I've only been to collect them from places when they weren't there.

Rings the intercom "Hi, I'm er... What day is it?" "It's Wednesday." "Oh OK, thank you. Goodbye!"