Mixed up days for school pick up - feel awful

[spukalili]

My office days are usually Tues/Thurs, have been since my little one started school, and I have before/after school club arranged on these days for my child who is in reception.

I have recently started a new role, and am involved in a round of recruitment which is fairly intense. I had to go into the office today (Wednesday) but knew I'd be finished by 3.30pm so didn't need to arrange alternative pick up.

I don't know what happened, but I went to pick my youngest up from the childminder earlier, and completely mixed up my days, going through the notions as though it was a Thursday, assuming I had until 4.30pm to pick my oldest up. It wasn't until I got a call from husband at 3.45 asking me where I was, as he'd had a call from the school letting me know that they still had him, he wasn't down for after school club, and could we go and get him. I called them back and apologised profusely but I was so flustered, I just explained it was a mix up and my husband would be there imminently.

I feel absolutely awful. So insanely guilty, like I'm failing at balancing a career change and parenting. I also feel terrible that somebody had to sit with him until my husband could get there (fortunately we only live a three minute walk away). I actually mentioned to him while I was driving home that our son was at afterschool today, so we had until 4.30pm to pick him up, so that is how convinced I was that it was Thursday (and why he didn't pick up on it).

Would I be unreasonable to call the school tomorrow and just apologise for the mix up? Should I write an email? It is absolutely my fault - I should have set a reminder on my phone, knowing that the week would be different.

Is it likely that he'll get a mark against his name? Is this likely to be pulled up as a safeguarding issue? There are no other issues with the school, I'm normally on top of everything - I just feel like an absolute failure right now.

Ha!! I have done the opposite too - turned up at 3.30pm on a day when he's in afterschool club, waiting patiently at the school gates for him, only to realise it's actually Thursday and he's inside having fun with his friends! I don't think that looked as bad as today though 😂

who forgets what day it is?!
everyone

Football used to be on Tuesday it's now on Thursday, drama is now on Wednesday, you have 3 kids doing 3 different clubs and you are on auto-pilot. It sounds simple, but real life happens. "Oh fuck!" is the most common thing said by parents suddenly remembering something 😂

There are terrible and tragic cases of parents forgetting their child in a car. It sounds impossible, everyone is saying "how" and some people are very judgemental, but that's the worst case scenario, it DOES happen sadly. I don't know how, the parents will never understand how either.

You don't need to email anyone but I think it would be a really nice thing to do especially if it filters back to the person who got landed with minding your DC.

I work in a preschool and this happens to almost everyone sometimes, especially those with a combo of childminders and grandparents and parents collecting. We've had parents turn up to collect when child was already gone with the childminder or had neither show up. On one occasion we had all phones ringing out and the child was left for over an hour before we could get in contact. Things go wrong, we've all done it. I've done it myself and it's upsetting but it's absolutely fine. We just tell the kids that someone is stuck in a traffic jam and they accept it, they rarely get upset and usually enjoy the attention.

This happens almost daily at school :) dw

I’m a teacher. Happens all the time. At least you are apologetic about it. Most parents don’t seem to care. An email would be a nice gesture but don’t worry. Your son certainly won’t get a black mark against his name.

If your Husband was at home, why were involved at all?

Bloody hell, calm down 🤣 You picked him up and apologised, forget it.

I got a call on my Christmas afternoon out a few years ago. My OH had forgotten that he was meant to get her. Because I was a few wines down I started ranting about how rubbish he was to the school receptionist. She just laughed and said don't worry she's safe, just give him a call. I think schools realise when it's genuine and know we can make mistakes.

The school don’t mind honestly. I work on a school office and we always have kids left. Quite often we have them until after 4pm when the next round of non- collected kids come down from the after school clubs. It’s very annoying when it’s the same kids every single day (there are lots of them) but every parent misses pick up on occasion and if they apologise we really don’t mind. You’d be surprised how many don’t even say sorry!

I explained this briefly further up the thread - I'd called him when I was driving home and because I was working on the idea that it was Thursday, I told him that I'd go and pick our youngest up a bit earlier, and that I'd grab our oldest later when he'd finished at afterschool club. He assumed I'd arranged afterschool care, so didn't think he needed to go and pick him up.

They called me first, but my phone was in the car as I was collecting my other child, so they called him, and he went to get him.

Thank you!! I can't imagine not saying sorry...honestly, the shame I felt for not being there at pick up...I was really panicking! I feel much better sending them a quick apology - I hope it comes across well.

Recent promotion at work too, with a lot more responsibility, so I'm still finding my feet, and I think it just knocked my confidence a bit about my ability to balance work and home life. Glad to know I'm not the only one, though!

I run a before and after school club that picks up from 2 local schools, I see this happen every single day don't worry! (Usually the same children/parents too)

We also had a parent notoriously turn up to pick her child up 5 minutes after we'd shut every single Friday and he didn't even come to us on a Friday, he went to the after school club at school on that day... meaning she wouldn't have been getting to school until about 18:15 every Friday when they also shut at 6!

You're a human being and you've made a very human mistake
When starting a new job and getting used to a new routine of course everyone's going to drop a few balls!
Be kind to yourself, and yes just drop them a line to thank them.
But don't spend any more time beating yourself up over it.

A practical tip - DH and I make "school pick up" joint appointments in our work calendars. That way we can help each other keep track too

Relax. I work in a school. Most of us are parents and get it.

Just send an email to the office apologising and saying you were on the totally wrong day.

We’ve all done it !

So weird to read this as the same thing happened to me today, for the first time in 4 years of school! I am an overthinker and prone to anxiety but honestly apart from a panicky "oh shit" 5 minutes as I ran to the school, I haven't given it a second thought.

I apologised when I picked him up but they didn't seem bothered at all. I love being early so I'm always the first parent there usually, it's just a mistake, it happens!

You can relax, it's no big deal!

My husband does night shifts and has slept through his alarm at least 3 times in the past 3 years, resulting in a phone call from school asking if someone can come and get my children. I apologise in the moment and move on - it's not ideal (or fair on the staff), but it happens. Nobody will think any less of you.

Don't worry I did the reverse and sent 2 people to pick up my kids one day, and none the next!

I think everyone does this once. I have: my excuss is the clock stopped! When I got her from outside the office (crying) there was a small collection of uncollected kids.

I really wouldn't worry as this is likely to be the only time this happens and there will be kids at the school who arrive and are collected late regularly (there are two in my daughter's class); those are the kids they worry about.

Nobody is perfect. I asked MIL to pick my DC up once when I was working and I got the same phone call, she’d totally forgotten. She lives a 20 min drive away so it meant they were about 40 mins late to be collected. I was also mortified and never asked her again. These things happen, probably daily tbh so schools are very used to it.

I was once due to pick up my year 1 daughter from school at 3.20pm. My husband had gone abroad that day.

I fell asleep with her 2 year old little brother at 1pm. He never ever napped for more than 90 minutes so I thought it was perfect timing as he went down, and I always wake up as soon as he wakes up. That day for some reason we both slept until he woke up at 5pm... woke up to 37 missed calls and had slept through the doorbell too. Was absolutely mortified... school understood(!)

I sent my 2 to school a day early after the summer holidays once. Luckily we are were only 5 houses down form the school, and as it was my youngest child's 1st day I was with them
Gave the office ladies a laugh though.

OP this won’t be the first or last time I’m afraid!!
people are lying if they say they’ve never done it before! We’ve all been there!!
the latest school had to sit with my child was 17:30 - they understand these things happen!

My child was also left at school today 😳You're not alone. due to a change in my work schedule, apparently me sending a time table to my partner including a pick up schedule didn't do the job. He thought last weeks collection was one week only and I should have reminded him (he manages to collect the other child twice a week so I didnt think to remind ha!). It was only when I called him to say I was collecting my work child and would be on the way to get him we clicked that he had forgotten our kid.

You're human. Not a child neglected. I sent an email thanking and apologising with a brief explanation this evening. Please stop over thinking. There are parents that don't collect kids due to being high or down the pub drunk.

I think I’d feel a bit guilty for my son but not the school 🤷‍♀️

I work in an after school club, this happens a lot, we are all human at the end of the day! Just this evening a parent was late as they thought someone else was collecting. We've all been there, please don't beat yourself up about it! You are not the first and you won't be the last! Seriously don't give yourself a hard time over this.