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Original poster

Mixed up days for school pick up - feel awful

65 replies

spukalili · 19/11/2025 16:45

My office days are usually Tues/Thurs, have been since my little one started school, and I have before/after school club arranged on these days for my child who is in reception.

I have recently started a new role, and am involved in a round of recruitment which is fairly intense. I had to go into the office today (Wednesday) but knew I'd be finished by 3.30pm so didn't need to arrange alternative pick up.

I don't know what happened, but I went to pick my youngest up from the childminder earlier, and completely mixed up my days, going through the notions as though it was a Thursday, assuming I had until 4.30pm to pick my oldest up. It wasn't until I got a call from husband at 3.45 asking me where I was, as he'd had a call from the school letting me know that they still had him, he wasn't down for after school club, and could we go and get him. I called them back and apologised profusely but I was so flustered, I just explained it was a mix up and my husband would be there imminently.

I feel absolutely awful. So insanely guilty, like I'm failing at balancing a career change and parenting. I also feel terrible that somebody had to sit with him until my husband could get there (fortunately we only live a three minute walk away). I actually mentioned to him while I was driving home that our son was at afterschool today, so we had until 4.30pm to pick him up, so that is how convinced I was that it was Thursday (and why he didn't pick up on it).

Would I be unreasonable to call the school tomorrow and just apologise for the mix up? Should I write an email? It is absolutely my fault - I should have set a reminder on my phone, knowing that the week would be different.

Is it likely that he'll get a mark against his name? Is this likely to be pulled up as a safeguarding issue? There are no other issues with the school, I'm normally on top of everything - I just feel like an absolute failure right now.

OP posts:
ThisAgileScroller · 20/11/2025 06:40

Just either a call or email. They'll appreciate it and they'll understand. I've waited late with many children whos parents are running late. Its fine. It happens to everyone at some point x the acknowledgement counts.

Anyusernamewilldo8963 · 20/11/2025 07:45

I hope you're feeling a bit calmer about it all this morning @spukalili you've emailed and explained and more importantly you've apologised so now forget about it and look forward to the day you can laugh about it with DC

Herbisaurous · 20/11/2025 07:51

Mate, you are overthinking significantly here.

Dont forget that a large proportion of all school staff either are, or have been, just like you - trying to manage kids and a full time career and all the chaos and guilt that comes with it.

For what it's worth, I have a similar pattern, I work from home on a Tues/Thurs and those are my school run days. A slight change to that will throw me out completely so I stick several reminders in my calendar in the run up to needing to leave when I know there's a change, because it's so easy to get distracted or lose track of days

Runnersandtoms · 20/11/2025 07:58

My kids are teens and there have been many times over the years when I've got muddled or completely forgotten to collect them, ranging from nursery when I just lost track of time, to scouts, a 9.30 pm finish where I thought he was in bed and stuck my head in his darkened room to say goodnight. Put my pj's on then suddenly realised he was out. Scout leader and him sitting there at the hut for 20 minutes..... 🤦🏻‍♀️

As a kids activity leader, I've had parents turn up to collect very late or get completely muddled with the time. It happens. It's fine.

workingitout1234 · 20/11/2025 08:01

Your husband could have picked up on this too it’s not that deep don’t let yourself deep it that much

JasmineTea11 · 20/11/2025 08:07

Classic mum guilt / catastrophising! Poor you, relax, this is much worse your head than in reality. It happens at schools all the time. My mum forgot to get me a few times. I fell asleep in the car (parked) whilst waiting to pick up DS 1 (pregnant with DS2). Woke up with a start. He'd been waiting 20 mins or so...I felt awful. We really do beat ourselves up.
Men don't do this!

Jan24680 · 20/11/2025 08:14

I wouldn't give it another thought, it's a one off, your child was safe. Hopefully your child isn't too upset. My parents were not home when I got off the school bus a few times when I was growing up. It was horrible but eventually they gave me a key and I got used to it.

Jan24680 · 20/11/2025 08:17

I wouldn't give it another thought, it's a one off, your child was safe. Hopefully your child isn't too upset. My parents were not home when I got off the school bus a few times when I was growing up. It was horrible but eventually they gave me a key and I got used to it.

cafenoirbiscuit · 20/11/2025 08:18

Don’t worry - lots of us have done it. I always was mortified and apologetic - sounds like you’re the same. I bought some biscuits and sent a thank you card to the staff for being so understanding

HopelesslyOptimistic · 20/11/2025 08:27

Like everyone has said don't be so hard on yourself. I recall being up a ladder, covered in paint and realising it was an end of term early pick up. I turned up with a packet of biscuits.

Ballabingballbongdoosh · 20/11/2025 08:45

Honestly don't worry

A few years ago there was a newsletter for a club for my DD and to bring clothes for the club.

Me being me, briefly scanned the letter

My DD's school finishes at 3:30pm

At 4:00pm I got a call asking where I was, I said oh was the club only for half an hour?

They said no, the club was at dinner time 🤣🙈

AzureFinch · 20/11/2025 10:10

Your husband is a three minute walk away why are you doing everything?

LyssaMoon · 21/11/2025 07:40

As someone who runs my school's after-school club.... Don't worry about it, it happens all the time. I'm sure your husband apologised when he picked up and that's all that is needed... I personally wouldn't email or anything simply cos it takes up precious time that working in a school, we just don't have enough of.

JustYourAveregeMillennialMam · 21/11/2025 13:12

Only good parents worry if they’re good parents!

My mother didn’t turn up for me and my brother once. This was obviously way back when, no mobiles etc. The head teacher rung the house and my mother answered, she said she had an emergency she was dealing with and didn’t realise the time. She turned up to school with pillow marks on her face 😂😂😂 turned out she was having an emergency nap.

I haven’t done it quite yet but I’ve got a good few years of school pick ups left so I’m positive I will at some point 😂

Usernamenotav · 22/11/2025 19:54

You're absolutely fine!! It was a mistake, happens all the time. Please don't stress yourself out over this.
Email them to apologise but don't give it another thought after that.

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