Betrayed by my SIL!

[betrayed12]

Wondering if people will see this from my side.
I am heavily pregnant but have had previous miscarriages and this one has been high risk too. Because of this, I didn’t tell anyone about my pregnancy and only told my DB (as I knew he would tell his wife) a few weeks ago. I don’t have a great relationship with my aunts etc and so stressed to DB to make sure to keep my pregnancy a secret from extended family. Anyway, I found out that my SIL told one of my aunts about my pregnancy and now everyone knows.
Firstly, I’m so angry at her as it wasn’t her news to share and secondly I TOLD DB specifically to make sure no one else is told. I honestly think she’s done it on purpose as we don’t really get on, we’ve had a massive argument not too long ago and she knew this would annoy me.
Called her out and she’s saying it slipped out and she’s sorry. AIBU to not believe her?

You have to be realistic here as well though OP.

Given you’ve made it clear you don’t want people to know you’re having a baby, don’t be too surprised when they don’t rush to congratulate you or have anything to do with the baby when it arrives, given that you’ve made it clear you don’t want them involved with it.

This is the thing with these people who are so controlling over their pregnancies and subsequent babies.

They keep everyone at arm’s length until they decide that they want everyone involved, and are then miffed when those people aren’t interested in playing those games.

It's very strange to hid a pregnancy from family as late as you are saying. The only person I know who has has mental health issues. it is your news to tell but I can understand why your db and dsil are worried about you.

Makes a change from MIL's🤣

I am sorry for your losses and wish you a successful pregnancy, but you must know that the outcome of a pregnancy is not affected in the slightest by people knowing about it.

This. Totally fine to keep it a secret for a few months but to full term - no way.
This is on you for telling DB OP. You knew he would tell his wife and that she has a big gob.

It was your news to tell. I think the mistake you made was telling your brother. The problem is you can tell people to keep it to themselves, but people don’t. They either genuinely forget it’s a secret, or they like being the person spreading fresh gossip and so do it deliberately. Very few people are discreet or trustworthy.

The lesson you need to take away is don’t tell your brother anything that you don’t want the world knowing - he actually started the gossip chain, your SIL just carried it on.

Honestly, if you’re past the 20 week stage and everything looks healthy, there is nothing to be gained from hiding it.
if the worst comes to the worst, it will be much harder to have gone through another loss in secrecy…
Im writing this as someone who went through a traumatic premature birth (almost a still birth) , and we heavily relied on the support of our friends and family throughout the hardest time of our lives.

I realise it is a private matter, but it’s such a shame that baby loss is still such a taboo subject when so many women go through it. I wish you could feel supported rather than scared of sharing your good news.

I am sorry that this happened to you OP. When you are holding your lovely baby and looking forward to all of the wonderful things you have to look forward to this will seem so insignificant.

I accidentally concealed a pregnancy until full term. I am quite short and I have babies well over nine pounds. During my first pregnancy I just assumed it was obvious. Then two days before my due date I mentioned it in passing at a large gathering and it turned out nobody knew.

So you’ve managed to make it to “heavily pregnant” without having to see or speak to the family members you don’t really get on with, and because you couldn’t keep your secret, it’s now SILs fault (but not your brothers for telling her in the first place) for blabbing to your aunts who you don’t get on with.

Of course you’re being unreasonable irrespective if your SIL is a massive bellend. If you’d have taken your own advice nobody would have been any the wiser…

Yeah it doesn't slip out, what a nob.