How do you stop yourself wanting all the things?

[Gettingabitnippynow]

I’m not a materialist person at all, but have just been to pick up a few Christmas bits for Dd and I just want all the things. They’re not particularly expensive, but would be to buy them all. Christmas candles, Christmas mugs, pjs, teddies, wooly hats, jumpers etc etc. Do you all buy all these things or just ignore? I realise it’s a bit silly to buy new every year and a waste when I have last years xmas mugs and pjs.
Just wish I was wealthy sometimes!

Not sure why you’d want to buy Xmas tat, but just ignore the urge.

Waste of money. 🤷‍♀️

I'm massively materialistic - I attach a huge amount of value to 'stuff' and I don't know why. Not Christmas stuff as I don't like Christmas. But in general, yes, I 'want all the things' too.

My two biggest rules that help me:

1. I never buy anything new (except food, toiletries, underwear etc). Charity shops, Vintage shops/fairs, Vinted, Ebay, Facebook Marketplace, car boot sales and second hand markets only.

2. I never shop or look at things to buy online when I am feeling sad or stressed. Those emotions make me want to buy so much more stuff that I do not need.

Genuine tips from a recovering over-spender: remember that all of this stuff will be in a landfill in a few years. Things that can feel so important now, you'll have forgotten about in a few months and thrown away. Then the cycle will repeat!

And remember that buying stuff means looking after it - do you have the space? Do you want to be dusting/cleaning it all the time? No one really wants to wash 10 blankets or clear dust off 20 candles

We don't tend to go mad about Xmas, but when other half and I got together, every year we buy a couple of tree decorations. The rule is that they had to be a little whacky, amusing or reflective of the kind of year we've just had. We've quite the collection now, cats, robots, dinosaurs, spacemen, flying saucers, all sorts of stupidity. Even a cat one licking it's bum with a santa hat on which is my fav. Nice memories.

The rest of the stuff out there is just not needed or wanted. I already have nice crockery etc that comes out on special occasions, don't need or want xmas themed ones so I guess easy for us to not buy anything!

What is it that makes you want them? I think that is what you need to address. You say you wish you were wealthy, so is the underlying wish for a higher paid job and if so how can you work towards that?

When my kids were little I did start buying things like Xmas PJ's but then realised it was ridiculous having these specific Xmas PJ's as they would only get worn for a few weeks (assuming they are given on 1st Dec). If you wanted to still do PJ's I would now approach it as winter PJ's that can be worn other times.
Having a special mug for Christmas should be the novelty itself, not getting a new one each year but the excitement of knowing it's Christmas because that mug comes out. Buy some different hot chocolate to try (lots of supermarkets are doing different flavours this year) and this can be the something new if that's what you crave.
Candles are just tat in my opinion so can't really comment on those. Jumpers I size up so they last at least two years, and I try and get something unisex so both my children can wear the item. Depending on how old your child is means that you will find that they don't want or even need that many festive items. When mine were little I loved having them wear Christmas clothes all through December but now they only wear anything christmassy on school Xmas jumper day and Christmas day!

I allow myself one or two new Xmas decorations a year, usually something for the tree or a room decoration. I see it as a gradual collection that brings us joy each year.

I sort of do this, especially with online purchases - put it in my basket and leave it there for a few days. If I still really want it then I'll buy it.
But also, I don't do tat. My mum used to buy ALL the tat, house was full of crap.

I never want anything aside from books and the odd video game. I have to force myself to buy new clothes.

Do you ever think about landfill @WanderlustMom or is it just not really on your radar?

Oooh, I like the three-day rule. I have the same rule but just 24 hours. Think I will extend it. You're right - usually you don't care about it anymore after some time has passed.

Who's to say what's tat, though? One man's tat is another man's treasure!

What helps me OP is the pictures of all those clothes and junk going to land fill or being shipped abroad. Sending stuff to charity shops might relieve guilt but often they have too much tat too. I also picture the shipping containers crossing the ocean full of stuff that is just designed to be replaced all the time and all the new plastic being used to make this stuff. Consumerism is designed to make you want the new thing rather than the thing you already own but it helps to try to avoid getting sucked in and be your own person. It's hard I know.

I find that I get a lot of pleasure from just window-shopping. I can enjoy the things and look at them, but I don't have to buy them.

Candles aren't tat - they are consumable! They give cheerful light and warmth and maybe a scent, you can use them all up, and then use the jar!

I’m like this so I tend to shop online as there’s less temptation. I don’t do much social media either as I can get fomo. I will occasionally go to a Xmas market or even somewhere like bnm and have a splurge.

I understand because sometimes I’m the same, I don’t need the latest phone because mine is fine until it breaks. I don’t need all the latest games cause you can only play one at a time right? But sometimes you just wish you could do a fun shop without worrying about money and get whatever you fancy. Unfortunately things are just getting harder for everyone!

I am easily seduced by shiny glittery gifty sort of things and over the years have wasted money on them. While the feelings never really go it has eased off as I have grown older and can look back and realise that the feeling I got when I bought a new piece of frivolity was so transient, and the lovely thing soon lost its allure

Delay not deny. Don't tell yourself you can't have it, tell yourself you need to think a couple of days on it. When you are out of the shop/off the website its out of sight out of mind.

This is why advertisers want to get their adverts in front of the right audience at the right time, you are most likely to buy the thing you've seen recently.

I imagine the item I want in a charity shop. Works a treat. (I do buy from charity shops but this for me works all the same).

I recently did a kitchen glow up, decluttered the surfaces, changed the wall art (put some art postcards in frames I anlready had) and left out a few coordinating jugs/ornaments I already had but generally had a lot more empty space. I was surprised how much better it looked with more space and just a few of my favourite old things on display. Clutter is the enemy it really is. I do have a Christmas table runner and a couple of tealight holders I will still put out at Christmas but I’m definitely trying to stick with less is more. It actually makes you happy once you get a declutter mindset.

Have any of these comment helped @Gettingabitnippynow?

If not, go to YouTube and watch ‘Money Game 2’ by Ren. It’s thought provoking and very clever. You won’t see consumerism the same way afterwards.

Is that you mum? 😂

🤣🤣🤣 Yes, and I think you're very rude about all my treasures, young lady!

I like mugs, too. And I use them to death. I keep them for decades until they literally fall apart in my hands. Usually the handle becomes detached after about 20 years.

I think holidays are a total waste of money, as well as bad for the planet.

We are all different!