I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable, and I’m open to hearing other perspectives.
I’ve been married to my DH for 18 years, together for 25, and we’re in our mid-40s.
Every year, I write and send cards to his family parents, siblings, and many nieces and nephews. All the children get £20 in their cards for birthdays and Christmas. His parents receive a nice gift, and a couple of his siblings who don’t have children get a restaurant voucher for them and their partners at Christmas.
In return, we get very little. His parents will put £10 in a card for our birthdays and Christmas, and that’s absolutely fine I don’t give to receive. What bothers me is that, apart from the occasional birthday card, we NEVER get a thank-you, or a simple ‘Merry Christmas’ or ‘Happy Birthday’ message. My husband is one of 9, and some of his siblings have 6 children, so we send out a few hundred pounds each year.
We don’t have children, something we’ve never been able to change and recently we lost our gorgeous little Springer Spaniel. I posted a small tribute on Facebook with a photo, and not a single member of his family offered condolences. His mum sent a brief message saying, “sorry for the loss of the dog,” ‘the dog’ couldn’t even use her name that was it.
Am I being unreasonable to think about just stopping? I hardly see them from one six-month stretch to the next, and honestly, I’m tired of putting in so much effort with nothing coming back.
My DH will just say send it all as normal to stop any issues but i’m honestly thinking of just not bothering any more.