How do you work your finances

[samwiggle9]

How do people work their homes. I get everyone is different. For context. Out of our overall house hold income.
I contribute 29.9% to the household budget. This is 100% of what I earn.
My partner contributes 29.5% of the house hold budget.
He keeps 36.8% for himself on God knows what.
I keep a whole 3.7% for myself (nail appts ECT)
Now I probably do get a little out of the weekly shopping budget picking up random bits but at this point I'm just going off averages.

Husband works 2 jobs. They both pay pretty well. I have no idea why he goes through the amount of money he does. Before anyone says another woman his work is (don't want to use this word) but trackable. Every minute can be accounted for if I look for it. While a bit does go on his business costs and upkeep of the vehicle he does go through a lot of money.

Off the back of this he does not do a single chore in the house, maybe mows the lawn twice a year at a push. I do everything. Cleaning. Cooking. Lunches. Ironings. I drop out child off at school. He picks him up that's all.

I'm unsure when we fell into this routine it hasn't always been like this probably the last 18 months 2 years but I have bought this up mil times the last year and it's falling on deaf ears and now I'm getting resentful that I'm literally just getting the bare minimum of a treat when I also work hard.

I'm just trying to figure out how to either a approach or b just protect my inner peace. At this point I'm beginning to feel like I'd rather be alone then feel alone.

So DH is effectively bringing all the money in AND running the house bar the cooking and changing beds but you are a SAHM? That doesnt sound fair at all.

My DH earned 20 times what I did so he pretty much paid for everything. I paid the deposit on our house but he paid the mortgage and bills. If we earned equal amounts we would have both put in the same - or proportionally the same, to a household account. So if he earned 100k and I earned 50k he would put in twice as much as me. So yes he would end up with more money left over, but as he was a generous guy I expect he’d ‘treat’ us to more things and pay 100%.
So you are doing things the wrong way round. It should be a percentage of earnings, not percentage of expenses.

Everything is joint, finances, childcare, housework etc. We both work full time in remote digital roles with him earning about 10k more than me. Our wages are paid into our joint account then we each transfer an agreed upon sum into our personal accounts for "fun money", usually around £2-300 a month each.

Your DH sounds awful, what do you get out of the relationship? It sounds like you do everything and are left with no money whilst he has a life of riley and loads of disposable income.

My situation is the same as the above.

OP this absolutely isn't fair. You'd probably better off, emotionally and financially, separated from him. What is your pension situation, does his have one, do you, are they similar amounts?

We both earn roughly the same. Pay half each of all bills and holidays, rest is ours to do whatever. But we have no kids.

You (both of you) need to work out a proper budget that includes everything that is spent on the household, not just what is spent on regular bills. So that would include car maintenance, holidays and the dog groomer.

It's clear that you, as a household have less "spare" money than you suggested in your original post, but you actually don't know how much spare money you do have. It's hard to argue that you personally have less money to spend on yourself, when you don't know actually how much money is available hence why a proper budget is crucial.

You should contribute in proportion to you income, if he earns twice as much he puts twice as much as you in the kitty. If he works a lot of hours I suppose it's inevitable you do more in the house but he should do his bit at weekends at least.

All money in one (leaky) pot.
All jobs shared.

We have never had a joint account.

It suited both of us because we needed to make quick decisions with our investments.

The disparity financially was nit huge and some moving of money round occurred and the chores were shared far more evenly.

Once we were married everything went into the one pot. Big purchases such as cars are discussed but generally we don’t question what each of us spends.
We work together as a team.

We split our bills 50/50 but he's self employed and has thousands in the bank (including an inheritance) whereas I always have 0 in the bank at the end of the month. I don't have hardly any "fun" money. It all goes on expenses.

If I want more "spare" money I need to work more but I won't until my dogs go to doggy heaven.

Do everything and pay for everything myself as dont live with partner

Same here.

When making big purchases we usually just let each other know but it all comes from one joint account - the bills, the free spending money . I cant imagine working out all the %s, or splitting things seperately with my husband. We're a family, a team.

I do know I just didn't think it was anyones business our exact finances. But ok....

As a whole income our monthly income this month was just under 6k

1725 is my wages which went into the house hold budget
1700 he transferred into the house hold budget.

Out of household budget that covers house, council tax, water, tv license, broadband, phone contracts, childs ec activities, food (this is high) car insurances, normal holiday payments, any days outs, Xmas presents.... I probably do scrape a bit out of the shopping budget picking random bits up every now and again but it's not going to be astronomical here. Our weekly food budget is 200 a week so I'm not here to say I never get any treats. We don't have any debts.

After that there's 2.5k ish. I had £150. I paid for the dog groomer because I had cash 4 months ago he paid for the dog groomer it was a representation of what this moneys gone on this time.... Out of that he covers his own car repairs he always has done his own car repairs. That's never fell in the house hold fund. Keeping in mind he's not fixing his car every month. So out of 2k ish he's done his own car.

My bonus covered an extra holiday next year so we're having two. That was a little extra plan.

This was never me saying I don't ever get anything it's more that I don't feet equal. I'm a grown woman and I feel like I have to ask for an extra 20 quid.

I earn much more, i work hard to earn well so that i can pay for my hobbies (horses and cars) - i don't want anyone dipping in to my fun money! 😂
If we had joint finances and shared out the fun money equally, i would have to sell a couple of horses and a car more than likely. Then there's no incentive for me to do said job where i earn well....

Another vote for everything is shared.

We have a main joint account that both incomes go into, all bills come out of there. We have a shared credit card that is paid out of that account too.

We occasionally have individual savings but that is only because there are often accounts with the best rates that have to be in a sole name, we still treat it as joint money though.

We are each free to spend money out the joint account however we want.

This works as neither of us tend to be huge spenders, I probably have a habit of buying silly little things a bit more often but usually inexpensive.

There is no official agreement but out of respect we both naturally discuss any large purchases with each other first, not asking permission but discussing (often because deep down I know it is a terrible and unnecessary purchase and am hoping my wife will be the voice of reason and tell me I am being stupid).

To us we are a single family unit, and we decide how to spend the family money. That also flows onto other jobs, we try to work as a unit and make sure neither one of us is carrying too much of ether the physical load (dishes, bins, hovering etc) or the mental load (planning food for the week, making shopping lists, planning play dates, doctors appts etc).

In families where one person does all the domestic work, that is normally in exchange for being financially supported by their spouse.

This arrangement has nothing in it for you! He gets to keep a whole load of extra money and do absolutely nothing in the house. What do you get?

It doesn’t sound like he respects you tbh. He just lets you do everything.

Do you think this is fair? Would you recommend this? This sounds a ridiculous way of arranging finances, as though your other half doesn’t value you as a person at all.

We don’t share out any money. We just spend what we want to spend. Do you think that if you pooled finances your other half would whine if you spent money on your hobbies? If so he’s fairly pathetic, seeing as they give you pleasure. My OH earns a bit more than me. We pool everything. He buys lots of bikes. It doesn’t bother me as his purchases don’t leave the family forgoing anything, and it makes him happy. I wouldn’t dream of buying anything to a similar value just for the sake of it. That’s just daft.

I do most of the jobs because he has a long commute and I don’t. Me doing the bulk of the jobs means we both have equal downtime.

Agree with this. You'd be just giving your money away.

But why should he give me money he's earned?

Are you married and or have children?

are chores also shared?

How can someone have so much money and see the person they love struggling to afford any luxury

@samwiggle9 the chores need sharing as well

I wouldn't share with ex husband as he could fritter money left right and centre and bills wouldn't be paid

How does this work though if, for example, your earnings continued to rise and his didnt? Would you see him struggling while you enjoyed more expensive restaurants, holidays etc? Im always curious when people dont pool and theres a big difference in wages. My husband earns more than me and theres no way he'd "keep" his money from me. We both work hard, his sector just pays more.

We're not married but we've been together 16 years.
I have grown up children (17-29) but none are his.
I mainly do the chores but I'm a bit lazy so it's the bare minimum. If he wants a spotless house he can clean it.