To still be annoyed at MIL about this??

[Swindlesong]

Last new year, when DD was a baby, we decided to spend the evening with DH’s parents. We don’t live nearby, so we’re tying this in with seeing other family. I was holding my baby in my arms and DH’s mum walked over and put her hands out and took her from me. Granted, I let her, but she is quite a dominant character and I wanted us to have a nice evening. It was a few minutes before midnight, and I was very torn. I thought to myself, “don’t ask for DD back, she’ll give her to you before the bells”. But she didn’t. She held her, and then gave her a big kiss on the bells. She was only 2 months old.

Am I totally ridiculous that this still upsets me? MIL hasn’t been particularly nice to me over the years and it felt like she just wanted to steal that moment from me. Please don’t flame me for this. Genuinely trying to gauge if I am BU.

Get a grip. Do you even hear how ridiculous this sounds?

This. My MIL does the kind of things described by the OP. Arguably insignificant on their own but the more they'd happen and I'd struggle to speak up, the more they'd eat at me and I'd dwell on what I should have said or done which probably upset me more than the incidents themselves. The answer is to be stronger, speak up and put boundaries in place, which I'm trying to do, but it's a work in progress as it doesn't come naturally. Looking forward to getting to the point you're at @Sugargliderwombat

OP, speaking from experience, please don't let this eat at you. As a PP suggested, speaking to your husband about these and being on the same page could make all the difference.

You needed to speak up. If you didn't want to hand your baby over to your MIL, then you shouldn't have done so, and said no. If you wanted your baby back for the bells at midnight, then you needed to tell her. I'm not saying your MIL isn't difficult but when someone is more dominant, you have to make sure you advocate for yourself - loudly. Equally, if you don't say anything, your MIL isn't a mind-reader either. You need to stand up for yourself and your child. Personally, it wouldn't enter my head that my baby should be in my arms for the bells at midnight. I don't see the importance of it to be honest. However, it was important to you, so therefore you should have said something to your MIL.

'Ooh, I bagsy being her first kiss at midnight! Throw her back over her, MIL, thanks!" All said while laughing and smiling. Easy. I'd have done that without a second thought and I'm very non-confrontational.

I really would let this go. It doesn't sound like she was being mean but, for some reason you are holding onto this. I honestly couldn't even tel you where we were during the bells for either of my children. x

Well aren't you nice 🙄