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Ex using pictures of me online

27 replies

TheLilacZebra · 16/11/2025 23:23

Hello, I’m going to try and condense this down. Apologies if this isn’t the right place to post either. I tried legal matters too.

It has been brought to my attention that my ex has been using pictures with my face showing and sending them to people online.

Background: we ended 1.5 years ago when a few days before I gave birth to our child. He was harmful, abusive towards both me and our newborn. He walked out and prioritised drink and drugs. We’ve been in a year long contact case with court. Our next hearing is a fact finding hearing to see if he really did the things I claim he did or “not” in the eyes of the court to see how contact can move forward.

When I was with him I found messages on his phone on Reddit messaging men telling them that he would pay to fly me out to them for sexual nature. This mightn’t seem “bad” but too me finding it whilst pregnant I felt violated. He was telling them I was beside him and acting as if I was part of the plan. Which was not. I did not confront him or tell him I saw these messages.

however NOW, it has been brought to my attention he is still using the same app. He has been spending hundreds of pounds on the app for his sexual pleasures and fantasy’s. This is going to sound bizarre and I didn’t know a world like this existed.
I found out he has been calling me his wife on these apps. He’s messaged these people saying “I’d choose you over my wife and child any day”.

He then went on to ask them if he could send a photo of him and his wife. He proceeds to send a photo of me and him together. It’s not a sexual image, but in the context of the conversation he is telling this person it’s turning him on and that he wanted this person to belittle me and tell him how ugly his wife is.
Obviously this is fantasy. But I was already petrified of him over how he treated me after giving birth. Then the lies he has told in court up to this point. This has taken it to a differently level where I feel completely violated.

I’m not sure if what I’m saying even makes sense but I’ve tried to condense it down. Legally is he allowed to be doing this? Is this normal?? I have to face him at my door 2 x a week for handover.

I know it sounds bizarre but it doesn’t seem like mentally well. I’m only posting to gain some advice, please don’t ask how I have found out about the images. If I was able to go into the full context of everything he has done it would make more sense.

OP posts:
QueenClinomania · 18/11/2025 18:57

You need to tell the police and the court that you fear for your safety. He has been offering you up and you are terrified some man will come to your door one night because he's set it up.

TheLilacZebra · 28/11/2025 17:25

Just an update. I phoned the police 2 nights ago, they came out and spoke to me about it. They themselves had very colourful language for what he is / was doing. Unfortunately as the image wasn’t explicit he technically hasn’t done anything illegal. However, I’d worry what more he has sent on other sites as I know I just got “lucky” to find this one picture.

in terms of court, my barrister messed up. I told her to hold back. She said no and we went forward into the court of evidence. My solicitor didn’t submit the statement correct so the judge stopped me. He has given another month to get things sorted. That means my ex has heard all my evidence and also now knows that I knew about his disgusting messages. He gets away with everything again. Typical

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