Sorry, long post!
Okay, so I'm a stay at home mum of 3, all 5 and under and currently trying for our 4th that we both really want. My husband and I both have agreed that having them closer in age is what we want, so no problem there. However, I'm keen on having about 6 kids, but my husband thinks 4 is plenty. The thing I struggle with is the fact that I do the majority of housework, parenting, discipline and pretty much everything else. He's a great husband and dad when he sets his mind to it, but he does struggle to be motivated/ engaged with both the kids and I, and I'm starting to feel like it's always going to be me doing everything. He doesn't really play with the kids, and is quite strict (think that's from his childhood) and it feels like often daily tasks are a burden. How do I help him step up without it seeming as though I'm criticizing or nagging? As both of those things aren't helpful but he also shuts down pretty quick if he feels attacked. I also don't know why he gets to feel like more than 4 is too many when I'm doing all the work, and he often complains about being tired etc, when I'm doing a lot worse on the sleep front. And I try really hard to stay positive and not complain, and I absolutely love being a mum too, so it's easier than not. He works hard, but it's an office job with 3 days of 5 in his home office, so mentally tiring but not too draining. I'm wondering if he may have a mental health issue such as depression, he's not very healthy but again, unmotivated. Sometimes I feel like he's a completely different person than who I married, but after 7 years and 3 kids, maybe he is! Just don't know what to do tbh. I do really love him and want this to work, just at a bit of a loss, because how much should you have to tell a grown man before they're just another child you're parenting?