Would you class this as flirting? DH with shop assistant

[Bex39]

DH is adamant I am being OTT and he was just being polite but I disagree. Please help settle this for me.

We were in a shop which sells chocolate and he was at the till with me next to him.

Shop assistant - those (the chocolates DH was buying) are my favourites

DH - I would eat so much chocolate if I worked here

SA - tell me about it, I can’t help myself with the samples

DH - you couldn’t tell by your figure

SA - you are being too kind

DH - seriously, you are in great ‘nick’

SA - laughs

How revolting. I would be horrified and consider it completely unacceptable if DH complimented another woman on her body whether I was there or not. The fact that you were right there is unbelievably disrespectful to you, and utterly cringe for the shop assistant. I hope you went around the store telling the young salesmen how fit they were.

Creepy, not flirty. I am sure she was rolling her eyes in her mind.

Omg I work in a shop and have since 16 the amount of men usually in their 50s who are creepy to the young girls is gross. Trust me it hasn't made our day where trying not to vomit

He’s from a different era, stuck in his ways sadly no matter how hard I try to educate him.

I used to loathe men making comments on my body /appearance at work. It's grim behaviour.

And yeah. It's flirting.

Our concern is not for how the OP feels - it’s for how the shop assistant feels.

Your DH might well be charming, kind and funny.

We aren’t talking about charming, kind and funny.

We’re talking about creepy, disrespectful and inappropriate

All of this. All of it.

I lost my figure due to heavy steroids, and honestly I am just relieved not to get unsolicited attention from creepy men any more.

Are you actually still attracted to him? Curious!

🤮

What if somebody actually told him to shut the fuck up, you creep perv?

Would he get that his fossilized sexism is inappropriate, to say the least?

If he's learned to use modern technology and appliances and he's been working, he knows that commenting on people's bodies in unacceptable behaviour. He's choosing to be stuck because he's a sexist ass

You said he’s 54? What the hell?

What different era? That kind of behaviour hasn’t been appropriate since before I worked in retail over 30 years ago.

Ot hasn’t been appropriate for the whole of your DH’s adult lifetime

Yes, I remember working as a shop assistant age 16 and getting constant comments from old men on my body. I found it pretty bizarre as most of them were older than my (youngish) dad.

I would give an awkward laugh and move away. You can't be rude to them as your working. I highly doubt your DH made her day OP, unless she was a similar age and found him attractive? Either way, he's definitely flirting, and it's ick if there's a big age gap.

Age is not an excuse to leer at women and make comments about their bodies. The poor woman was just trying to do her job.

It's fine to chat. I am northern, I love to chat to randoms about all sorts.

It's not ok to comment on people's appearance or figure though. Particularly in a context where there isn't an equal power dynamic (eg employee/customer or junior staff member/boss)

if I were you I’d be embarrassed and also annoyed. If you are uncomfortable and his actions make you feel so, that needs to be listened to - not dismissed. Don’t know how old you are but this also sounds quite young behaviour.

Yuck. I guess he has a hefty bank balance or something and thats why you turn a blind eye to his lack of respect for you or women in general

Front runner in the cool wife Olympics!

I hated when I worked in a supermarket and sleazy men made those kind of remarks and you had to smile politely rather than say what you really thought.
He may have been attempting to flirt (vom) but she was likely just waiting till her shift ended.

I hope you show him this thread OP. Different era indeed, he sounds like a right twat.

Having worked in retail when I was younger, I used to hate these sort of comments from men, it's just creepy and not appreciated.

54 isn't from a different era! He's a sleeze with those comments. I'm assuming he's older than you, guess he has a thing for younger women. Don't accuse him of flirting as that comes across as jealousy, tell him he's a dirty old man.

He thinks he made her day.
That's because he believes that commenting positively on a woman's looks or body is the greatest compliment you can bestow on her...what with a woman's purpose being to look ornamental for men.

"Well done for being attractive to me. You're doing a great job."

Not sure he's a flirt so much as a pillock.

Sleazy as hell.. just imagine what he’s saying when you’re not there 🤢

I wouldn’t like this at all if my husband did this. It’s sleazy and quite disrespectful to you. I’m not excessively jealous but there’s no need for that behaviour.

I also think to not be bothered at all by this behaviour from your partner is a bit strange.

Disrespectful to you and her, what a sleezebag.

Completely agree