To not understand people who talk about being the first in their family to go to uni like it’s a badge of honour?

[Kyrgyzstan]

Sorry if this sounds dismissive of their achievements but isn’t it less of a rags to riches tale of personal achievement and more of a generational difference? I mean barely any of our parents generation went to university and now it’s pretty much expected if you want a half way decent job.

Obviously if you were raised by heroin addicts and managed to still get good grades and go off to uni that’s different but the children of ordinary parents who just didn’t go to university talking about it like a huge achievement sounds a little strange to me?

When I went to university in 1976 (yes, the first in my family and the first on the mining community estate where I lived), only 7% of young people went - now it's closer to 50%. There were far fewer places, so it was a lot harder to get one.

The vast majority of young people left school at 16 and went into jobs,

When I was a young woman in the 1960s higher education was beginning to expand. Yet still very few people from working class backgrounds went. They often faced opposition from their family, as I did. My father actually used expressions like "you have ideas above your class". My parents had no respect for education and felt it was disrespectful to them for their children to want something other than working in a low wage job. My father also said "Whats the use of educating a girl when your only going to get married and have babies." He was not impressed when I told him I never inhtended to have children.

Guess what? I am still child free and have never once regretted it.

When I did finally fulfil my ambition to go to uni I was in my early 40s. There were still LA grants then and higher education had opened up considerably. I took a huge gamble in leaving a well paid job and taking a financial hit. It changed my life and showed me a world I had only ever dreamed of. The day I got my doctorate was one of the proudest in my life. I knew how far I had come from the little two-up-two-down house by the railroad track where I was born,

So yes, I was proud of being the first in my family.

Being a young mother is a choice. You didn't go because of your choices. Those of us who did made choices and sacrifices that allowed us to go because we recognised we didn't have the luxury of mustakes

Ok well I was technically the first in my family to go to college and I only thought about that halfway through this thread. Is it a huge achievement because my parents didn’t do it? No because not many people did in their day. I am proud that I did it while taking a baby though but my parents are irrelevant

Thanks for this comment. It’s exactly the point I’m trying to make, times have changed

My brother was the same, he felt like he was going up in the world despite most people in the family doing extremely well in trades. Stopped talking to a few older relatives because they weren't intellectual enough, couldn't shut him up about how important education and university was and now he's underperforming compared to the rest of us despite a law degree he decided wasn't his calling.

Yes - We are agreeing with each other!

Young people with graduate parents have a 72% probability of going to university - it’s 34% with non-graduate parents. Source: UK Data Service.

I think it's like loads of things - let people be proud of themselves and their achievements (but if they bang on about them incessantly it's probably going to get annoying.

Neither of my parents went to university (one was from a social class/background where it wouldn't have been expected, especially for a woman; the other was a bit of a renegade youth). They were born early/mid 50s. My siblings and I are 70s kids - it was very much expected we would go to university and didn't feel like we were breaking new ground at all. It's not something I can remember ever talking to anyone about.

But... one of my teenagers is in a relationship with a girl who will potentially be the first in her family to go to university. And her parents are terrified about it all - really concerned about her safety in a strange city, worried about the debt, no real idea how to support her with the open days/applications etc. I think a big part of them would like her to stay at home and get a job - that feels much more normal to them. Financially, I'd guess our family set-ups are fairly similar, but she is swimming against the tide by applying in a way that my own kids really aren't, and I can see that that might feel like something to be proud of.

Its definitely a generational and a may be even a class thing. So....

DH parents very working class background, deprived black country. Didn't have any formal education post 16. FIL ended up CEO of FTSE company. Different times indeed. DH didn't go to Uni, although his sisters did. They have had middling careers, middle earners. DH was high earner, top in his field, everyone always very surprised he didn't go to Uni.

My parents, farmers and landowners. Neither went to Uni. I didn't go to Uni. I had a middling career, SAHM for last 20 years, but somewhat independently wealthy.

I would say half of our friends went to Uni, but all are private business owners.

Both my DD's have gone to Uni. One doing very, very well in STEM. The other just starting out in the world of work. Who knows where they will end up.

Thank you!

What @Kyrgyzstan is refusing to acknowledge is how challenging attending university can be for first generation students. As others have pointed out, it isn't just about 'getting in' it's also about navigating the university process and journey. I distinctly remember feeling like people were speaking a different language and while my parents were immensely proud of me going to university they couldn't help me because they didn't know what was going on either!

Again, this just isn't true. Almost everyone I know in their 50s and 60s went to university.

Yup. The women on my mum’s side of the family were all mill workers or in service. The men were coal miners. Most left school at 14. The eldest aunt’s reward for being clever was to be told that she could sit her leaving cert at 12 and go into service on a farm.

When their children gained places at universities, it was indeed an achievement.

How strange considering a quick google reveals this:

In 1960, approximately
5% of people went to university in the UK. This figure was around 4% in the early 1960s, and it is the percentage of all school leavers who went on to higher education.

• Percentage: About 5% of people went to university in 1960.
• Context: In the early 1960s, only about one in 20 young people entered higher education.
• Progression: This percentage increased to around 14% by the end of the 1970s.

No one in my family went to university, they didn't even go to college! They were mostly unemployed or went into low paid job's straight from school. I only got to do a degree because my employer sponsored me, otherwise it would have never been an option for a girl from a council estate with unemployed/addict parents. I don't talk about it but I am proud & most importantly grateful & I truly wish that these kind of opportunities were available to everyone ❤️

All of this. Mum left school at 14. Dad left at 10.

I’m grateful that they supported me when I wanted to go to uni in 1978.

It's nothing like that! I was incredibly proud when my daughter was the first in our family to go to university, and a Russell Group one at that. And I was absolutely beside myself with pride when she graduated with a 2.1 Hons. I was determined that my children would have the chance of higher education, and I would have done literally anything to fund it. I was born into a working-class family in the 50s and started work at 16 - my parents considered it a great concession when they allowed me to stay on for another year rather than leaving at 15, even though I passed my 11-plus and went to grammar school. They regarded any education for girls as a waste of time and money.

I don't think my children think that going to uni is anything other than the norm, but to me, it was tangible proof that I'd managed to discard all of the working-class indoctrination that I'd always railed at and a fantastic way of sticking two fingers up to the entire family. I don't think you have any right to be sneery about it or to trivialise other people's achievements or their pride in them, especially as it isn't anything you've managed to achieve thus far!

I'm curious which generation you're talking about and what you consider "back in the day" to be. Both my grandparents were university educated (born in the early 1900s and earlier), which was the expectation at the time. Their parents were also well educated.

That aside, it is often a huge achievement to be the first in a family to go on to further education, as some face open hostility from family who don't value education or fear they'll no longer be able to related to their children. I imagine it can be scary, if you don't have family to tell you what to expect from the Uni experience, how to choose the best uni and course for you; and it's a definite barrier to not have parents who move in the 'right' circles to help you get work placements/work experience/internships and jobs on graduation.

People who are in their 50/60’s weren’t going to uni in the 1960’s.

Hi,me too, unemployed and disabled parents and raised below the bread line and i100% agree! I was extremely academic, had I been just averagely clever id never have found the steps up I did to succeed. I took wish the experience was more uniform for everyone

My parents were born in the 1960s someone else up thread tried to say almost everyone they knew went in the 50s and 60s and I googled and found this
In 1960, approximately
5% of people went to university in the UK. This figure was around 4% in the early 1960s, and it is the percentage of all school leavers who went on to higher education.

• Percentage: About 5% of people went to university in 1960.
• Context: In the early 1960s, only about one in 20 young people entered higher education.
• Progression: This percentage increased to around 14% by the end of the 1970s.

😂😂

My bad I skim read that post and read it wrong

But why are you talking about the 1960s?! My parents went to uni in the 1960s, and I'm in my fifties now!

The vast majority of people of your age wouldn't have parents who were of university age in the 1960s!

No, I said that almost everyone I know who is currently in their 50s or 60s went to Uni, not that they went in the 1950s or 1960s. I'm in my mid 50s. Guess when I went to university? The 1990s.

But still people born in the 50s would of went in the 70s when it was still only 14%