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AIBU?

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Original poster

to have been uncomfortable about friends boyfriend last night????????

29 replies

fawkeoff · 07/06/2008 18:27

so my good friend invited me to stay at her house last night to have a girlie night in...i had no kids and have been having a shit time so i thought "why not"

there were only a few of us there and her boyfriend....we were playing on the singstar and was drinking through to the early hours..

now my friend was so drunk she couldnt see so crawled to bed, and i was staying on the sofa.......her boyfriend stayed up with me.

so i am sat there carried on drinking and then he started asking me questions
"what do you define as infidelity"
i asked him what he meant
"anything but sex is not infidelity" so i was like well i beg to differ....he then came and sat next to me and i felt super arkward...his hands were almost touching mine so i moved away from him....then he got up said he was going to bed give me this very tight hug and went to kiss me on the lips........now i dont know if i have read too much into this but i feel that he was instigating something.....i actually left around half 7 and got a taxi because i didnt want him to drive me home.........what are your thoughts??????

OP posts:
edam · 07/06/2008 18:27

he's a creep.

Collision · 07/06/2008 18:29

I think you handled it very well. If you had all been drinking then dont read too much into it, but it sounds like he was trying to instigate something.

And I love Singstar!!

TheFallenMadonna · 07/06/2008 18:29

Bleurgh!

Original poster
fawkeoff · 07/06/2008 18:32

no he wasnt drinking that much.....he was on his laptop most of the night....i just feel really arkward now....he had been facebooking me asking if i was gonna get in bed with him and my friend, really explicit but i just laughed it off....he is now pestering me on the msn!!!!!

I feel like i dont want to go to her house again when he is there now, and i certainly dont want to mention anything to her

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PeedOffandPg · 07/06/2008 18:34

YANBU. His behaviour sounds sleazy x 100.

mankymummy · 07/06/2008 18:34

i had a friends husband do this to me when i was six months pregnant !

i think it was just alcohol and nothing like that has happened since. i would advise not to mention it to your friend (not that you said you were thinking of doing that i know...)

SmoothandWilkie · 07/06/2008 18:35

MING - wouldn't have been impressed. Your poor mate

Singstar rocks BTW!

wotulookinat · 07/06/2008 18:35

Urgh. I would tell her. If he is willing to risk coming on to her friend, then god only know what he is doing elsewhere.

Original poster
fawkeoff · 07/06/2008 18:38

i just dont know what to think about him at all....i was upset that he actually thought i would betray my friend and get off with him...ive only been single for 2 weeks!!! i really thought he was a nice bloke before this.

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SmoothandWilkie · 07/06/2008 18:40

Personally I wouldn't say anything at this point because you are not certain of his intentions. It is just a feeling.

Original poster
fawkeoff · 07/06/2008 18:41

i was pretty certain when he went to kiss me on the lips.....and there was a very lingering cuddle...i just turned my head then sat there thinking "what the fuck just happened"

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wotulookinat · 07/06/2008 18:41

What about mentioning the offer of threesomes to your friend then? You could say that, whilst her and her boyfriend (that way it looks like you are assuming she knows and not accusing him of anything)think it is a laugh, it makes you feel uncomfortable.

Original poster
fawkeoff · 07/06/2008 18:47

i know she doesn't know.....because she came for a brew at my house on thursday and said that he mentioned to her he had facebooked me to make surei was still coming up, she knows that we have a banter....and i know she would have mentioned it to me if he had told her what he had wrote to me.....i dont know why i didnt just show her!!!!

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PeedOffandPg · 07/06/2008 18:56

UGH that is awful re the facebook msgs - I would show them to your friend but not make out that it upset you, just say something like "he lost his bottle" as if she had put him up to it (ie same as wotulookinat)

Original poster
fawkeoff · 07/06/2008 19:00

i'm going to have to think carefully about the way i approach this.....this is her firast serious boyfriend in a long time...i havent actually been to their house for months...so i initially thought it was a bit full on with all the facebooking....but for him to have done that last night!!!!! i think if im going to tell her one thing i might as well tell her the whole truth

i dont know what he is like...im assuming that if he is backed into a corner he will retaliate....i dont want to tell her about the meassages and then what if he says "she came on to me when you went to bed" to keep his arse out of the firing line.....so i might as well tell her the lot or nothing at all

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Original poster
fawkeoff · 07/06/2008 19:01

or i could tell him i wont tolerate it again and if he tries i will shop him to her???? i just dont know

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wotulookinat · 07/06/2008 19:18

I just think that, if he is unfaithful in the future, and she comes to you for support, how would you feel knowing that he had come onto you, and how would your friend feel then if you told her.

Original poster
fawkeoff · 07/06/2008 19:30

you are right....i am gonna have to bite the bullet...i mean i could just tell her i was uncomfortable the way he was and could she ask him t oback off a bit....it's not as if i am accusing him of anything to her then is it...she can make her own mind up then cant she????

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colacubes · 07/06/2008 19:40

What a total tosser! You handled it well, but the msn/facebook thing is pushing it IMO, I would have let the rest slide, but to be still, now after a brush off trying to get you to do lord knows what. I would think hard about it, but it may be in your friends best interest to let her know. Usually I would say "say nothing" but hes not for buggering off now is he!!

Give it a few days and see how things progress, but it could well go the other way and he tell his girlfriend you have been trying it on with him, if you leave it much longer to tell her.

You could set him up, so she has definite proof, record his conversation or have her round when hes mailing you.

Good luck!

Original poster
fawkeoff · 08/06/2008 20:13

well things have definately progressed.....to me blocking him on the msn!!!!! total wanker baltantly asked me for sex!!! complete munter, told fim to fuck off...he reckons i want him he could tell!!!!! just told him to back off and blocked him

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OverMyDeadBody · 08/06/2008 20:18

what a creep

well done for blocking him. I'd recommend you don't have anything to do with him from, now on and just ignore any correspondance from him to you, don't get drawn into it at all as any attention will be good attention as far as he's concerned.

Tell your friend too. You owe it to her, she shouldn't be wasting her time with a creep like that.

purpleduck · 08/06/2008 20:22

Tell your friend
seriously.

I don't use msn, but can conversations be saved?
Show her
tell her

What a Jerk.

Original poster
fawkeoff · 08/06/2008 20:27

its just shit because i know she will believe me, but she wont leave him, which makes me a friend down over a total waster...i am torn truly like i haven't got enough problems to deal with

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OverMyDeadBody · 08/06/2008 20:33

she may not leave him stright away but it may help her see what a jerk he is sooner rather than later. No good can come of you not telling her. He's a looser. No one deserves to stay with someone like that.

Original poster
fawkeoff · 08/06/2008 20:36

i know what i have to do but it is sooooo hard. i cant believe he has put me in this position...im not the only friend she has got...why couldn't he hit on someone else??????

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