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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so intrigued by America?

189 replies

hollyblueivy · 11/11/2025 23:18

AIBU to be so intrigued by America and just how vastly different it is to the UK despite both being rich modern nations?

Trump features a lot in the UK news and it has made me look into why the US seem so uncaring. Their systems to help the vulnerable are so different to ours. They have no right to housing so many can easily risk facing homelessness. With no national health service, access to healthcare is much more difficult and expensive, pushing people into deprivation even if they are working.

They don’t seem to have the same socialist heart as the UK and it gives a very much dog eat dog and every man for themselves culture.

I don’t think I fully appreciated this before. Anyone else?

OP posts:
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freakingscared · 15/11/2025 02:01

The thing that shocks me most in USA is the property tax . The concept to pay yearly based on the price of your property repeatedly is shocking

Momtotwokids · 15/11/2025 02:13

hollyblueivy · 11/11/2025 23:18

AIBU to be so intrigued by America and just how vastly different it is to the UK despite both being rich modern nations?

Trump features a lot in the UK news and it has made me look into why the US seem so uncaring. Their systems to help the vulnerable are so different to ours. They have no right to housing so many can easily risk facing homelessness. With no national health service, access to healthcare is much more difficult and expensive, pushing people into deprivation even if they are working.

They don’t seem to have the same socialist heart as the UK and it gives a very much dog eat dog and every man for themselves culture.

I don’t think I fully appreciated this before. Anyone else?

People here do get help with housing, food, phones, and healthcare.

Beekman · 15/11/2025 02:15

freakingscared · 15/11/2025 02:01

The thing that shocks me most in USA is the property tax . The concept to pay yearly based on the price of your property repeatedly is shocking

It’s the equivalent of council tax, that’s all

Toddlerteaplease · 15/11/2025 03:26

Pinkbowls · 12/11/2025 00:09

Did you see the video of the women who rang over 50 churches to ask for a tub of baby formula and all said no bar 4 churches and when she phoned a mosque they said yes straight away.

Why would anyone think a church would give out formula? Surely they would refer people to a food bank.

BeeWitchy · 15/11/2025 03:46

Toddlerteaplease · 15/11/2025 03:26

Why would anyone think a church would give out formula? Surely they would refer people to a food bank.

Well 4 churches and a mosque didn’t turn her down - some people obviously thought they could find a way to help a mother feed a baby.

mathanxiety · 15/11/2025 03:53

freakingscared · 15/11/2025 02:01

The thing that shocks me most in USA is the property tax . The concept to pay yearly based on the price of your property repeatedly is shocking

Property taxes and business taxes are levied by counties and municipalities to pay for all sorts of local schools, services, and resources. As in the UK, you get what you pay for. Perhaps Americans are more used to the idea that the money to pay for all the services they use has to come from somewhere, amd because of the federal / state/ county/ township/ municipality structure, local control is guaranteed. People vote for the county assessor and all of the other officials whose competence makes a difference in their lives, and therefore these officials are accountable. There is a huge degree of local control over the purse strings in the US.

Property taxes provide what residents are willing to pay for on local and county level - local libraries, great SEN provision, police, schools, parks and park district services, public pools, tennis courts, basketball courts, beach volleyball courts, playgrounds, forestry/ tree care, animal control, public health department, streets and sanitation, and building code enforcement, and on the county level water reclamation/ sewage treatment, sheriff dept, courts, public health departments, county jails, county hospitals, and much, much more.

People pay for what benefits them and what benefits others. Ultimately, a municipality that boasts great public services and schools and has a good reputation for public safety is one where your home will likely appreciate in value.

freakingscared · 15/11/2025 04:11

Beekman · 15/11/2025 02:15

It’s the equivalent of council tax, that’s all

No because it’s much more

mathanxiety · 15/11/2025 04:12

Genevieva · 12/11/2025 20:54

All slavery in British colonies was banned in 1833. Because Britain operated a light-touch devolved approach to colonial administration, that meant that the colonies all had to agree. They negotiated, so Westminster offered to pay them the market value of every slave they owned. Remember the colonial residents didn’t pay tax to Britain, so essentially the British taxpayer shouldered the entire burden of paying for their freedom through a loan that was only paid off in 2015.

The slave trade was banned by Britain in 1807. As well as policing the Atlantic and Indian oceans to prevent British vessels from illegally transporting slaves, they took it upon themselves to intercept ships flying the flags of other countries (eg the US and Spain) and free those slaves.

Slavery has not been recognised on English soil since at least the Norman Conquest. Slaves are chattels / property. In English jurisprudence there is no recognition of the ability to own a person because everyone is equal before the law and deserving of the same legal rights under the law. This tradition was clarified in the 17th century with the Habeas Corpus Act 1679 on unlawful detention, the Bill of Rights 1689 and several examples of case law in the 18th century when colonists came to Britain with slaves and the judge Lord Mansfield ruled that they were free men the moment they set foot on English soil and could not be compelled to return to the ship from whence they came. Consequently, slave owners didn’t bring slaves here and had to make do with paid servants instead.

Until 1776, when the thirteen colonies became independent of Britain, that 'light touch' administration of the colonies meant that slavery flourished for over 150 years in what became the United States. This was a time when the vast majority of immigrants to the US came from Britain.

The abolition of slavery didn't stop mill owners of Britain from importing American cotton for many decades afterwards. Britain had its own alternative sources of raw materials in the remainder of its empire too. The looting of the empire remains a major part of the grudge borne by former colonies.

The money made by enslavers went a long way toward building the economy of Britain.

Beekman · 15/11/2025 04:20

freakingscared · 15/11/2025 04:11

No because it’s much more

It is but I was just simplifying it for someone who doesn’t live in the States. It is very broadly the equivalent of council tax but pays for different things. My point was it’s not an extra ‘house value’ tax on top of everything else.

Clarabell77 · 15/11/2025 04:20

YankSplaining · 12/11/2025 00:29

Also - if she called them on the phone, they don’t have any evidence that she even has a baby. People steal baby formula to sell it for money and scammers like to prey on people’s sense of charity.

But the point is that’s not a very “Christian” way to look at it, is it?

mathanxiety · 15/11/2025 04:26

RedTagAlan · 12/11/2025 15:18

That's true. But the fella is probably not going without.

We could play who goes without poker.

I raise you food stamps. Next time the repubs claim there is not enough tax revenue to fund SNAP, people will go without.

It's not as if US Universities are struggling. Not the big ones. Harvard has over 50 billion in endowments, and still begs for donations.

20 Colleges With the Biggest Endowments | The Short List: Colleges | U.S. News (usnews.com)

I don't know why any university would rest on its laurels when it comes to securing its own funding, particularly now that we've all seen what trump is capable of when it comes to academic freedom and federal funding. An independent university sector is vital to the robustness and integrity of research.

The inability of British university administrators to think clearly when it comes to money has led to a crisis in British third level education.

There is enough tax revenue for SNAP, medicaid, and medicare, and the other quality of life support the federal government has provided for many decades now. Money is not the problem. The current iteration of the GOP just has an ideological aversion to the idea of community.

mathanxiety · 15/11/2025 04:37

Clarabell77 · 15/11/2025 04:20

But the point is that’s not a very “Christian” way to look at it, is it?

Either they have cans of formula sitting in the church office or they don't.

I suspect the point of the 'called 50 churches' spiel was to bash churches. The level of support throughout the US that is offered by organisations such as Catholic Charities is massive. Catholic Charities in Chicago alone feeds meals to over 30,000 people per week and stocks food banks that serve approximately 55,000 per week, in addition to thousands of meals on wheels weekly.

Even in deeply rural regions where Catholics are very much in the minority and their neighbours think the Pope is the antichrist, Catholic dioceses and parishes provide for the pressing practical needs of the poor - paying utility bills, providing direct food assistance, diapers, clothing, etc.

RememberBeKindWithKaren · 15/11/2025 04:55

I don't follow why for Americans it's still seen as completely normal, ( ignoring religious beliefs) for boys to be circumcised. Seems so behind the times. Why put your child through it? I don't get it.

RedTagAlan · 15/11/2025 04:55

mathanxiety · 15/11/2025 04:26

I don't know why any university would rest on its laurels when it comes to securing its own funding, particularly now that we've all seen what trump is capable of when it comes to academic freedom and federal funding. An independent university sector is vital to the robustness and integrity of research.

The inability of British university administrators to think clearly when it comes to money has led to a crisis in British third level education.

There is enough tax revenue for SNAP, medicaid, and medicare, and the other quality of life support the federal government has provided for many decades now. Money is not the problem. The current iteration of the GOP just has an ideological aversion to the idea of community.

The GOP has been trying to cut SNAP since well before Trump. Their whole ideology is small government and "nothing for free"

What was it Reagan said. " The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help"

It could be argued that Repubs are not adverse to funding the elite universities is because they want their kids to go. All this legacy admissions and all that.

And a nice beefy donation also helps with admissions. Trump himself benefitted from that.

It's a system that is very open to corruption.

mathanxiety · 15/11/2025 05:01

Pinkbowls · 12/11/2025 13:12

What if the food bank ran out? This was the scenario that lady was trying to represent. No food any where she looks. She is desperate so reaches out to churches. Even the mega churches that rake in millions a year said no.

Don’t churches have discretionary funds for a one off donation? Didn’t the people on the other end of the phone line feel anything?

I would’ve offered to pay out of my own pocket if I asked her to come down with her baby and I could verify.

A lot of these churches are pro choice. They should be supporting the children that need help.

The only churches that do help were black Christian churches or progressive left wing ones, and a mosque.

One of my DDs used to have a Saturday morning job in my parish office, and every weekend she spent a lot of her time dealing with people who rang the doorbell looking for money, etc. The majority of them were junkies or chancers. The parish had a leaflet with numbers, addresses, and opening hours of all the local agencies and charities, and the local police handled people experiencing mental health issues (who also wanted the teenager in the church office to help them) with discretion.

DD developed a good eye for people genuinely in need, and the parish had an arrangement with a local supermarket to provide specific items, which would later be billed to the parish (or more often written off). The supermarket would provide baby formula, diapers, milk, sanpro, peanut butter, bread - simple staples, if the person in need presented a note from the parish to the customer service manager. The doorbell ringers were not given money. Actually the local police were well able to assist in the same way (because people often turned up at the police station looking for help too).

mathanxiety · 15/11/2025 05:09

RedTagAlan · 15/11/2025 04:55

The GOP has been trying to cut SNAP since well before Trump. Their whole ideology is small government and "nothing for free"

What was it Reagan said. " The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help"

It could be argued that Repubs are not adverse to funding the elite universities is because they want their kids to go. All this legacy admissions and all that.

And a nice beefy donation also helps with admissions. Trump himself benefitted from that.

It's a system that is very open to corruption.

You are grossly over egging the dangers of private donations to universities. It's not a cynical plot to get the children of the rich admitted. Even very lowly institutions with mediocre academic reputations manage to far exceed the best British universities in fundraising.

Yes, the GOP has historically been very willing to promote the idea that welfare recipients are work shy spongers and need to experience more motivation to provide for their own needs, regardless of the fact that most SNAP recipients are employed, many by the likes of Walmart, a company whose owners are among the world's richest. trump is Reagan with the gloves off.

RedTagAlan · 15/11/2025 05:18

mathanxiety · 15/11/2025 05:09

You are grossly over egging the dangers of private donations to universities. It's not a cynical plot to get the children of the rich admitted. Even very lowly institutions with mediocre academic reputations manage to far exceed the best British universities in fundraising.

Yes, the GOP has historically been very willing to promote the idea that welfare recipients are work shy spongers and need to experience more motivation to provide for their own needs, regardless of the fact that most SNAP recipients are employed, many by the likes of Walmart, a company whose owners are among the world's richest. trump is Reagan with the gloves off.

I have nothing against donations to Universities. I am not saying donations are corrupt, my view is that the US is very transactional, and massively open to corruption.The US do not even try too hard to hide it.

A company I worked for, the two founders donated to UK universities. A clock and a library.

And going by the UK press, UK academics appear to be holding their own. Covid vax, new medical treatments part funded by the NHS.

ThreeRandomWordz · 15/11/2025 05:41

HermioneWeasley · 12/11/2025 13:02

If you read the Laura Ingalls Wilder “little house” books, you’ll get a great insight into the American psyche. It was settled by people who were hard working and self reliant, who built log cabins either their bare hands and crossed the country in covered wagons in the dead of winter. They expect to work hard and provide for themselves and their families, and success is seen as a good thing. Also that guns were essential.

No one was crossing the plains in the dead of winter. 🙄 They would have planned their trips to get where they were going before winter set in.

The Little House books are children's stories and as such leave out the harsh realities of life in the frontier. It's romantisised and not always honest about what happened.

ThreeRandomWordz · 15/11/2025 05:44

RememberBeKindWithKaren · 15/11/2025 04:55

I don't follow why for Americans it's still seen as completely normal, ( ignoring religious beliefs) for boys to be circumcised. Seems so behind the times. Why put your child through it? I don't get it.

It's getting less common - https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/news/newsroom/news-releases/2025/09/johns-hopkins-study-newborn-male-circumcision-rates-in-us-dropped-between-2012-and-2022

ThreeRandomWordz · 15/11/2025 05:53

There are ways to get abortion pills by mail in every state. The legality can be a bit tricky depending on the state. https://www.plancpills.org/

Vodkamartini3olives · 15/11/2025 06:16

clinellwipe · 12/11/2025 13:25

I remember a girl collapsing at a concert I was at in America , I’m medical so did the very basics but she remained unconscious. She could have been diabetic or had an overdose or who knows. I said to security to call 911 and they kept saying we needed her consent as she’d have to pay for the ambulance (!!) I couldn’t believe it as she was in no position to consent to anything! They reluctantly called for an ambulance in the end but it was so bizarre to me as a Brit all the time wasting.

I find that really hard to believe. My son is a paramedic and they have a duty to provide emergency relief to anyone that needs it. Insurance coverage would never be a factor. That would be something delt with after the fact by hospital administration.

freakingscared · 15/11/2025 08:18

The other issue I can’t understand is , I don’t think any country can be called a fist world country without a national heath service . We have family in the USA and a few years ago I remeber a family member rushing home after cancer surgery because dye didn’t want to go over the allowed dets in hospital . Any bad luck and you will owe money all your life . It’s sad . Even to have a baby you must pay thousands.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 15/11/2025 08:26

Pinkbowls · 12/11/2025 00:10

The US was built on slavery. All this talk about enterprise and self sufficiency.

What wasn't built on slavery? It was everywhere.

Are you familiar with the Ottoman Empire?

Genevieva · 15/11/2025 08:33

mathanxiety · 15/11/2025 04:12

Until 1776, when the thirteen colonies became independent of Britain, that 'light touch' administration of the colonies meant that slavery flourished for over 150 years in what became the United States. This was a time when the vast majority of immigrants to the US came from Britain.

The abolition of slavery didn't stop mill owners of Britain from importing American cotton for many decades afterwards. Britain had its own alternative sources of raw materials in the remainder of its empire too. The looting of the empire remains a major part of the grudge borne by former colonies.

The money made by enslavers went a long way toward building the economy of Britain.

Indeed. That’s somewhat tangential to the original point, but you are right to some degree. Though the financial benefits largely stayed in the colonies. Britain was already prosperous without them. The Industrial Revolution was largely built in the backs of English and Welsh miners. But even before that, if you look at accounts of peasants in England compared with France, written by both French and English travellers in the 16th century, they commented on the stark contrast on quality of life, with English peasants having more autonomy, money, better health, better diets with access to good quality meat and even land holdings. To some extent the Industrial Revolution destroyed that. It created a middle class, but impoverished peasants. It’s a complex history.

RedTagAlan · 15/11/2025 08:36

mathanxiety · 15/11/2025 05:09

You are grossly over egging the dangers of private donations to universities. It's not a cynical plot to get the children of the rich admitted. Even very lowly institutions with mediocre academic reputations manage to far exceed the best British universities in fundraising.

Yes, the GOP has historically been very willing to promote the idea that welfare recipients are work shy spongers and need to experience more motivation to provide for their own needs, regardless of the fact that most SNAP recipients are employed, many by the likes of Walmart, a company whose owners are among the world's richest. trump is Reagan with the gloves off.

I am not over egging the dangers of anything.

My first post on this thread was to reply to a PP where I said donations to US universities were tax deductible. So the uni gets the money rather than the tax man.

Large donations in the US are very often far from altruistic.

You went on a tangent from that, and I pointed out another aspect of these donations, legacy admissions, and basically buying students in. Corruption.

If that is a large part of their funding model, and it works, then fair enough.

I am not an academic, but dangers to academic freedom I do follow a bit. When an institution gets, and depends on, fees from PRC students for example, the CPC tries to influence what is studied. Especially in Australia.