To be a bit sad I’ve never received a Christmas stocking?

[Jumpeduppantry]

I know, very much a minor thing in the grand scheme and all that. But I grew up in a very isolated family (no grandparents, aunts, uncles or cousins) and parents with very firm ideas about the importance of not spoiling children.
We were never told about Santa (as in, being given to believe in it), never had Christmas stockings, very limited presents that were never wrapped (wasteful), not allowed a selection box (too indulgent) or annuals (considered unsuitable).
We did get presents, but always limited and very sensible. I appreciate that plenty of kids receive worse but it always seemed a bit miserable especially when I got older and realised what friends experience was like. Looking back now it just feels such a shame and sad that this was a choice, not anything about affordability.
I have tried to do things very differently with my kids, not OTT but making Christmas fun and sparkly (and Santa came to our house when the kids were little). I still do stockings for them even now they’re adults (which I think they like).
It just struck me as a little sad that I’ve never had a stocking for me.
I need to get a grip, obviously!

I had never had a stocking until about three years ago (we had pillow cases when I was a child) when my adult children presented my husband and me with one each. We (well, I) do the stockings for the children. They do the ones for us.

YANBU at all. I spent a lot of my life wishing I’d had various fun elements friends did as kids and eventually decided to do it all for myself 😂 So basically any time I see something small and a bit too frivolous throughout the year I buy it for myself and stash it. I also take lots of joy out of building stockings for various close friends/extended family who don’t have anyone to make one for them - and of course, keeping DSs magic alive as long as possible 😊

OP I’ve DMd you but if you don’t find it too weird I’m happy to send you one/add you to my ‘Santa list’ if you’d like x **beware it would come in a comically badly hand-knitted stocking because I refuse to buy them in the hopes my non-existent knitting skills get better the more I knit

Tell your husband you want one this year.
Decide what type of things you'd like in it and he can get them (so you are getting a semi idea of what it will be but it's still surprises).
Maybe go for that concept some people do of the 4 things -
Something to wear (so for example socks)
Something you want (new paperback novel)
Something you need (actually maybe change this to something fun 🤔)
Something to eat (chocolate coins)
(although I'd insist on 2 of everything to make the stocking more fun 🙂)

I had never had a stocking until about three years ago (we had pillow cases when I was a child)

Not sure this is quite the same 😂

I would buy myself a few small things and then give them to DH and your DC to put a stocking together for you. Or tell them what you'd like. They don't have to be tat. Some good ideas up thread. I'm doing one for DH and he's getting a book, socks, chocs. Also each stocking has to have some walnuts and an orange! My dad used to put a piece of coal in mine - for luck!

OP I would just drop a very strong hint, well in advance!

No hints.
Just say you want one.

That’s so sad. I lm a single parent who both firmly believes in Father Christmas and does her own Christmas stocking. If my dc ever tell me they don’t believe I’ll be asking them to do it for me. They are 18.16, and 10.

No- they should be buying all of it!n

You’re not being unreasonable at all! I echo other suggestions to get your kids or husband (although it sounds like he’d not be keen) to do a stocking for you. Or a close friend and you could do the same for them? I’d even do one for myself if my husband hadn’t taken over stocking duties from my parents!

Your husband should deffo do one for you, we do each others'. A stocking doesn't have to be plastic tat, we go mostly for consumables (chocs, bottle of beer/fizz, nuts, coffee beans, fancy mustard etc) or kind of boring but always needed stuff (travel size deo, thermal socks, makeup, car air freshener) so it's not just rubbish. My kids get more plastic tat than we do though.

We all do stockings as a family in the morning, and growing up my mum did one for whoever was at ours, so grandparents, stray friends etc. I hope you get involved OP!

I'm so sad for you OP. I think you definitely deserve a stocking of your own.

Suggest it to your adults kids and/or husband and if they don't take up the reins then do it for yourself. It's not the same but you'll find if you start early buying little treats and wrapping them, you'll forget what some if them are until you open them.

My husband and I have always done one for each other. It's a really lovely start to Christmas day, opening our little gifts over breakfast. We save our main presents under the tree until a bit later.

I think you've missed the point a bit. A pillow case full of presents amounts to the same as a stocking. I always had a pillow case as a child but it was always called a Christmas stocking. The OP means she has never had anything remotely like either of them in her entire life.

You could get your dc to fill a large sock for you.
As a dc we had a sock instead of a stocking and a pillowcase instead of a sack.
That was in the 60’s.
I look back with nostalgia to that sock which had an orange, an apple, a handful of nuts ( which mum ate because we didn’t want them), a new handkerchief and perhaps one small gift.
Then we had about 4/5 wrapped gifts plus a selection box.

One year my main gift was an Etch a Sketch and I loved it.

I don’t think dc have such good Christmases now, It’s just all too much.

I never had a stocking because it wasn't a thing in our family. I'm still not entirely sure what the point of them is and they seem to be mostly filled with pointless cheap tat. All my presents were under the tree and I never felt hard done by.

Not necessarily.
My dc had a stocking and a sack, my dsil had lovely gifts but had never had a separate stocking until he had Christmas at our house.
I make each new dgc a reversible stocking with a childish pattern one side and something more sophisticated on the other so it will last them forever.

I know it’s not the same, but I always do my own stocking

They're only full of "pointless cheap tat" if that's what the person who fills them puts in them 😂
It doesn't actually magically appear.

😂

My parents used to save the unwanted cracker gifts from my dad’s work Christmas do a few weeks before Christmas and add them to our stockings. An excellent and economical use of pointless cheap tat, particularly as the actual purpose of the stockings was to occupy the children on Christmas morning so my parents could get a lie in and get Christmas dinner on before the main more formal present opening later in the morning.

For various reasons I dislike birthdays and Christmas.

We had a pillowcase of presents when we were small. Thank the lord for the kays catalogue.

@Jumpeduppantry In your shoes I'd go ahead and buy that stocking. Can be big, small, childlike or grown-up, whatever most appeals to you. Then buy yourself a good selection of treats, gifts and joy-making things. It will fill that void, and as you're buying the things yourself there will be absolutely no waste since you know what you'd like.

Do it this year, as you go about buying presents for everyone else.

Next year, starting in January, buy one or two things monthly. Wrap as you go, then store in a specific box/drawer/whatever. When Christmas rolls around you will likely have forgotten what's in the little packages and your stocking will be full of fun surprises. 🎄

Thanks everyone for your kind responses. I think I struggle with the feeling that we were never worth making a fuss of or indulging, and it was deliberate not due to circumstances. I know I have to just get over it (and for the most part I have) but as Christmas approaches I always get a bit of a sad feeling. I don’t think DH would be keen on doing a stocking, he isn’t anti-Christmas at all, but present buying really isn’t his forte. Sibling lives abroad and we’re not close, just send Christmas cards now. I think it’s more about the feeling of not being worth/deserving of being treated, than the actual stocking.

Not unreasonable at all @Jumpeduppantry I've never had a stocking either but I did have lovely presents and Christmases as a child, but presents were just under the tree.
My now adult dc still get them from/ filled by me and I've always enjoyed doing them. Dropped hints fell on deaf ears apart from DH buying me a stocking (empty) one year!! I mean, what could I say lol. He's generally lovely so I let it go.

Anyway, this year I decided I'd make one for myself but, reading this thread, I'm going to ask them to do one for me - between the three of them. Surely they could manage that?!
Or maybe I should stick to the original plan.

You can’t go back in time but you can now enjoy the magic alongside your children

Stockings are so lovely / satsumas, chocolate, 50p, socks or something like that , soap or bubble bath, and a book or small toy - nothing wasteful, nothing wrapped , nothing really unpredictable , but a joy , a little magic

all lives deserve some magic

I would be asking the kids wistfully if they like stockings still because you don’t know never had one … and cross your fingers