Does this teacher sound mean?

[Stoptheworldiwanttogetoffit]

Dc in Year 1, she came out of school crying today, very upset. She said the teacher had taken a stamper thing off her and will give it back to her tomorrow afternoon. It was one I got her from a recent holiday, which made her more upset. She said a new boy in the class had asked to use it so she wanted to be kind and gave it him. He apparently was messing about with it and the teacher asked whose it was and took it away. Dd also said today another girl brought a book in to school and was showing Dd, then Dd got told to put it away, in a harsh tone.
She was also doing her homework and got quiet and said she didn’t think the teacher was impressed with her work, I asked why/what made her think that and she said she didn’t know, just a feeling she had.
Does all this sound like usual classroom goings on and Dd just had a bad day?

The teacher is trying to get very young children to focus. Passing things around the classroom like stampers and books is a big distraction. Teacher is trying to keep control.

Yep toys from home are not allowed where I work. If spotted then children are asked to put them away. I am surprised she didn't get it back at the end of the day, as that's what we would normally do.
I would remind your daughter not to take things from home into school again.

I never allow dc to take in toys or objects from home, it's just too tempting. And has been taken off of someone who was messing about. The book may also have been shown at an time when other things should be happening. It's hard to herd 30 kids to do what they need without other distractions, so I try to set up dd for success as much as I can.

I don’t think you can really make any judgements based on these interactions. Continue to listen to your dd but I wouldn’t make any assumptions on the back of this.

I think this was the punishment, not allow her to have it back until tomorrow, Dd was v sad about this part

Toys from home not allowed in most schools as the kids lose them or swop them and then school have to sort out that Annabelle gave freddie some heirloom doll worth 60 quid.

She says others bring small toys into school…so it’s a bit confusing 🫤 this was part of stationery, so at least less annoying than the mini soft toys some of them bring in?

I wouldn't have let her take anything into school to be honest of course it's going to be a distraction. I don't think the teacher is being mean she is trying to ensure the class are focused on their learning and both the book and the stamper were stopping your child from focusing.

Personally, I think it’s a bit harsh. Ask them to put it away as as others have said toys shouldn’t be in class. If she was defiant and continued to play with the stamp then it should be taken away and given at the end of the day.

5 year olds are notorious for bringing toys into school and sometimes having a favourite bear in their bag is harmless if it brings comfort but as soon as it’s brought out of the bag that’s when issues starts. E.g. it gets broken or lost or distracts the teacher from teaching.

It sounds like in both incidents the items were been used at inappropriate times (lesson time). Both times the item was distracting. This is why most schools have a no toys from home policy. Going forward, it's best if your DD observes this policy. By all means she could take it for morning drop off if she wants to show friends something and then it goes home with the adult, but it should not be going into school. Your DD has learnt a lesson today.

Did you ask the teacher about it or was she in after school club?

I guess the teacher had got annoyed as it was clearly distracting and there is also the possibility she had already been warned once about it.

There is also the chance the teacher did intend to give it back sooner but then forgot, the end of the day can be very busy making sure everyone has their home stuff so they aren't going to prioritise toys that shouldn't have been there in the first place. stopping children taking things into school isn't to be mean, but so many things can and do happen - they show a friend (and not a teacher) and the toy goes missing - the teacher then is to blame and has no idea what it is they are looking for, the toy gets broken (possibly by another child), the child offers to give it to another child in exchange for something - then changes their mind once they have swapped. It's a total nightmare hence why I always tell children that precious items are for home.

I agree with others, I wouldn’t let her take things to school. A stamper isn’t really necessary stationery after all. If there are any further issues, I’d try and have a discussion with the teacher.

Good, then it worked and she'll be more mindful in future of when she gets her toys out. This is literally what consequences are for OP, you don't want to avoid discipline because you're worried about making your child sad. You literally won't survive a teenage girl.

It seems harsh to me too, Dd started to cry and asked at the end of the day if she could have it back and the teacher said not until the end of school the next day

You need to check with the teacher. Of course she will say others do!

Occasionally some children are allowed a toy but this is always agreed by the teacher or sendco first. This is why it's best to check if she is saying everyone else is, because maybe there is a child who has a toy but they have a specific reason for this. It can be hard trying to explain to children why some children are allowed these things but most can accept that everyone is different and are quite aware of the needs of their friends.

Context is everything though op. Was your dd showing off her stamper at breaking or was it right in the middle of the teacher trying to introduce a new maths problem and your dd and the little boy were talking. This isn't going to scar her for life.

No.

Stop letting your daughter take toys to school. It doesn't matter what other kids do.

She gave her toy and it distracted the class and she lost it for a day or two. This is no big deal and the teacher was right to confiscate it. Your daughter has to learn.

It's better to be strict at the beginning so all kids know the rules

I don’t avoid discipline but this seems harsh to me, they’re still little, she was letting the new boy look at it to be kind, it wasn’t even her messing about with it

Just don't send stuff in..others probably will but invariably it'll get lost or stolen anyway. Just don't.

She's not there to be kind. She's there to learn and her toy was distracting other kids.

Your kid messed up and she found out.

Jesus…

Sorry, but an ink stamper is just asking for trouble.

Did she tell you what else was going on when the stamper was being played with? Presumably it was during a time when the children were meant to be concentrating on something else otherwise the teacher likely wouldn’t have cared.

Items from home are really distracting in a classroom. It is good that the teacher has been clear on expectations and consequences. Can you imagine if every child took just one thing in?!