'In the trenches'

[saraclara]

AIBU to think that referring to early motherhood as being 'in the trenches' is pretty crass? I've always hated it, but this week it's particularly jarring.

Being in the trenches meant sheer terror, millions of deaths (around 3m died in the trenches) and many more injured and traumatised for the rest of their lives.

Comparing wrangling toddlers, to that, just seems deeply inappropriate, imo.

YABU it felt like a war to me.

I was battling anxiety, boredom, overwhelm, regret and the daily sheer relentlessness of it.

I was a single parent working three jobs to keep a roof over our heads.

Yabu, language evolves.

It probably feels like that at that moment when you are having a bad day.

Yanbu. I don't know how anyone could even defend the comparison.

I've not heard it thankfully.

Language expressions do not have to be literal. I might put my head above the parapet at work but would be suprised to get shot by an arrow

Agreed. And the people who say it won't even be wearing poppies I bet.

I mean it’s a bit like saying “I’m starving” when you only had breakfast a couple of hours ago. It’s just exaggerating and obviously not on the same level.

Are you always so literal? Trench warfare as related to in WW1 was over 100 years ago, is it not possible for language to evolve in 100 years or take on alternative meaning?

Google search:
Being in the trenches" literally refers to the grueling and dangerous conditions of military trench warfare, and figuratively means working in the most difficult and active parts of a job or situation. In both meanings, it implies being at the forefront of action, dealing with challenges, and facing hardship.

And yes, dealing with small children is gruelling, and when sleep deprived, probably dangerous!

Said as a poppy wearing, daughter of an Army vet, supporter of the British Legion.

Go find something else to be offended by.

Its just language. I remember people saying to me when I was young, "you've been in the wars" when I grazed knee. I don't think they were really comparing my experience of hurting my knee to that of the soldiers fighting in the Battle of the Somme.

It's hyperbole.

Yes. Those that think normal life is any way comparable to the real trenches, are pretty dense. 🙄

Yeah but when you think about it there are loads of these sort of sayings in existence. ‘Dragged over hot coals’ or ‘put myself in the firing line’ or ‘run the gauntlet’ for example. It’s obviously not literal.

Do you ever use the phrase “drunk the Koolaid” OP?

This exactly. It’s a saying. Do you always take things so literally OP? If so you wouldn’t want to come to my mums for tea - used to always be shit with sugar on 😂

I absolutely detest that phrase.

It can go in the bin with “find your tribe” and “pick your battles”.

edit to add, because I find them all overused and somewhat patronising but I can’t say they offend me.

‘Thankfully’ - why!? What would you do!?
I hope I never hear you saying that you’re starving…

YABU, OP. Nobody means it in the sense they think it’s as bad. Otherwise there will be so many ‘offensive’ terms of phrase.

Loads of sayings are now used which are far from the original meaning, just don’t use it if you don’t like it. My pet hates are “boots on the ground “ and “front line workers “. Annoying to me but I don’t use them so I just roll my eyes (in my head) when I hear them.

It’s a metaphor, not a comparison.

It is a turn of phrase and it's obviously not meant to be taken literally. Although I do think it sums up those early years perfectly! 😂

Saying "I can fight my own battles" doesn't mean an actual battle.
Saying someone is "on the warpath" doesn't mean they are fighting a war

Chill out. It’s fine.

ps dont catch a chill, I only mean relax lol. 😜

not good timing to be raising this question considering it’s nearly armistice day.

World War One was over a hundred years ago. I think there’s been enough distance now that it’s not going to cause offence.

Hugely offensive, too, to talk about "meeting your Waterloo", given the numbeer of people who died there.

Oh, wait, no it's not because literally no one is going to think you are inviting an actual literal comparison with the suffering involved in events from a century or two ago.

YABU language evolves.
How did you manage during Covid? So much war talk then... nurses on the frontline etc.

Just noticed another thread title - "Bitten to death", which is about mosquitoes. Presumably this is deeply offensive to people who have actually been bitten to death.

It's not only used in that context though is it? As others have pointed out there are lots of war related metaphors that have made their way into every day language. And it's not just parents doing it.